Modify Conceptual Map Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

18 Results for Modify Conceptual Map

View 11 - 18 results for modify conceptual map comic strips. Discover the best "Modify Conceptual Map" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #conquest, #sneezed, #brain, #cells, #average, #election, #straight, #party, #ticket, #lunch, #world

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands over a map spread out on a table. Dilbert asks, "What's all this, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "I'm planning my world conquest." Dogbert says, "It shouldn't be too hard, given the fact I've probably sneezed more brain cells than the average human uses on election day." Dilbert says, "I usually vote a straight party ticket." Dogbert says, "I could be done before lunch."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dogbert the consultant, #relocate russia, #hire engineers, #weed out dumb, #like heaven

View Transcript

Transcript

Pointing to a map, Dogbert tells the Boss, "Your best bet is to relocate the company to Russia." Dogbert continues, "You can hire engineers for two cents a year!" The Boss asks, "Is it difficult to weed out the dumb ones?" Dogbert says, "No. And that leads me into the good news about their occupational safety laws." The Boss says, "It's like heaven!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #abusing power, #cucbicle, #floors of luxury, #gambling, #housing, #huge structure, #office relocation, #other reasons, #shopping, #wallyville

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is packing his things into a box. Wally holds a floorplan and says, "I'm in charge of the office relocation. Where do you want your cubicle?" Dilbert points to a spot on the map and says, "What's this huge structure?" Wally says, "Wallyville. It's two floors of luxury housing, shopping and gambling." Dilbert asks, "Do you think you might be abusing your power?" Wally asks, "What would be the other reasons to have power?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2013's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #work ethic, #mission, #vision, #core values, #no clear direction, #inappropriate websites

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Our mission, vision, strategy, road map, and core values are not aligned. So instead of flailing around with no clear direction, I plan to spend my days looking at inappropriate websites. Yesterday, when you said, "Bring me solutions, not problems," I hope you meant it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #schematic, #office politics, #ruin teds career, #say bad things, #rumor mill, #ted is history, #backfired, #tested, #phil quit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his desk drawing a map. He says, "I've created a schematic of office politics in my company." Dogbert says, "Nicely done." Dilbert says, "Let's say I want to ruin Ted's career." Dilbert continues, "I could say bad things to Tina about Ted. Tina carpools with Ming and Ming takes yoga classes with Carol." Dilbert continues, "And Carol is a secretary for Ted's boss. So Ted would be history." Dilbert continues, "Of course it wouldn't be ethical to test the system." Dogbert replies, "Unless..." Dogbert points to the map and continues, "..You use the Phil-Alice-Larry circuit to get Ted rehired." Dilbert replies, "Yup, yup." Dilbert concludes talking to Tina with, "...And that's why Ted is worthless." He pauses and then asks, "Hey, where's Phil today?" Tina replies, "He quit." Dilbert asks Dogbert at home, "Why do I listen to you?" Dogbert responds, "Because of a little thing I call charisma."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2000's comic on:


Tags #mapped genome, #hr dept, #had resources, #pencil, #technology, #predictions from genes, #genome, #dna, #work perfromance, #traits, #violation of rights

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert approaches Wally and says, "I mapped your genome Wally." Wally replies, "I didn't know the human resources department had that technology." Catbert responds, "I used a pencil." Wally says to Catbert, "Your genes predict that you will be a bitter, lazy, caucasian guy with six hairs and poor vision." Catbert answers, "You'll hate cubicles, measurable objectives, and cats who map your genome." Wally says to Catbert, "This is a violation of my right to privacy! I'll fight it all the way to the Supreme Court." Catbert responds, "No, according to my map, you'll lose interest and fall asleep." Catbert says to Wally as he sleeps, "I wonder if this technology will ever fall into the wrong hands."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #goals, #accomplishment, #consciousness, #death, #achievement, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have any long-term goals? Wally: Just death. Dilbert: Death isn't a goal. Wally: It's the best kind. This way, I can go out as a winner. With my last breath, I plan to do a fist pump and yell, "I did it!" What's your long-term plan? Dilbert: I plan to use brain imaging technology to map my mind. Then I'll create a digital copy of myself to live forever in a software simulation. Unless I already did. Wally: Give yourself a fist pump, just in case.

Dilbert Is Misinterpreted

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Is Misinterpreted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #assume, #assumption, #proof, #obstinacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Is it true you are telling everyone the new product road map is stupid? Dilbert: Um... nothing remotely like that has ever happened. Here's an email in which I say how good it is. Alice: You hesitated in your answer. That means you're lying. Dilbert: Read the email!!!