Nuclear Arsenal Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

28 Results for Nuclear Arsenal

View 11 - 20 results for nuclear arsenal comic strips. Discover the best "Nuclear Arsenal" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chosen to design, #worlds safest nuclear plant, #great assignment, #safe, #not near my house

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, you have been chosen to design the world's safest nuclear power plant." Dilbert replies, "This is the greatest assignment that any engineer could hope for. I'm flattered by the trust you have in me." The Boss responds, "By 'safe' I mean 'not near my house.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #totally safe, #nuclear power plant, #elbonia, #slacve labor, #woo-hoo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Wally and Asok, "Our assignment is to design a totally safe nuclear power plant." Wally responds, "Let's put it in Elbonia. That seems safe to me." An Elbonian says to another, "Our offer of cheerful slave labor paid off!" The other responds, "Woo-Hoo!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nuclear power plant, #our process, #gather customer requirements, #free electricity, #mutating, #xray vision

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Wally and Asok, "None of us has designed a nuclear power plant before but we can figure it out by using our process." Dilbert continues, "In phase one we will gather customer requirements." Asok is meeting with a customer. Asok says, "So.. you want free electricity without mutating, unless the mutation gives you X-Ray vision." The customer responds, "Yep."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia, #oversee construction, #nuclear power plant, #first order, #uranium, #director of security

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert says to two Elbonians, "I'm here to oversee the construction of the nuclear power plant." Dilbert continues, "The first order of business is security for the uranium." An Elbonian responds, "A pig ate it." Dilbert exclaims, "What?! I demand to see your director of security!" The Elbonian answers, "You'll have to wait; the pig ate him too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonians, #classified ad, #nuclear war head, #russian craftsmanship, #third world countries, #slingshot, #hundred yards

View Transcript

Transcript

Two Elbonians show up at Dilbert's house door. Dogbert opens. An Elbonian says, "We saw your classified ad for a nuclear warhead." Dogbert says, "It's genuine Russian craftsmanship, ideal for menacing other third-world countries." An Elbonian responds, "Sweet." An Elbonian holds the warhead and says, "Our slingshot can fling this a hundred yards. Is that enough?" Dogbert looks at their briefcase full of money and says, "That's plenty."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia, #nuclear power, #warhead, #enemies, #kneebonia, #match

View Transcript

Transcript

A newscaster on television says, "The impoverished nation of Elbonia became a nuclear power today." Dilbert pours coffee and watches the news. The newscaster continues, "They plan to test their one and only warhead to frighten their enemies in Kneebonia." Two Elbonians are carrying the warhead. One Elbonian says, "I'M not going to ask him for a match. YOU ask him!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone network, #illegal compnent, #bribe, #nuclear weapon, #add flavor

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your bid to build our cell phone network is the lowest by far." "But I'd feel more comfortable if it had an illegal component." "Like a bribe? Or helping you build a nuclear weapon?" "Yes, just something to add flavor."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #must bride, #elbonians, #nuclear weapon, #microwave instead, #persian rugs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The Elbonians won't do business with my company unless we bribe them. Dogbert: offer to give them plans for building a nuclear weapon, Then give them plans to build microwave ovens instead. Dilbert: would that work? Dogbert: why do you think our garage is full of persona rugs?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia bid, #nuclear war head, #plans, #internet, #few things modified, #ginat toaster, #enriched bread, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

"We won the Elbonia bid, but I had to promise we'd give them plans to build a nuclear warhead." "Don't worry. I got the plans off the Internet and I modified a few things." "Now all we need is some highly enriched bread."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #nuclear rocket, #engineers, #blast astroid, #collsion, #approved corporate font, #launch window, #moon

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our engineers built a nuclear rocket to blast an incoming asteroid out of its collision course with Earth. But we didn't use the approved corporate font on the nose cone and we missed the launch window trying to erase it. Now what are we going to do with a nuclear rocket? CEO: Well, the moon has always been a jerk.