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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2011's comic on:


Tags #mobile (cell) phones, #surveillance, #security, #employee locator device, #smarthone, #questions, #text to yourself

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Boss: Security says your employee locator device isn't turned on. Dilbert: My what? Boss: I think you call it your smartphone. Dilbert: I might have some questions. Boss: Put them in a text to yourself. I'll read them later.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #competition (psychology), #tweaks to ideas, #fails, #claim credit, #many forms genius, #steaming an oval

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Boss: I made a few tweaks to your idea. Now if it fails it was your idea, and if it works I can claim credit. Boss: Genius comes in many forms. Dilbert: Such as steaming and oval?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #joking, #questioning, #feel free, #questions, #ghosts have clothes, #wedgie

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Boss: Are there any questions? Feel free to ask anything at all. Wally: Why do ghosts have clothes? Dilbert: If someone gives you a wedgie at the moment you die, will you have it for eternity?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #fighting, #fraternization, #virtual, #ignorant blob, #ugly wool suit, #suggestions, #form of questions

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Boss: Why don't you change this box to say "virtual"? Dilbert: Because I don't want it to look like it was written by an ignorant blob in an ugly wool suit. You probably shouldn't put your suggestions in the form of questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2012's comic on:


Tags #astronomy, #billions of planets, #scientists, #version of dilbert, #earth like, #many universes

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Computer: Scientists say there might be billions of planets like Earth. And we might be one of many universes. Dilbert: I wonder if there's a version of me out there who loves his job. Woman: What has three thumbs and wants a should massage? Dilbert: This guy! Meanwhile, on XPKQ-75

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #service monkey, #questions, #respect, #monkey, #power point slides, #animals

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Carl: Im Wally's service monkey, I'll be fielding any questions directed at wally. The Boss: With all due respect, a business meeting is no place for a monkey. Carl: With all due respect, that was a stronger argument before I saw your powerpoint slides.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #probing, #embarassing, #questions, #contemplating, #effects, #firecrackers, #investigative, #reporters, #wallace, #dog, #young man, #Kids, #interviews

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Dogbert follows a little boy, holds out a microphone and asks, "Excuse me, young man. May I ask you some probing and embarrassing questions?" Dogbert shakes the microphone in the boy's face and asks, "Is it true that you spend a great deal of time contemplating the effects of firecrackers on investigative reporters?!!" Smoke clouds rise from Dogbert's head and his fur is burned. Dogbert says, "I'll bet this hasn't happened to Mike Wallace even once."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #questions, #booking, #vacation, #money, #hole, #ground, #clyde, #exactly

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Dilbert stands in a hole and says to Dogbert, "I'll admit, I should have asked more questions before booking our vacation to Clyde Canyon." Dilbert continues, "But it's not as if we're just throwing our vacation money into a . . . a . . ." Dogbert says, "Hole in the ground?" Dilbert responds, "Exactly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #tabloid, #devoted, #lies, #impatience, #fools, #legendary, #choked, #man, #necktie, #stupid, #questions, #shoulder

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The caption says, "Dogbert starts a tabloid newspaper devoted to lies about himself." Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types. Dilbert asks, "Where do you get your ideas?" Dogbert types, "Dogbert's impatience with fools was legendary. He once choked a man by his necktie for asking stupid questions." Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder as Dogbert types, "It happened one day when the fool was reading over Dogbert's shoulder and got too close."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #questions, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #newsletter, #clueless, #people, #technical, #marvel, #desktop, #publishing, #immense, #wisdom

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Dogbert sits at a desk typing. Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder and asks, "What's this?" Dogbert replies, "I'm starting my own newsletter for clueless people." Dogbert continues, "Thanks to the technical marvel of desktop publishing, clueless people will now have the benefit of my immense wisdom." Dilbert asks, "How do you know who the clueless people are?" Dogbert replies, "They ask a lot of questions."