Monkeys Comic Strips - Page 2
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29 Results for Monkeys
View 11 - 20 results for monkeys comic strips. Discover the best "Monkeys" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 04,
2001
Tags software expenses, marketing software expenses, monkeys, wear watches, boss asks, budget, costs, expenses
Transcript
The Boss sees Alice at her desk and asks, "Why are our software expenses higher than marketing's software expenses?" Alice replies, "For the same reason monkey's don't wear watches." Caption reads: "One hour later." The Boss returns and asks, "Does it involve fur in any way?"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday November 30,
2001
Tags think aloud, cost, monkeys, swallow tongue, distarctions, stream of consciousness
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Okay, let me think aloud for a minute." The Boss continues, "The cost will be $3,000... losing focus... monkeys are funny... my tongue is digesting in my mouth." The Boss concludes, "That didn't help as much as I had hoped."
Tuesday July 02,
2002
Tags exclusive cable contarct, monkey, monkeys version, procurement manager, rope as electric, rope vendor, animals
Transcript
Dilbert points to a slide and says, "My technology test was a huge failure because I had to use a rope as my electronic cable." Dilbert continues, "Our procurement manager is a monkey who signed an exclusive cable contract with a rope vendor." The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'd rather not take sides until I hear the monkey's version."
Friday June 13,
2003
Tags homemaking skills, marry a man, garbageman, present value cash flow, comparison, trained monkeys, monkey surplus, bobby upset
Transcript
Alice is walking outside, she approaches The Garbageman and asks, "Would it be wrong to marry a man for his homemaking skills?" The Garbageman replies, "Do a present-value cash-flow comparison of marriage versus the equivalent service from trained monkeys." Bobby is sobbing. Alice consoles him, "It's not you.. it's me... and a world wide oversupply of monkeys."
Wednesday July 27,
2005
Tags forgetting things, hospital, odctors, exam room, monkeys brain, replace brain, medical
Transcript
"I keep forgetting where I put things." "The problem is that you're stupid." "I recommend replacing your brain with a monkey brain." "Will that help?" "No, I just hate monkeys."
Thursday February 15,
2007
Tags project coming, pile of failure, 15 drunken monkeys, jigsaw puzzle
Transcript
Wally: How's your project coming along? Dilbert: It's a streaming pile of failure. Dilbert: It's like fifteen drunken monkeys with a jigsaw puzzle." The Boss: How's your project coming along?" Dilbert: Fine.
Thursday February 14,
2008
Tags hurl software, phase one, server, unplug server, virtualization project, team of monkeys
Transcript
Dogbert: There's no need to worry about the server virtualization project. In phase one a team of blind monkeys will unplug unnecessary servers. In phase two, the monkeys will hurl software at whatever is left. Voila!"
Sunday February 03,
2008
Tags depressed, dilbert and mother, disengaged with son, engage, incompetence, life is a joke, monkeys, talk, work, no punchline, lifeguards
Transcript
Dilmom: How is work Dilbert? Dilbert: Well, mom...I'm like a fly stuck in a thick tar of despair. Incompetence hangs in the air like the cold stench of death. I'm drowning, and monkeys dressed as lifeguards are throwing me anvils. My job has convinced me that life is a stale joke with no punch line. I long for the comfort of the grave. Dilmom: Next time just say 'it's fine. Dilbert: I enjoy our talks. Dilmom: It's fine.
Sunday December 30,
2001
Tags hand writing, answer questions, return calls, i'll be away, bad odor, windy, phantom, monkeys, duct tape
Transcript
The Boss pops into Dilbert's cubicle and hands him a piece of paper. The Boss says, "Dilbert, take care of this. It's urgent." Dilbert responds, "I can't read your handwriting. What does it say?" The Boss responds, "I don't have time to answer your questions." The Boss continues, "Don't try to call me. I don't return calls." The Boss continues, "If you come to my office I'll be away." Headline: And then, like a bad odor on a windy day, the phantom manager vanished." Dilbert gives the note to Carol. She says, "I think it says, 'Floog smort olak munta hawthnort." Dilbert asks, "What does it mean?" Carol responds, "I think it involves monkeys and duct tape."
Monday June 04,
2012
Tags monkeys, big picture, motivated, monkey, assignment, eating banana, imitating monkey, animals
Transcript
Dilbert: I would feel more motivated if I knew how my assignment fits into the big picture. Boss: You don't need to be motivated. A monkey could do your assignment while eating a banana. Like this. Ooh-ooh-ooh! Dilbert: I think we're moving in the wrong direction.
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