More Experience Then Boss Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for More Experience Then Boss

View 11 - 20 results for more experience then boss comic strips. Discover the best "More Experience Then Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

Mumble Ventriloquists

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mumble Ventriloquists - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #boss, #meetings, #office workers, #sarcasm, #dumb

View Transcript

Transcript

Voice: That is a dumb idea, you pointy-haired fool. Boss: Who mumbled that? I can't tell with your face masks. Voice: Meetings just got a lot more fun. Boss: Who is saying that???

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #writing, #writing materials, #executive leadership, #money good, #pie chart, #kitten

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you word that more simply? I need to explain it to the executive leadership. Alice: Money be god. This make more. Oogah! Boss: That was uncalled for? Alice: I can replace the pie chart with a kitten.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cublicle, #hours worked, #judgement, #long term projects, #near term deliverables, #negotiate, #output, #work ethic, #work from home, #holy grail

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I would like to be evaluated on my output, not the hours I work. Boss: Okay. That sounds reasonable. Wally: It does? Wow. And I'd also like to work at home where there are fewer distractions so I can be more productive. Boss: Okay. That makes sense. Wally: Really? I mean... great! I'd also like to work on long-term projects that have no near-term deliverables. Holy grail, holy grail, holy grail. Boss: Go back to your cubicle and don't leave until five o'clock. Wally: I was this close to retiring at full pay.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telecommunication lines, #work ethic, #studies show, #telecommunters, #survey people, #lying weasles, #level of awareness

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You should let me work at home a few days per week because studies show that telecommuters put in more hours. Boss: How do they study that sort of thing? Wally: They survey people who work at home. Boss: What if those people are lying weasels? Wally: I wasn't counting on this level of awareness.

Robot Learns To Procreate

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Learns To Procreate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #mind control, #thinking, #life, #creation, #conscience, #sentience, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I figured out how to procreate. Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Robot: I infected you with an idea virus that tells you to build more robots. Boss: Won't work. CEO: Does anyone have an idea for increasing efficiency in our manufacturing process?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #workload, #stress, #counseling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have too much work, and it's stressing me out. Boss: I've been reading about this sort of situation. Try writing don all the things that make you feel grateful. Dilbert: That would be more work! Boss: For your anger issues, try keeping a journal of all the times you lose your temper. Dilbert: That would be more work! Has anyone ever taken your advice? Boss: Do you know the guy in Marketing with the eye patch? Dilbert: He followed your advice? Boss: Half of it.

Wally Waits For Information

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Waits For Information - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #procrastination, #laziness, #work ethic, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Should I start working on my project now or wait until I have more information. Boss: When you put it that way, I guess you should wait. Dilbert: Isn't there always "more" information to be had? Wally: Don't ruin this for me.

Already Tried That Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Already Tried That Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disagreement, #argument, #opposites, #conflict

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We tried that plan already and it didn't work. Boss: Stop living in the past. Dilbert: Stop refusing to learn from experience. Boss: Wait... why do we both sound right? Dilbert; I don't know. It's freaking me out a little.

Master Engineer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Master Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #Promotion, #master, #senior, #engineer, #more, #pay, #platinum, #optimism

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm promoting you to the position of "master engineer." dilbert: i'm already senior engineer. boss: now you're a master engineer. with all the rights and responsibilities that come with it. dilbert: such as...? boss: well, for example, you can do more kinds of work. dilbert: for more pay? boss: no. no. no! you're thinking of "platinum level" engineers. you're not on of those. dilbert: that comes next?! boss: optimism is not an attractive quality.

Becoming Golem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Becoming Golem   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #creature, #cynical, #doom, #experience, #face mask, #golem, #jaded, #lord of the rings, #office workers, #work, #coffee, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: i've noticed that the more experience i gain, the more cynical and jaded i become. am i doomed to become a golem-like creature with a bad attitude if i work here long enough? no offense. Wally: none taken.