Microsoft Headquarters Comic Strips - Page 2

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27 Results for Microsoft Headquarters

View 11 - 20 results for microsoft headquarters comic strips. Discover the best "Microsoft Headquarters" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2003's comic on:


Tags #eat, #headquarters, #misunderstand, #mouth, #need shreded, #shredder

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The Boss: all shredders are nbeing centralized at our corporate headquarters. If you need something shredded, give it to ask. Dilbert: dude, I think he meant you would take it to the shredders. Asok: mouth....so...dry

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2007's comic on:


Tags #good will, #purchased, #redesigned headquarters, #horses rump, #executive suite

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Dogbert: "Now that I have purchased your company's goodwill, I plan to make some changes." "I redesigned your headquarters building." CEO: "What's this part that looks like a horse's rump?" Dogbert: "That's the entrance to the executive suite."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2012's comic on:


Tags #copyright & trademark, #farmers & farm workers, #violates patents, #close compnay, #lawyer, #off grid, #legal

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Lawyer: Our new product violates 70 Google patents, 14 Apple patents, 52 Oracle patents, and 37 Microsoft patents. There is no hope. I recommend that we close the company and become farmers. Boss: I need a lawyer with more fight in him. Lawyer: I'm off the grid.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1993's comic on:


Tags #stock market, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #iowa, #business strategy, #computer

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Dogbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I saved the company a fortune by sending the headquarters staff on one-way business trips." Dogbert continues as he types, "They haven't wasted money on any stupid projects all day . . . Now I can leak my strategy to the media and exercise my stock options at the uptick." The caption says, "Somewhere in Iowa." Dilbert stands in front of a farm and a dog growls at him. Dilbert says to a woman who is pointing a rifle at him, "Uh . . . I'm here for a meeting." The woman asks, "Did anybody see you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 1995's comic on:


Tags #tina, #tech worter, #documentation written, #software done

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The Boss says to Tina who is seated at her computer, "Tina, you'll have to have all the documentation written by next week so we can ship it when the software is done." Tina says angrily, "How can I write instructions for something that doesn't exist yet?" The Boss answers, "You'll have to make logical guesses." Tina types on her computer, "If you press any key your computer will lock up. If you call our tech support we'll blame 'Microsoft.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 1998's comic on:


Tags #silly putty, #fake beauty mark, #too much beauty, #fashion headquarters, #heroin chic, #dogs with tumors

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Dilbert is sitting in a chair and Dogbert says, 'Do you have any 'silly putty' I can use as a fake beauty mark?" Dilbert and Dogbert ist on Dilbert's bed. Dogbert has a huge lump of silly putty on his head. Dilbert holds upa mirror and says, "Maybe you should use less." Dogbert says, "There's no such thing as too much beauty." Meanwhile, at fashion headquaters... One guy looks a photograph and says, "We got away with 'heroin chic.' What's next?" The other guy says, "How about dogs with tumors?" A big pile of photos lies onthe table.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1998's comic on:


Tags #newest hore, #team member, #headless suit, #meetings, #never fire, #bad decsion, #head is in jar

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The Boss stands with his arm around a headless man. Alice sits at her computer. The Boss says, "Alice, meet the newest member of our team." The Boss says, "I hired him myself. That means I can never fire him; it would look like I made a bad decision." The Boss says, "Microsoft hired his head. It's in a jar in Redmond." Alice says, "And we got the part that goes to meetings."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #bill gates, #Dogbert, #incoming missles, #anti microsoft weapons, #press conference, #huge catapult

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Dilbert sits on the couch next to Dilmom. Dilbert says, on the phone, "Dogbert, Mom told Bill Gates she uses the "Linux" operating system!" Dogbert stand at a large control panel which included a radar screen. Dogbert says, "I'm tracking four incoming missles. I'll launch our anti-miscrosoft weapons to intercept." Three reporters fly through the air towards a missle that has "MS" on its side. One of thre reporters says, "I wondered why a press conference was being held in a huge catapult."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2002's comic on:


Tags #five year plan, #compared to plan, #dust heap, #history, #education

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The Boss pulls a file out of his drawer and thinks, "What's this? It's our old five- year plan!" He opens the file and thinks, "I wonder how we did compared to the plan." The Boss approaches Dilbert and asks, "Have we relegated Microsoft to the dust heap of history?" Dilbert responds, "Shhh! They might hear!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2002's comic on:


Tags #burned down, #customer headquaters, #employee screws up, #performance reviews, #demo unit

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Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. He says to The Boss, "Don't give performance reviews on time." Catbert continues, "Wait until an employee screws up something big, then pounce!" A frazzled employee with torn clothes and smoking hair says to The Boss, "...I forgot to unplug the demo unit and it burned down our customer's headquarters." The Boss asks, "Do you have a minute?"