Optimist Half Full Comic Strips - Page 2
288 Results for Optimist Half Full
View 11 - 20 results for optimist half full comic strips. Discover the best "Optimist Half Full" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share September 03, 2011's comic on:
Lawyer: Our newest product infringes patents from Google, Apple, Microsoft, and Oracle. They've joined forces and hired NASA to nudge an asteroid toward our headquarters. Boss: I think we can win this. Lawyer: I wonder what the average life span of an optimist is.
Share September 12, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: We can manipulate the pointy-haired menace into picking the right plan by comparing it to the worst alternatives. Alice: But then we wouldn't get the full benefit of his wisdom. Dilbert: Is he behind me? Alice: It might be George Clooney. I can't tell them apart.
Share November 09, 2011's comic on:
Ted: Hey, Alice! Did you hear about my big promotion? Alice: Congratulations, Ted. I'm not jealous at all. Keep up the good work. Sorry about my face. I haven't mastered the art of full-body lying.
Share February 15, 2012's comic on:
Co-worker: I played golf at Pebble Beach over the weekend. Dilbert: I played that course on Xbox. Co-worker: That's totally different. Dilbert: I used a full spectrum lamp to simulate sunlight. Co-worker: I got fresh air! Dilbert: You should get a house that has windows. They're terrific.
Share May 21, 2012's comic on:
Tags #bluetooth, #bluetooth headset, #cyborg, #doctors, #ear, #full human, #happiness, #intraocular lenses, #inventions, #pill form, #powered by chemistry, #streaming video, #surgically enbed, #vision correction, #dentits, #special surgery, #psychology
Dilbert: I know I'd be happier as a cyborg than a full human. I want you to surgically embed a bluetooth headset in my ear, powered by my own body chemistry. And I'd like intra-ocular lenses with vision correction and streaming video over bluetooth. Doctor: Happiness only comes in pill form.
Share March 20, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert sits on the bed watching Dilbert tie his tie. The doorbell rings and Dogbert says, "Must be your blind date. I'll let her in." Dilbert asks, "How's she look?" Dogbert replies, "Well, you could say she's a full-bodied individual." Dilbert asks, "You mean she's a little overweight?" Dogbert replies, "I mean Sherpas have established a base camp on her ankles."
Share January 03, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert sits in a chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "Our town hasn't had a murder since 1957." The caption says, "Definition of an optimist." Dilbert thinks, "We're safe forever." The caption says, "Definition of a pessimist." Dogbert thinks, "We're due."
Share January 28, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert walks into "Jiffy Med Center" with a sore arm. The nurse says to Dilbert, "Do you want self service or the full service?" Dilbert answers, "Uh . . . full." Dilbert asks a man with a stethoscope, "What does full service include?" The man answers, "We squeegee your glasses and check under your shirt."
Share February 25, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert reads a document and says, "Dogbert, I sold the rights to my anti-gravity invention. I get to keep half of the 'net.'" Dilbert says, "I wonder what 'net' means." Dogbert responds, "Net is what you land in after you find out you get no money and jump off a ledge." Dilbert asks, "What if there is no net?" Dogbert replies, "It's gross."
Share July 17, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk and Ratbert sits on the desk. Ratbert says, "Sometimes I think I'm not reaching my full potential as a rat." Dilbert replies, "You're right. In the Middle Ages, disease-carrying rats wiped out half of the human population of Europe." Ratbert says, "I think I've got a little temperature. Feel my forehead." Dilbert says, "Face it, your glory days are past."