One Objective Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for One Objective

View 11 - 20 results for one objective comic strips. Discover the best "One Objective" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confusing, multiple pages, public speaking, real words, small text, unpersuasive, computer, desk, no one can read, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you want me to put the chart on one page, which would make the text too small for you to see? Or do you prefer a multiple-page approach that is confusing and unpersuasive? Boss: It's probably better if no one can read it. Dilbert: I won't bother using real words.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, writing, affirmations, thoery, objective, achieved, garden, slug

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands at a desk writing on a piece of paper. Dilbert asks, "What's all the writing for?" Dogbert replies, "It's called 'affirmations.'" Dogbert explains, "The theory is that if you write down your objective fifteen times a day, the objective will be achieved, no matter how unlikely." Dilbert reads the affirmation and says, "But you've written 'Dilbert will be eaten by a garden slug.'" Dogbert replies, "It's all I could think of."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, dog, pound, one, phone, call, big, ball, demolition, company

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in a cage thinking, "No stupid dog pound can hold me for long." Dogbert yells to the dog catcher, "Hey, screw! Don't I get one phone call?!" Dogbert whispers into the telephone, "Hello, is this the Big Ball Demolition Company? . . . Good, I have a rush job for you . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags therapy, unethical, Dilbert, biological clock, ugly, one, ticking, away

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. The therapist says, "Frankly, I'm tired of hearing your little problems . . ." The psychologist says, "I hate my job . . . I haven't had a decent date in a year . . . My biological clock is ticking away . . ." Dilbert asks, "Would it be unethical to date one of your patients?" The doctor replies, "Yes, especially an ugly one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags news, news reporter, mysterious, circles, aliens, crop circles, crushed, wheat, starts, one, point, outward, formed, around

View Transcript

Transcript

A television reporter holds a microphone and says, "I'm standing at the Wickford wheat fields outside of London, the site of mysterious giant circles, possibly caused by aliens." The reporter asks a man with a backpack, "How do you find these circles of crushed wheat?" The man answers, "My team of experts starts at one point and searches outward until . . ." The man looks behind him where a circle of people tramples the wheat field. He cries, "Good Lord! Another circle has formed around us!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, one, ticket, slignshot, flight, elbonia, elbonian's, capital, class, coach, first, intentionally, fling, hard

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches the "Air Elbonia" counter and says to the clerk, "Give me one ticket for the slingshot flight to Elbonia's capital." The airline ticket agent asks, "Do you want first class or coach?" Dilbert asks, "What's the difference?" The clerk replies, "With first class we don't intentionally fling you toward something hard."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, can, one, believe, dog, industry, suppose, give, it, away

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "Ten dollars . . . It's my final offer." Dogbert says, "Okay, but you can only use one hand." Dilbert pats Dogbert on the head. Dilbert says as he hands Dogbert ten dollars, "I don't believe this is now standard in the dog industry." Dogbert replies, "Oh, right, I suppose the others give it away."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ratbert, Dogbert, writing, book, trapped, space, hole, day, one, editor

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on his pillow listening to the radio. Ratbert says, "I'm writing a book about being trapped in the space hole for three hundred thousand years." Ratbert writes, "Day one: I thought about cheese. Day two: see Day one. Day three; See day two . . ." Ratbert carries a stack of paper into the room and asks Dogbert, "Do you know a good editor?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, zimbu, creativity, test, humor, barrel, monkey, advantage, guillibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Zimbu compete for one job. The Boss: This next event tests your humor and creativity. The objective is to see how much fun you can have in the barrel. Who wants to go first? Dilbert: This is no fair. Zimbu is a monkey. He has an advantage.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags process engineering consultant, totally objective, dont care, right attitude, flowing robe, cherubs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "You should hire me as your process reengineering consultant." "I would be totally objective about what jobs to eliminate. Frankly, I don't care about anybody at your company!" Dilbert: "You've got the right attitude." Dogbert: "I think I'll wear a flowing robe and surround myself with cherubs."