Motion Detector Comic Strips - Page 2
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View 11 - 20 results for motion detector comic strips. Discover the best "Motion Detector" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I discovered a new tool for meeting women." Dogbert asks, "A metal detector?" Dilbert says, "Exactly, I'll be nonchalantly using it in the park . . ." Dogbert asks, "And you'll find buried women who have metal plates in their heads?" Dilbert replies, "Don't be ridiculous. The odds of finding a live one are about a jillion to one." Dilbert says, "No, I plan to appeal to women's natural scientific curiosity." Dilbert continues, "They'll stike up conversations about how the metal detector works . . . And where they can buy one." Dilbert continues, "Ooh, I'd better bring a note pad to write down all the phone numbers." Dogbert says, "On one paw, I want to help him. On the other paw, maybe it's better if he doesn't ever reproduce."
Ratbert: What is reality, mister garbage man? Garbage man: are you sure you're ready for that, Ratbert? Ratbert: My mind is a blank slate! Garbageman: Okay...time and motion are just illusions created by your inability to perceive everything at once. Everything that is possible as a path you simply choose the path you wish to perceive. Th only things you can't change are the experiences you've already perceived. Ratbert: My head hurts. Garbageman: The contents of a garbage can are determined by what path I choose to perceive, not by what somebody else chose to discard. Ratbert: Brain overload! Hey theres a new VCR in here! Garbageman: Cmon, Im expecting some great videos in the Obriens can.
Wally is walking down the hallway with a metal detector. Alice asks him, "Wally, what do you expect to find here with a metal detector?" Wally responds, "My first choice is some sort of priceless treasure. But I wouldn't say no to a bottle cap." Alice leaves and Wally thinks to himself, "I finally find my calling in life and I waste all day explaining it."
The Boss: Kudos to Ted for his suggestion to put motion sensors on the lights in the break room. Dilbert: Hold it! I calculate that the energy savings are offset by the lost productivity of the meeting. The Boss: We have to burn the plaque for heat just to break even.
Man says, "I could've e-mailed you my powerpoint deck, and you could have read it in five minutes." Man says, "But I prefer making you sit here for an hour while I read each bullet point in slow motion." Man says, "P-o-i-n-t n-u-m-b-e-r o-n-e?" Wally says, "Yank this as hard as you can."
Tags #performance review, #meetings, #too negative, #poo posed ideas, #cold fusion, #perpetual motion, #clothes dryer, #antigravity pants, #mri vending machine, #terrible ideas, #negative attitude, #tongue scraper
"Performance review" "People say you're too negative in meetings." "Negative? When?" "According to the marketing department, you poo-pooed a number of their ideas..." "...The cold fusion scooter, perpetual motion clothes dryer, antigravity pants, MRI vending machine, and the list goes on." "Those are terrible ideas!" "Negative attitude!!! Gottcha!!!" "Okay, you're right. From now on, I will support all terrible ideas." "Good." "It's a tongue scraper and a frozen flagpole!" "Can it be electrified?"
A man stands at a podium and a witch sits next to him on the stage. Dilbert sits in the audience. The man says, "Welcome to another meeting of the 'Skeptics Society.'" The man continues, "Tonight we will use scientific methods to debunk Edna Griffin's claim that she can turn an audience into a flock of chickens. We'll need some volunteers . . ." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Motion to adjourn . . ." The man next to Dilbert looks at his watch and says, "Whoa, look at the time!"
An executive says, "The motion is approved. Dogbert is our new company president because he has the best hair." Dogbert says to a man who follows him taking notes, ". . . Bulldoze the employee cafeteria and put in my helicopter pad . . . And I need a few office improvements . . ." Dogbert points to the floor in front of his desk and says to the assistant, "We need a trap door here, but it won't be funny unless you can give me some 'flushing' sounds."
"I hear you need a carpool urgently." "No, I need 'carpal tunnel surgery'." "The repetitive motion of typing has caused permanent damage. I have to wear braces until the surgery." "There's no room in my carpool."
Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert and executives sitting at a table. Dogbert says, "I make a motion that the board of directors double my pay." Dogbert continues, "All in favor, bleat like sheep." Dilbert and Wally stand outside the conference room and bear "BA-A-A" sounds eminating from the room. Wally says, "I think we're missing a check or a balance somewhere."