Not Nice To Meet Comic Strips - Page 2
295 Results for Not Nice To Meet
View 11 - 20 results for not nice to meet comic strips. Discover the best "Not Nice To Meet" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share June 06, 1996's comic on:
Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table with a vendor. Wally says, "You must do our bidding, Vendor. We control your economic future." Dilbert says, "Of course, our buying decision will be based solely on quantifiable performance measurements." Dilbert stands at the end of the table holding a hoop. The salesperson is on his hands and knees on the table. Dilbert says, "Your competitor completed the 'Vendor Challenge Course' in 37 seconds." Wally adds, "And he gave us VERY nice t-shirts."
Share December 10, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a desk wearing a sorcerer's hat. He tells the Boss, "Let me do the talking when we meet with your boss." Dogbert says to a woman behind a desk, "As you know, any idea from the pointy-haired wonder is crud, but when you add my ability, what do you have?" The woman asks, "Crudability?" Dogbert says, "And good looks too!"
Share February 25, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert tells the Boss, "I'm totally frazzled. There simply isn't enough time in the day to meet my upcoming deadlines." Dilbert's hair and clothes are disheveled. The Boss says, "Let's have an all-day meeting off-site so I can explain why the deadlines are so important." Dilbert says, "So, your theory is that I'll have more time in the day if you explain something I already know?" The Boss replies, "I don't have a lot of tools here."
Share August 20, 1997's comic on:
Recruiting on Campus A jock reaches out to shake Dilbert hand. Dilbert says, "Nice to meet you..." The jock crushes Dilbert hand. Dilbert screams. The jock gives Dilbert a wedgie and says, "I have to be honest; your company isn't my fist choice."
Share August 29, 1997's comic on:
Dobert and Wally stand looking through a window in a door. Books are stacked on the other side. Dogbert says, "The software manuals are locked in this room." Dogbert continues, "I don't let users have manuals, for reasons that could only be described as mean-spirited." Wally presses himself against the glass and says, "Is there any way we can meet half-way on this?" Dogbert says, "Hey, that door didn't always have a window."
Share September 27, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss walks up behind him and says, "We have to improve our image in the Internet community." Dilbert says, "Let's do a mass unsolicited e-mail campaign to tell people how nice we are." Dilbert comes home and looks very angry. Dogbert says, "You have the look of a man who was just put in charge of implementing his own sarcastic suggestion."
Share December 19, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of a room full of angry people. The people shout, "We hate your plan!!!" Dilbert stands next to the overhead projector an points to the wall onto which "Real Plan" has been projected. Dilbert says, "Good, because the REAL plan is the opposite of what I just showed you." The people remain with their mouths wide open. Dilbert holds a worm. Dilbert says, "Who wants a nice worm?"
Share June 04, 1995's comic on:
Wally and Dilbert at a conference table with a vendor. Dilbert looks at a product and says, "Your company makes an attractive little product, Jim." Dilbert hands the unit back to Jim. Dilbert says, "But we've decided to go with a vendor whose product actually works." Jim stands up suddenly, causing Dilbert's tie to fly straight up. Jim screams, "Fools!!! I'll crush you!!!" Jim continues, "I'll tell your boss you made a stupid decision!! Your careers will be ruined and I'll get the contract anyway!!" Wally says, "You can't scare us! Do you think our boss will believe a vendor over his own loyal employees?" Wally and Dilbert cross their arms and think, "Must . . . keep . . . a . . . straight . . . face . . ." Wally, Dilbert and Jim erupt in laughter. Dilbert says, "We'll take a million units." Jim says, "Take two million and I'll see that you get nice raises."
Share May 27, 1999's comic on:
The male office rebel with the spiked hair extends shakes Dilbert's hand and says, "You must be the new office rebel we heard about. Nice bathrobe." The other pierced male rebel says, "We're called rebels because we're easily manipulated into doing stupid things." Spiked hair rebel raises the roof and says, "Give it up fpr us! Whoo whoo!" Dilbert says, "I dare you to use branding irons on each other right now." Spiked haired says, "Start the fire!"
Share June 07, 1999's comic on:
Wwally stands behind Alice's desk. Alice says, "I can't talk now, Wally. I'm rushing to meet my deadline." Wally says, "Sounds like poor planning. Why must I suffer?" Wally says, "Do you mind if I stay here and think up new nicknames for coffee? Java wava... bean brew.."