Meet With People Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Meet With People

View 11 - 20 results for meet with people comic strips. Discover the best "Meet With People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #alice, #space, #computer, #office, #case study, #todd, #allen, #Men

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert holds a pointer and says, "Today you will learn how to deal with people who have personality defects." The caption says, "Case 1: Todd laughs nervously at every one of his own comments." Todd says, "Don't hold it against me! Hee hee!" The caption says, "Remedy: Todd must be relocated to a distant planet." A space shuttle leaves a planet. On the planet's surface, Todd says, "It sure is lonely! Hee hee! The caption says, "Case 2: Allen stares at you like a zombie for long periods before responding to questions." The caption says, "Remedy: Allen must be paired with Virginia (Case 3) who fills all quiet spots with inane chatter." Dogbert pushes Virgina toward Allen. The caption says, "Case 4: Matt speaks slowly about amazingly boring topics." Matt says, "I . . . ate . . . a . . . pickle . . ." The caption says, "Remedy: Matt's head can be outfitted with a reading stand." A man reads a book that rests on Matt's head. Matt says, "I . . . like . . . pickles . . ." The caption says, "Case 5: An engineer. Remedy: Very quietly seal him in his own cubicle." Dogbert builds a brick wall in the door of Dilbert's cubicle.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #downtrodden cubicle workers, #form union, #working conditions, #salaried workers, #against law, #no overtime, #no security, #spines, #demand bigger cucbilce, #union dues, #long hours, #strap on spines

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hear me, all downtrodden cubicle workers!" "I have come to form a union to improve your working conditions!" "We can't join a union. We're salaried." "I think it's against the law, or something." "You've got long hours, no overtime, shrinking benefits and no job security. You must act now!" "You're confusing us with people who have spines." "Don't worry, I brought strap-on porta-spines for everybody." "I demand a bigger cubicle!" "Nobody will take advantage of us ever again!" "Now, let's talk about union dues." "Fair enough."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2002's comic on:


Tags #downsized, #info, #last day, #projects, #right away, #soon enough, #90 days

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands Dilbert a stack of papers and says, "Here are some projects to finish before your last day." Dilbert responds, "But.. I'll have to interact with people who know I've been downsized." The Boss replies, "Hee Hee!" A coworker mocks Dilbert, "I'll get this information to you right away. Is ninety days soon enough?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2002's comic on:


Tags #ceo visit, #tour of cubicles, #bunch of boxes, #pretend to work

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: The CEO Visit. The Boss says to the CEO, "Would you like a tour of our cubicles?" The CEO responds, "Why would I want to see a bunch of boxes filled with people pretending to work?" The CEO continues, "Unless that's the only thing you planned for the first thirty minutes of my visit."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2004's comic on:


Tags #retail distribution, #walgetco, #unreasonable, #special packageing, #foot powder

View Transcript

Transcript

"Meet with our huge retail distributor, Walgetco, and find out what they want now." "Say yes, no matter how unreasonable they are, because we need them more than they need us." ". . .Special packaging, rfid tags, and grind your bones to make store brand foot powder." "Yes!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2005's comic on:


Tags #nonsense, #no questions, #no time

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Aha! Just the person I need." "Meet with the LDC and make sure the MRT gets URPed when the RFIT gets NERKed to the ORCAT." "If you have any questions, I don't have time for that sort of thing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I want to debate with people on the Internet but I worry that I'm not smart enough." "Maybe I'll just read what the smart people are saying." "Okay, I'm in."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #elbonians, #war, #punching, #pow, #cultural sensitivity

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Alice, I'm sending you to cultural sensitivity training before we meet with the Elbonians." The Boss says, "Last time you almost started a war." Alice says, "I made one little mistake." FLASHBACK Alice says, "And here's another way the women in my country are different." POW!!!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2008's comic on:


Tags #agreement, #bad news, #euphoric feeling, #harsh landing, #illusion of progress, #lasts a minute, #momentary sweetness, #reacts, #spoiler, #planning meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Okay, we have a good plan forward. This meeting is adjourned. Oooh!!!" "AaaaH!!!" Asok: What is that?"AAAH!! Dilbert: She's tasting the sweet nectar of the illusion in progress. It's that euphoric feeling you get between the time you make a plan and the time some moron thwarts it. AAAH!!! It can last anywhere from less than a minute to as much as a minute. Wally: Ted won't meet with us because someone told him that you told someone else he was an obstacle. Alice: GRRRRR!!! Dilbert: The landing is harsh."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2013's comic on:


Tags #revenge, #power outage, #project team, #journey

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Do you have any work I can do during this power outage? Boss: You could meet with your project team. Wally: There's no way to contact them to schedule it. Boss: Why did you even bring it up? Wally: Sometimes it's about the journey.