Mention In Documents Comic Strips - Page 2

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75 Results for Mention In Documents

View 11 - 20 results for mention in documents comic strips. Discover the best "Mention In Documents" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #layer of management, #meeting disaster, #senior management, #warning the layer above, #dont mention problems

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Alice sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Don't mention any problems when you do your presentation to senior management, Alice." The Boss continues, "They might try to solve the problems during the meeting. That would be a disaster." Alice tells Dilbert, "As far as I can tell, every layer of management exists for the sole purpose of warning us about the layer above." Dilbert akss, "Are you saying they have a purpose?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contact, #important documents, #listening, #managers, #mandatory classes, #subordinates, #time mangement, #prerequisite class

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Catbert reads from a paper to the Boss. "There are several mandatory classes for managers." Catbert reads, "Avoiding contact with subordinates, Misplacing important documents, The joy of listening to your own voice." Catbert says, "Have you taken the prerequisite class in time management?" The Boss says, "Twice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #signed form, #alter dna, #legal documents, #look stupid, #not funny

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Dilbert stands with his arms crossed by Catbert's desk. Catbert holds a piece of paper. Catbert says, "Don't complain to me. You signed the form giving us permission to alter your DNA" Dilbert throws his hands up in frustration. Dilbert says, "No one reads legal documents before signing them. It makes you look stupid." Catbert looks at Dilbert's horn. Catbert says, "You have a point." Dilbert says, "That is SO not funny."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clean cubicle award, #matthew, #traveler check, #10 dollars, #downsized, #shredded documents, #motivational impact

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The Boss stands at the front of the room and says, "I'm happy to award the 'clean cubicle award' to Matthew." The Boss continues, "It's a ten-dollar 'travelers check.' Where's Matthew?" Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "He was cruelly downsized last month." Alice says, "His cubicle was clean because he shredded his important documents out of spite." Wally says, "All of his furniture and equipment were scavenged by bitter employees who have to do his work now." The Boss says, "This is not having the motivational impact I had hoped for." The Boss says, "Okay . . . The 'travelers check' will go to whoever knows what number I'm thinking." The Boss sits at a table in a restaurant. He hands the check to the waitress and thinks, "They sure were sore losers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #audit, #non conforming documents, #defeat prurpose, #voluntary audit, #torch cars

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The boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at the conference table. The boss says, "Our annnual ISO 9000 audit is next week." The boss says, "We can pass the audit if we put all our non-conforming documents in the trucks of our cars." Wally says, "Doesn't that defeat the purpose of a voluntary audit?" The boss says, "And then torch the cars."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #iso 9000, #falsify documents, #comapliance, #liance, #fraud, #cheat, #lie, #steal, #boss

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Wally, the boss, and Dilbert are in a meeting. The boss says, "In addition to ISO 9000, we will strive to be QS-9000 compliant." The boss continues, "That means falsifying the following documents: QSR, APQP, FMEA, MSA, SPC, PPAP and QSA." "Remember, you can't spell compliance without "liance"..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #air circulation, #Catbert, #relevance, #documents, #email, #shuffling paper, #creates circulation

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Asok asks Catbert: "Mister Catbert, could you help me see the revelance of my work to the well-being of society?" Catbert answers: "Your shuffling of unimportant documents helps the air circulate." Asok is sitting at his computer and thinks: "All of my documents are e-mail."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #circuit design, #mention, #didnt, #psychic, #conversation

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Dilbert is eating lunch with a female coworker. The coworker says, "Then I noticed that the circuit design looked like a bug. I was going to mention it but then I didn't." Dilbert exclaims, "I'm psychic!" Dilbert continues, "Unless you're saying out loud every thought that crosses your mind." The coworker gives the thumbs up and says, "It's called conversation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consulting firm, #fixing business strategies, #own industry, #doing bad, #never mention

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Consultant: My consulting firm specializes in fixing business strategies. Dilbert: Have you ever figured out why your own industry is in the toilet? Consultant: I'll give you a thousand dollars never to mention that again.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flew to location, #mix up, #introdcutions, #presentations, #documents, #confsuion, #audience, #trip

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Associate: "Everyone, this is Dilbert. He flew half-way around the world to give us this presentation." Dilbert: "What? I thought I flew here so YOU could give ME a presentation." Associate: oh "Maybe I could show you some proprietary documents." Dilbert: "I'd like that."