Managers Elbow Comic Strips - Page 2

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357 Results for Managers Elbow

View 11 - 20 results for managers elbow comic strips. Discover the best "Managers Elbow" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #ranking, #rating system, #salary depnds, #bpss, #defends, #managers, #ring a bell

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The Boss's secretary tells Dilbert, "He's with the other managers in an employee ranking and rating session." The secretary continues, "Your salary depends on how well your boss can defend your proposed raise to the other managers." Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs. A man says to the Boss, "I'm fairly sure this Dilbert guy works for you." The Boss replies, "Doesn't ring a bell."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 1997's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #secret code, #little probelms, #technology, #managers, #agreed, #comapny

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Dilbert and an engineer from the other company sit at a table. Dilbert has a laptop computer open. Dilbert asks, "Tell me the truth. Use the engineer's secret code if you must." Dilbert continues, "Are there any little problems with the technology that my managers agreed to buy from your company?" The other engineer laughs, "Ha Ha Snort Snort Ha Ha Ha!!!" Dilbert types into his laptop and says, "1100111... Good. Go on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 1997's comic on:


Tags #contact, #important documents, #listening, #managers, #mandatory classes, #subordinates, #time mangement, #prerequisite class

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Catbert reads from a paper to the Boss. "There are several mandatory classes for managers." Catbert reads, "Avoiding contact with subordinates, Misplacing important documents, The joy of listening to your own voice." Catbert says, "Have you taken the prerequisite class in time management?" The Boss says, "Twice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1997's comic on:


Tags #input, #fist of death, #corporate culture, #find cause, #caused by managers, #culture problem

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The Boss says, "Alice, I'd like your input on something." Alice thinks, "Uh-oh . . . My intuition is activating the fist of death. Must . . . Control . . ." They sit at a conference table and the Boss says, "Our corporate culture is bad." The Boss continues, "I'm trying to find the cause." Alice replies, "Well, obviously the problem isn't caused by managers who have no self-awareness . . . So what could it be?" Alice continues, "The culture problem must be coming from the other direction. Some EMPLOYEE must be causing this problem!" Alice continues, "I think it's the guy in the mail room. His bad culture is infecting the rest of us." The Boss stands in the mail room. A man says, "If this is about that conference room full of mail, I don't know how it got there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1997's comic on:


Tags #albert einstein, #marketing, #idea, #never work, #don't fully understand, #albert, #quite an ego, #experienced managers, #work smarter, #not harder, #business

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What if...Albert Einstien had been in marketing? Dogbert stands excited. Albert Einstien hands a piece of paper to The Boss who sits behind his desk. Einstien says, "I have a great idea for increasing sales." The Boss reads report. The Boss says, "Nope. This will never work." Einstien asks, "Um...is it possible that you don't fully understand the idea?" The Boss says, "That's quite an ego you have there, Allan." Einstein frowns. Einstein says, "Albert." The Boss walks Einstien out of his office. The Boss says, "Experienced managers know how to identify bad ideas...." The Boss says, "Bad ideas come from other people. Now go work smarter, not harder." Einstien walks away. The Boss thinks, "I worry that a guy like that will go off and build a huge bomb."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 1999's comic on:


Tags #morale is low, #managers bonuses, #big changes, #surevy, #tenth year, #employee satisfaction

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The boss sits in a meeting with Alice and Dilbert. The boss says, "For the tenth year in a row, the employee satisfaction survey says morale is low. The boss says, "Managers' bonuses are linked to these results. You can be sure we'll make big changes...." The boss says, "...to the survey."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1999's comic on:


Tags #doctor dogbert, #marketimg, #elbow, #vote, #pulls pants down, #Politics

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Caption "Doctor Dogbert" Dogbert wears a crown and stethoscope. A fully clothed man sits on the examination table. He says, "I hurt my elbow, doctor." Dogbert says, "Let me see it." The man pulls down his pants. Dogbert says, "I recommend a career in marketing. And it's not a good idea to vote."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1999's comic on:


Tags #moral issues, #summarize, #appropriate categoires, #managers incompetent, #arrogant, #micromanaging, #msiogynists, #time of month

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Alice and the boss sit at a table. The boss has a lap top in front of him and says, "Tell me what moral issues you have. I'll summarize them under the appropiate categories." Alice says, "My managers are incompetent, arrogant, micro-managing misogynists." The boss says, "That's one under "time of the month."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #everything went wrong, #project wouldn't succeed, #for managers, #reverse amnesia, #project

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Dilbert pionts at the overhead. Dilbert says, "Everything went wrong in exactly the way I told you it would." Dilbert says, "In the next phase you will experience something I call "reverse amnesia for managers." The boss says, "Wait a minute; I'm the one who told you that the project wouldn't succeed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2000's comic on:


Tags #back in 10, #managers, #over communicate, #times of uncertainty, #you're fired, #ted fired

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The boss says to Ed: "Ed, the experts say managers should over-communicate during times of uncertainty." The boss screams at Ed: "You're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired!." Ed looks surprised. The boss says to Ed: "I'll come back in ten minutes to do that again." Ed looks angry.