Lying Down Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

701 Results for Lying Down

View 11 - 20 results for lying down comic strips. Discover the best "Lying Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

No Policy Against Lying

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Policy Against Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #ted, #evil, #director, #human, #resources, #lying, #policy, #checked

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources. Ted: Alice called me a liar. Catbert: What were you doing when that happened? Ted: Lying. Catbert: Maybe we should talk about that. Ted: There's no company policy against lying I checked.

Business Lying

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Business Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #lying, #context, #important, #acceptable, #sick, #sarcasm, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: is it lying if i leave out important context from my project updates? dogbert: that's called "business lying" and it is totally acceptable. tina: but it makes me feel sick. dogbert: that's how you know you are doing it right.

Tina's Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina's Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #laptop computer, #project, #team, #lying, #garbage, #insult, #soul, #conscience, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

tina tying on laptop computer: "no one on the project team could have foreseen that the problem that..." tina's soul: you are a lying piece of garbage. tina: who said that? tina's soul: it's your soul. we can't hang out anymore. tina: fine. you were slowing me down.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #commerce, #economic policy, #utax incentives, #projects, #tax savings, #executive bonuses, #stimulate economy, #trickle on your heads, #trickle down theory, #poker night

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We've decided to use the new tax incentives on the projects we were going to do anyway." The Boss says, "The tax savings will go toward executive bonuses, which stimulate the economy via the 'trickle on your heads' theory." Alice says, "It's called the 'trickle down' theory." The Boss says, "Not on poker night."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #act nervous, #air travel, #airport security, #guards, #more invasive, #new pat down, #procedures, #situations, #sleeper cell, #terrorits, #tsa, #molestation

View Transcript

Transcript

Airport Security Man says, "Step over here, sleeper cell." Man says, "Our new pat down procedures might be more invasive than you're used to." Man says, "Only terrorists act nervous in these situations." Airport Security

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #firewall down, #viruses, #spyware, #tuberculosis, #zombies, #deposed dictator, #iphone 3gs, #army of mole people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our firewall is down. Some bad stuff is getting through. Boss: How bad? Dilbert: So far we've seen viruses, spyware, tuberculosis, zombies, a deposed dictator, and an iPhone 3GS. Update: an army of mole people from another dimension has tunneled through. Boss: Keep me informed.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #couples, #dating, #mobile (cell) phones, #ex boyfreind, #entertainment stabdard, #samrtphone, #smartphone scale, #lying larry, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I used to compare all men to my ex-boyfriend. Now I compare all men to the entertainment standard of my smartphone. Dilbert: I only scored a two on the smartphone scale, but I was a solid five compared to someone named "lying Larry."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #computers & peripherals, #office equipment, #servers down, #holdup, #iterated by idiot, #guard door, #don't see guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The servers are down. Dilbert: I know. Boss: You should do something about it. Dilbert: I'm trying. Boss: What's the holdup? Dilbert: I keep getting interrupted by an unhelpful idiot. Boss: Maybe I can help. I'll guard your doorway and keep that guy away from you. This is boring. And I don't see that guy. Have I managed enough for now? Dilbert: You nailed it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #envy, #big promotion, #congratulations, #not jealous, #good work, #art of full body lying

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Hey, Alice! Did you hear about my big promotion? Alice: Congratulations, Ted. I'm not jealous at all. Keep up the good work. Sorry about my face. I haven't mastered the art of full-body lying.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #retail business, #sales trip, #dont talk, #misleading impression, #engineering support, #after sale, #bag of meat, #lying bag of meat

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to come with me on a sales trip, but don't talk to the customer. Your presence is needed to give a misleading impression of how much engineering support we plan to offer after the sale. Dilbert: So I'm nothing but a bag of meat? Boss: No. You're a lying bag of meat.