Motivate Comic Strips - Page 2
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27 Results for Motivate
View 11 - 20 results for motivate comic strips. Discover the best "Motivate" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 20,
2010
Tags #meeting, #boss, #angry, #annoyed, #motivate, #fail, #read face, #wave hand, #business
Transcript
Wally says, "Once again, you have failed to motivate me." Wally says, "You said we shouldn't be motivated by money, so I'm waiting for the new thing to kick in." Wally says, "I'm not good at reading faces, but I think there's something happening over in this region."
Wednesday February 02,
2011
Tags #golf, #managers & supervisors, #rich people, #sense of passion, #feel different, #Sports, #business
Transcript
The Boss: The experts say Is house motivate you by displaying my own sense of passion and purpose. I love getting rich at your expense....and golfing!!! Do you feel and different? Dilbert: Yup.
Sunday March 08,
1998
Tags #measurable objective, #technical writer, #measure good writing, #number of words, #compare projects to wood, #dogmatic babbling manager, #cognitive surrender
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk. He says, "Tina, we need to set measurable objectives for you." Tina responds, "I'm a technical writer. How can you measure good writing?" The Boss says, "Everything is measurable is you try hard enough." Tina asks, "Is that your well-measured opinion?" She continues, "Or is it the dogmatic babbling of a manager in total cognitive surrender?" The Boss comes back with, "For example, we could measure the number of words you type." He adds, "We'll have to subtract words you delete. That way we won't motivate the wrong behavior." Tina is now at her desk, typing. She has written, "In this edition of Tina's hourly newsletter, I compare our projects to various types of wood."
Friday October 22,
1999
Tags #motivating you, #great job, #golfing day, #cow owkrers, #pay cut
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "I decided to try to motivate you." The Boss says, "...If you do a great job, you get to go on a golfing day with co-workers." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Can I take a pay cut instead." Wally thinks, "ZZZZ"
Tuesday December 16,
2003
Tags #engineers, #jobs, #want job your job, #falling out of trees, #dime a dozen, #intimidation, #job on line, #idle threats
Transcript
The Boss: The woods are full of people who want your job. These days you can't shake a tree without three or four engineers falling out. Id love to stay and chat but I need to go motivate the other headcounts.
Wednesday March 24,
2004
Tags #career day, #container, #cubicle, #bleak oppressiveness, #warp spine, #feel joy, #bochure, #kids school
Transcript
Career Day "When you grow up you'll be put in a container called a cubicle." "The bleak oppressiveness will warp your spine and destroy your capacity to feel joy." "Luckily, you'll have a boss like me to motivate you with something called fear." "May I see a brochure?"
Saturday August 07,
2004
Tags #100 companies, #additional money, #happy to work, #fortune magazine
Transcript
The Boss: "Our corporate goal is to become one of Fortune magazine's top 100 companies to work for!" The boss: "We hope to do it without giving you any additional money, benefits or freedom." Wally: "Then how could you possibly motivate us to say we're happy to work … uh-oh."
Sunday August 19,
2012
Tags #absent mindedness, #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #entrpenuer, #bullying, #lying, #manipulation, #verbal abuse, #huge jerk, #biograophy, #business
Transcript
Dogbert: You need to act more like an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs make decisions that will end in failure 90% of the time. They motivate people through bullying, lying, manipulation and verbal abuse. Entrepreneurs make their employees work so many hours that their personal lives and their bodies fall apart. Boss: I've been doing all that stuff for years. Dogbert: Has it worked? Boss: No. Dogbert: Well, in that case, you're not an entrepreneur. You're just a huge jerk. Boss: Is that why no one is writing my biography?
Sunday July 18,
2004
Tags #berating, #humilation, #importance of work, #making sound rate products, #motivate staff, #no prasie, #no raises, #threats belittling, #trophy wives
Transcript
The boss; I need help motivating the staff. Catbert: what have you already tried? The Boss: Threats, belittling, humiliation, empty promises, berating, slogans , posters and bullying. Catbert: hmmm...we can't praise them or they'd as for raises. Catbert: Maybe they can be motivated by the importance of their work. The boss: their work is making second rate products to sell to idiots so our executives can afford trophy wives. Catbert: have you tried yelling until your face turns purple? The boss> make three copies, please!!!! Carol: This is new.
Wednesday August 12,
2015
Tell Everyone You Are Writing A Novel
Tags #writer, #reputation, #writing, #novel, #peer pressure, #motivation, #frustration, #writers block
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm telling everyone I'm writing a novel. That way I can leverage the invisible hand of social influence to motivate me for the next year. Alice: Have you written anything yet? Dilbert: Stop badgering me!!!
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