One Person Comic Strips - Page 2

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View 11 - 20 results for one person comic strips. Discover the best "One Person" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #earned, #enginner, #life isn't fair, #moving up, #office space, #private offcie, #Promotion, #complaints

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Catbert says to Dilbert, "The other engineers are complaining because you have a private office." Dilbert responds, "Maybe you should explain to each of them that life isn't fair." Dilbert is back in his old cubicle. He thinks, "Yeah, I guess it IS easier to explain it to one person."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #hostile work environment, #continuous pressure, #work, #work and drink, #forty cups, #cutting back

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Wally enters The Boss' office and says, "You're creating a hostile work environment." Wally continues, "It's like there's continuous pressure to work." Wally shakes and exclaims, "But I'm only one person; I can't work and drink coffee!" The Boss replies, "I'm cutting you back to forty cups a day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #vacation, #yelling, #bad impression, #nothing right, #work to death, #late for interview

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The Boss: You're an hour late for a job interview. woman: You're working me to death! Im only one person! I need a vacation! The Boss: you're supposed to say that stuff after I are you. woman: OOO suddenly I can't do anything right?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2013's comic on:


Tags #fear, #inventions, #machine learning, #track customers, #machines take over, #annihilate all humans

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CEO: Our machine learning technology allows us to track customer preferences and use that knowledge to manipulate them. Dilbert: That seems like the step that happens right before the machines take over the earth and annihilate all humans. CEO: There's always one person in every crowd who says that. Dilbert: Not for much longer, apparently.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #small groups, #argue, #alone, #talk to self, #annoyed, #empty chairs, #business

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The Boss says, "We'll break into small groups to discuss options." Dilbert says, "Why? Do you think we'll be smarter when we're in small groups?" The Boss says, "That way everyone gets more time to talk." Dilbert says, "According to your theory, the ideal group size would be one person talking to himself." The Boss says, "No, you also need the knowledge and perspective that extra people bring." Dilbert says, "That would argue for larger groups, not smaller ones." The Boss says, "Fine! Just break into whatever size groups you think make sense." Dilbert says, "I like your style, Dilbert." Dilbert says, "Thank you for noticing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2010's comic on:


Tags #computer, #work, #progress, #software, #annoyed, #grit teeth, #drink coffee, #inspiration, #machine, #technology, #engineering

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The Boss says, "Wally, have you made any progress coding your module?" Wally says, "Progress is difficult to measure in the software realm." Wally says, "You could measure the lines of code I produce, but that would reward inefficiency." Wally says, "The art of this job is binding the rare moments of inspiration to knowledge and machines." Wally says, "In fact, just a minute ago I could feel the inspiration welling up inside me." Wally says, "But then you interrupted me with your naive question and the moment was lost." Wally says, "Maybe you should go back to your office and reflect on the damage you've done here today." Wally thinks, "There goes the one person who has less of a real job than I do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #new circuit design, #worse, #everyone says so, #not familiar, #spoke with people, #rumprs, #innuendo, #made up staory

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The Boss: "Everyone says your new circuit design is worse than the old one." Dilbert: "By 'everyone', do you mean you heard it from one person who doesn't like me, and isn't familiar with either design?" The Boss: "I also spoke to the people who heard it from that one person."

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Share November 23, 2003's comic on:


Tags #job applaicants, #new batch, #500 qualified people, #who wants job, #pummel each applicat, #very soft itmes, #harder materials, #sugar doughnut, #their attitudes, #upbeat

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CatBert: "The new batch of job applicants is more desperate than usual." "Excellent." The Boss: "Five hundred qualified people applied for this position." "Who wants this job the most?" "I plan to pummel each applicant with a variety of objects, beginning with very soft items." "Then I'll gradually move toward harder materials until only one person is left." "I'll begin with this soft sugar doughnut." "ZING. PIFF!" "Thank you." CAtBert: "How are theur attitudes?" "Refreshingly upbeat!"

Work Harder Than Others

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Work Harder Than Others - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2020's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #business, #employees, #managers, #work, #success

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boss: the only way to succeed in this company is by working harder than everyone else. alice: wouldn't that mean only one person in the company can be successful? boss: i might need to rethink my motivational messages. dilbert: maybe save those for your dumber employees.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 1997's comic on:


Tags #famous person, #sandra bullock, #kevin spacey, #eats bacon, #kevin who eats bacon, #one degree away, #close to fascinating

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Dilbert sits at his PC. Ratbert says, "Give me the name of any famous person." Dilbert says, "Sandra Bullock." Ratbert puts his hands to his temples, closes his eyes and thinks. He says, "Sandra Bullock was in a movie with Kevin Spacey... and Kevin Spacey eats bacon." Ratbert says, "See that? Everyone on Earth is only one degree from someone named Kevin who eats bacon!" Dilbert says, "That is SO close to being fascinating."