Painfully Honest Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

81 Results for Painfully Honest

View 11 - 20 results for painfully honest comic strips. Discover the best "Painfully Honest" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #gap analysis, #honest, #two pointy hairs, #for department

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tells Wally: "I want you to perform a Gap Analysis for our department." He continues: "Be completely honest." Later, Wally reports: "The Gap is located between two pointy tufts of hair that move about the office."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #bucky the project manger, #assignment, #painfully difficult, #unnecessary, #complaining to boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Bucky approaches Dilbert, "I'm Bucky, the project manager." Handing Dilbert a piece of paper, Bucky says to him "Your assignment is painfully difficult and probably unnecessary." Bucky continues, "If you need me, I'll be complaining about you to your boss."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2001's comic on:


Tags #die from shame, #loss, #throw it, #window repair business, #honest vendor

View Transcript

Transcript

THE HONEST VENDOR: Dilbert looks at a new product. The vendor says, "Five minutes after you buy it you'll want to throw it through a window." The vendor says to Dilbert, "We sell these at a loss but we make it up with our window repair business." The plug falls off the product. Dilbert says, "It fell off." The vendor says, "Sometimes the components actually die from shame."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2001's comic on:


Tags #honest vendor, #not nice to meet, #weird, #spank hamster, #business is over reated, #repeat business

View Transcript

Transcript

THE HONEST VENDOR: Dilbert and the vendor reach to shake hands. The vendor says, "It wasn't nice to meet you." Shaking hands with Dilbert, the vendor says, "You didn't buy enough; I'll probably spank my hamster for no reason." The vendor thinks to himself, "Repeat business is over-rated."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #stock market expert, #microphone, #tail off camera, #makes me wag, #honest work

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert sits behind a desk in front of a camera. The cameraman hands him a microphone and says, "Clip this microphone to your fur. We're live in two." Dogbert responds, "Make sure my tail is off camera. I'll be recommending stocks I own and that sort of thing makes me wag." The cameraman thinks to himself, "Someday I gotta get honest work."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2002's comic on:


Tags #short timer, #retiring, #honest feedback, #doing nothing, #create the illusion, #fanatsize, #good enough

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: The Short-timer. The Boss says to the short-timer, "You're retiring soon, so you can give me honest feedback." The short-timer responds, "Wouldn't that be harder than doing absolutely nothing?" The short-timer continues, "How about if I create the illusion of listening while I fantasize about fishing?" The Boss responds, "Good enough."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2003's comic on:


Tags #100 hrs a week, #ask for raise, #top secret facilit, #super genius, #resume, #honest, #take one, #know one

View Transcript

Transcript

An interviewee says to The Boss, "If you hire me, I'll work a hundred hours a week and never ask for a raise!" The interviewee continues, "I went to school at a top-secret facility for super geniuses; that's why it's not on my resume." The Boss says to Catbert, "And I'm sure it's all true because he says he's honest!" Catbert replies, "Apparently it doesn't take one to know one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2005's comic on:


Tags #project post mortem, #colossal ineptitude, #natural talents, #unfocused honest

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "The project post-mortem will only be helpful if each of you is honest about what went wrong." "Your colossal ineptitude as a leader suppressed our natural talents, leaving us listless and unfocused." "And by 'honest', I mean blaming people who aren't here." "Look! You're doing it again!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #honest feedback, #strategy, #lie, #misperception, #hate people, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Alice, I called this meeting because you're the only person I trust to give me honest feedback on my strategy." Alice says, "It's great. It's amazing. It's the best strategy in the universe." The Boss says, "I thought you were honest." Alice says, "That's a common misperception. I just hate people."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #car rental, #reserve, #car insurance, #overpriced gas, #honest, #clown car, #ashtray

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I reserved a mid-sized sedan." Man says, "We don?t care what you reserved. We're in the business of selling car insurance and overpriced gas." Dilbert says, "That's refreshingly honest." Man says, "I can get you into a clown car or an ashtray on wheels."