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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 1997's comic on:


Tags #invented first web browser, #garbage man, #flashback, #computer, #waiting fro nothing, #out of hand, #blame on college kid, #technology

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk in the park. Dilbert is wearing a sweatshirt. Dilbert asks, "Are you telling me that YOU invented the first Web browser?" Dogbert replies, "Not alone. I worked with our garbage man." The caption says, "Flashback." Dogbert sits on a garbage can and tells the garbage man, "I wonder how long people would sit in front of a computer waiting for nothing." The garbage man replies, "Let's find out!" They sit at a computer. The garbage man asks, "What if this thing gets out of hand?" Dogbert replies, "We'll blame it on some drunken college kid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2003's comic on:


Tags #homemaking skills, #marry a man, #garbageman, #present value cash flow, #comparison, #trained monkeys, #monkey surplus, #bobby upset

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Alice is walking outside, she approaches The Garbageman and asks, "Would it be wrong to marry a man for his homemaking skills?" The Garbageman replies, "Do a present-value cash-flow comparison of marriage versus the equivalent service from trained monkeys." Bobby is sobbing. Alice consoles him, "It's not you.. it's me... and a world wide oversupply of monkeys."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2010's comic on:


Tags #powerpoint proboscis, #medical condition, #nose grows, #long nose, #lie, #pinocchio, #garbage man, #Advice, #corporate whistle-blower, #nose through garbage bag

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Asok says, "My nose grows when my co-workers tell lies." Garbage man says, "Does it whistle?" Asok says, "Sometimes, a little bit." Garbage man says, "You're evolving into a corporate whistle-blower." Asok says, "Are you lying?" Garbage man says, "Yeah, I just wanted to see it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #office equipment, #questioning, #wise garbageman, #powerpoint slides, #only delicious, #small does, #analogy, #works for flies

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Dilbert: Wise garbage man, tell me why Powerpoint slides are so boring. Garbageman: Powerpoint is a lot like garbage. It's only delicious in small doses. Too much can kill you. Dilbert: That analogy only works for flies. Garbageman: Oooh. Look who thinks she's better than flies.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #office workers, #focus areas, #sense of humor, #dumb enogh, #misunderstood man, #angry idiot, #selling it

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Boss: These are our 25 focus areas for next year. Asok: Ha ha! Good one. Sometimes I think you have no sense of humor and then zing! What? Dilbert: I think it's real. Asok: It can't be real. No one would be dumb enough to think we can focus on 25 areas. Don't worry. I've got this. This misunderstood man is a brilliant comedian. He is only pretending to be an angry idiot. You're totally selling it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2012's comic on:


Tags #brag, #contributions, #ego, #hours of work, #man of ideas, #meeting, #business

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Wally: My contributions can't be measured by the number of hours I work. I'm a man of ideas. One great idea is worth more than all of you put together. Boss: Fine. Let's hear your great idea. Wally: You just did.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #pasta, #antipasto, #hungry, #socrates, #plato, #question, #hard, #philosophy, #man, #tree, #rock

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors under a tree. Dogbert says, "If a man eats a pound of pasta and a pound of antipasto . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Would they cancel each other out, leaving the man still hungry?" Dilbert says, "I can't imagine Socrates and Plato debating that question." Dogbert asks, "Too hard, huh?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 1989's comic on:


Tags #comrade, #dogsky, #electronic, #secrets, #soviet man, #microfiche, #hard copy, #cripple, #empire, #evil

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Dogbert walks down a sidewalk and a man in a trenchcoat says, "Pssst . . . Comrade Dogsky. Will you sell your master's electronic secrets to nice Soviet man?" Dogbert asks, "Will you be wanting them on microfiche or hard copy?" Back at home, Dilbert asks, "You're going to cripple the WHAT?" Dogbert, who is carrying plans, replies, "Evil empire. Trust me on this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #plastic surgery, #elephant man, #ivory, #spare parts

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert leans against his feet. Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Says here that Michael Jackson is considering even more plastic surgery." Dogbert says, "That explains why he wanted to buy the remains of the 'Elephant Man.'" Dilbert asks, "For spare parts?" Dogbert replies, "Well, it wasn't for the ivory."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #garbage, #cataloupe, #rinds, #newspaper, #sprinkled, #coffee, #grounds, #blue collar, #work, #romantic

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Dogbert asks the garbage man, "Mister Garbage Man, what is life?" The garbage man replies, "Well, Dogbert . . ." The garbage man continues, "Life is like old cantaloupe rinds wrapped in a faded newspaper and sprinkled with wet coffee grounds." Dogbert asks, "Life is garbage?" The garbage man replies, "Call me a romantic."