One Kiss Comic Strips - Page 2

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1000 Results for One Kiss

View 11 - 20 results for one kiss comic strips. Discover the best "One Kiss" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #employees, #ignorance (knowledge), #fire wally, #can't risk, #zeberpupin system, #only one, #program, #business

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Boss: I want to fire Wally, but I can't risk it. He says he's the only one who can program the Zeberpupin System. Catbert: Are you sure that's true? Boss: It must be. No one else has even heard of it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2012's comic on:


Tags #apology, #bald, #business ethics, #company lawyer, #discrimination, #lawyers, #nearsighted, #one billion, #short, #statue

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Lawyer: I've been asked to settle your claim of discrimination against the company. Your complaint is that they discriminate against you for being short, bald, and nearsighted. I might have a conflict of interest, but my final offer is one billion dollars. Wally: Plus a statue and an apology. Company lawyer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #salutations, #sven, #elbonia, #handshake, #kiss mitten, #greetings, #foreigner

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Wally: This is Sven, our biggest customer from Elbonia. Whoa! No handshake. That's an insult. The first time you meed an Elbonian you kiss his mitten. Elbonian: Seriously? Wally: Oh, we're just getting started.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #confusing, #multiple pages, #public speaking, #real words, #small text, #unpersuasive, #computer, #desk, #no one can read, #technology

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Dilbert: Do you want me to put the chart on one page, which would make the text too small for you to see? Or do you prefer a multiple-page approach that is confusing and unpersuasive? Boss: It's probably better if no one can read it. Dilbert: I won't bother using real words.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #check, #computer, #reverse, #spell, #internet, #kiss, #dog, #prince, #lady di

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Dilbert the Frog says, "Dogbert, I need your help. Check my computer to see if there is any way to reverse the spell and make me human!" Dogbert stands on a book on a desk chair and looks at the computer. Dogbert thinks, "Hmm . . . 'The only way to reverse a frog spell is a kiss from a dog or a princess . . . '" Dilbert asks, "What'd it say?!!" Dogbert replies, "Gargle, you're gonna visit Lady Di."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #buckingham palace, #princess, #kiss, #frog, #witch's, #curse, #lady di, #hideous, #creatures, #awkward, #Family, #reunions

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Dogbert stands on a chair and Dogbert the Frog sits next to him. Dogbert says into the telephone, "Hello . . . Buckingham Palace? I was wondering if the Princess would be willing to kiss a frog and remove a witch's curse for us." Dogbert says into the phone, "Oh . . . Lady Di does not kiss hideous little creatures . . ." Dogbert says, "That must be mighty awkward at family reunions . . . Hello?" Dilbert covers his eyes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #dog, #pound, #one, #phone, #call, #big, #ball, #demolition, #company

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Dogbert stands in a cage thinking, "No stupid dog pound can hold me for long." Dogbert yells to the dog catcher, "Hey, screw! Don't I get one phone call?!" Dogbert whispers into the telephone, "Hello, is this the Big Ball Demolition Company? . . . Good, I have a rush job for you . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 1990's comic on:


Tags #therapy, #unethical, #Dilbert, #biological clock, #ugly, #one, #ticking, #away

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Dilbert lies on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. The therapist says, "Frankly, I'm tired of hearing your little problems . . ." The psychologist says, "I hate my job . . . I haven't had a decent date in a year . . . My biological clock is ticking away . . ." Dilbert asks, "Would it be unethical to date one of your patients?" The doctor replies, "Yes, especially an ugly one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #kiss, #question, #gracefully, #blind dating, #love, #dog, #animal behavior

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Judy, a dog in a dress, says to Dilbert, "I guess a good night kiss is out of the question." Dilbert throws a stick and says, "Fetch!" Judy turns to follow the stick. Dilbert leans against the door and says, "That ended more gracefully than most of my dates."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 1991's comic on:


Tags #news, #news reporter, #mysterious, #circles, #aliens, #crop circles, #crushed, #wheat, #starts, #one, #point, #outward, #formed, #around

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A television reporter holds a microphone and says, "I'm standing at the Wickford wheat fields outside of London, the site of mysterious giant circles, possibly caused by aliens." The reporter asks a man with a backpack, "How do you find these circles of crushed wheat?" The man answers, "My team of experts starts at one point and searches outward until . . ." The man looks behind him where a circle of people tramples the wheat field. He cries, "Good Lord! Another circle has formed around us!!"