Outright Theft Comic Strips - Page 2

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19 Results for Outright Theft

View 11 - 19 results for outright theft comic strips. Discover the best "Outright Theft" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2010's comic on:


Tags #computer, #headset, #marketing research, #social security number, #bank pin, #maiden name, #poverty, #identity theft, #technology

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Dogbert says, "Hello, this is the Dogbert Market Research Company. May I ask you some totally harmless questions?" Dogbert says, "What is your social security number, bank pin number and mother's maiden name?" Dilbert says, "What exactly are you researching?" Dogbert says, "Poverty rates. I'm shooting for 100%."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2009's comic on:


Tags #stealing, #talking, #falling, #teamwork, #quick, #stunned, #shocked, #surprised, #economy

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The boss says, "Employee theft is on the rise because of the economy." Foop! Foop! The boss says, "They finally figured out how to work as a team."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #idea, #moving, #identity, #theft, #introduction

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The boss says, "We're moving our data center to Elbonia to save money." Dilbert says, "That seems a bit dangerous since every Elbonian is an identity thief." The Boss says, "What?" It seemed like an exaggeration, but it wasn't. Elbonian says ,"Hi, I'm old man Podemkin." Elbonian says, "I was him this morning!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2009's comic on:


Tags #lazy, #new employee, #youth, #argument, #violence, #pain, #victory

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Wally says, "And obviously I can't do anything until our floom vendor updates the glimrods." Man says, "I'll bitspew a protopatch to your glimrod array and you can get right to work." Sometimes a young engineer challenges the dominant work-avoider in the herd. Wally says, "Oh, really?" Wally says, "Too bad the router isn't configured to handle protopatch server traffic." Man says, "I'll remotely reconfigure the router to think the protopatch server is a hexadulian data compressor." Wally says, "If you do that, you'll crash the firewall and expose everyone at this table to identity theft!" Tina says, "Stop that! I have enough problems!" Punch! Wally says, "Never go network on me, kid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #wifi, #wi-fi, #internet, #coffee shop, #public, #privacy, #security, #technology, #cyber security, #password, #identity, #identity theft, #passwords

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Dilbert: Yay, you have wi-fi! Now I can drink overpriced coffee while strangers steal my passwords. The timing is sort of a coincidence. Because I was just wondering what would be the fastest way to lose everything I own. And this fixes one of my other big problems too... I always want to share my browser history with strangers, and now I can! By the way, I'm Dilbert. Elbonian: I was Gropnorb, but now I go by Fred. Dilbert: Did a guy named Fred use your wi-fi? Elbonian: Right after he under-tipped.

Boss Is Victim Of Identity Thief

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Boss Is Victim Of Identity Thief - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #identity theft, #impostor, #insult, #investment, #money, #stealing, #guest artist, #josh shipley

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Boss: An identity thief stole my identity and opened a brokerage account. Dilbert: How did they know he was an impostor? Did he make a smart investment? Boss: That isn't funny. Wally: Did the impostor have a sense of humor?

Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief

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Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #identity theft, #internet, #racism, #reputation, #guest artist, #joel friday, #technology

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Boss: They guy who stole my identity just sent me an email. He says, "Stop making racist comments on the internet. You're ruining my reputation." Ha! Take that! Carol: You always said it would pay off someday.

Porch Thief Is Neutralized

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Porch Thief Is Neutralized  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #violence, #retaliation, #delivery, #package, #stealing, #theft, #ring, #technology

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Alice: Uh-oh. My home security system is showing a thief stealing a package from my front door. Activating particle beam defense. The threat has been neutralized. Dilbert: When you say "neutralized," does that mean... Alice: Activating crime scene cleanup drone.

Tracking Employee Theft

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Tracking Employee Theft - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #data, #information, #spying, #privacy

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Carol: Someone stole my purse out of my cubicle. Catbert: No problem. We have security video nearly everywhere and we can track every phone that has our internal company app on it. Carol: That is mildly disturbing. Catbert: Here's a live feed of the perp in the third stall of the men's restroom.