Meaningless Comic Strips - Page 2

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27 Results for Meaningless

View 11 - 20 results for meaningless comic strips. Discover the best "Meaningless" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #boss, #employee, #stupid question, #inspire, #angry, #dead body, #business

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The Boss says, "Carol, how can I make you feel more inspired by your work?" Carol says, "I'm an admin, you steaming log. The only thing that would inspire me is finding your corpse floating in my worst enemy's drinking water." The Boss says, "It's just something they make me ask." Carol says, "Can I get back to my meaningless work now?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2009's comic on:


Tags #assignment, #realization, #angry, #useless, #meaningless, #breakdown, #screaming, #yelling, #ignoring

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The boss says, "Asok, I want to scrub the CPS database." Asok says, "No one uses that data." Asok the intern says, "But you are incapable of admitting error. So now I must dedicate my time to a thoroughly useless task." The boss thinks, "This job got easier when I stopped listening." Asok says, "It's like death, but without the glamour!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #title, #meaningless, #proud, #mean, #cruel, #deflated, #orders, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says ,"Employees are so important to me that our head of human resources will get a C-level title." Dogbert says, "Edna will be our CPO, or Chief People officer." Dogbert says ,"Take a seat over there by the chief artificial coffee creamer officer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #slide show, #test, #waste of time, #arms out, #angry, #cranky, #data, #business

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Dilbert says, "I'd like to thank all of the people who helped design the technology test parameters." Dilbert says, "Thanks to your input, the test had nothing in common with how things work in the real world." Dilbert says, "So I wasted two weeks of my life on a test that is not only meaningless..." Dilbert says, "...But alos dangerously misleading." Dilbert says, "This slide shows the gap between the test results and reality." The Boss says, "We'll use the test results anyway because it's the only data we have." Dilbert says, "Fine. I hope you all choke to death on your lunches." The Boss says, "Why's he so cranky?" Wally says, "Something about data."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2007's comic on:


Tags #management retreat, #golfing, #swimming, #drinking, #getting massages, #count printer papaer, #meaningless work assigned, #dead body, #Sports

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The Boss: "I'm off to the management retreat." "I won't be reachable because I'll be busy golfing, swimming, drinking, and getting massages." Carol: "And attending meetings?" The Boss: "I don't see how we'll have any time for that." "While I'm gone, I have a few tasks for you to do." "Open all the packages of printer paper and make sure they have the right number of sheets." "Then crawl into the heating ducts and see if you can find what died in there." Carol: "It's my last boss." the Boss: "Spray him with something lemony."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2005's comic on:


Tags #new director, #wist decision support, #out source contracts, #north elbonia, #government reward

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"My job could not be more meaningless." "I'm looking at my new Director of Post-Decision Support!" "After I make a decision, your job is to figure out why it was the right one." "Save those tears of joy for later. We've got work to do!" "SOB!" "I decided to outsource our nuclear contracts to North Elbonia." "And in return, they'll give us food, if they ever figure out how to grow any." "I expect some fallout from this decision." "Me too." "On the plus side, it won't be long before there's a government reward for killing him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2013's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #acknowledge contributions, #management

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Dilbert: I'd feel more loyalty to the company if management would acknowledge my contributions. Wally: If my job were as meaningless as yours, I wouldn't want management to notice me at all. Dilbert: You and I have the same job. Wally: I seem to be handling it better.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dating, #social, #social interaction, #honesty, #politeness, #overshare, #relationships

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Woman: So, tell me a little about yourself, and be totally honest. Dilbert: Totally honest? Okay... I like technology more than I like people. I don't believe in free will, soulmates, or following my passion. I think life is a brief, meaningless event in a random universe that doesn't care. I only associate with other people because I have biological and economical needs. I think all human actions are driven by selfishness. Woman: Uh... okay. Do you have any questions for me? Dilbert: Am I still being totally honest or should I act curious?

Visualize Your Contribution To Society

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Visualize Your Contribution To Society - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #meaning, #overthinking, #purpose, #value, #distraction, #thinking

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Dilbert: I like to start each workday by visualizing how my work will make the world a better place. Gaaaa!!! My life is meaningless and nothing I do will ever matter!!! Okay, good. I like to get that out of the way early.

False Sense Of Urgency

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False Sense Of Urgency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #guest artist, #managers, #motivation, #personality disorder, #sociopath, #strategy, #john glynn

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Boss: I don't think I'm doing enough to create a false sense of urgency. Catbert: Are you still a sociopath? Boss: That's the easy part. Catbert: Now add a meaningless deadline and some fear.