Part Of Humanity Comic Strips - Page 2

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240 Results for Part Of Humanity

View 11 - 20 results for part of humanity comic strips. Discover the best "Part Of Humanity" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #transferred, #marketing, #barbeque, #unicorn, #rare, #best, #part

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Dilbert stands in a barbecue line holding a plate. The man in front of him says, "Every Tuesday we barbecue a unicorn." The man says, "Make mine rare. Ha ha! Get it? Rare?" Dilbert looks at the horn on his plate and thinks, "I'm not sure I believe this is the 'best part.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #engineering, #knowledge, #promote, #prima donna, #demonstrate, #personality, #dissorders, #mumble, #disdain, #humanity

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your engineering knowledge is good, but I can't promote you to 'prima donna.'" The Boss continues, ". . . Unless you demonstrate a few more serious personality disorders." Dilbert replies, "I can mumble." The Boss says, "Sure, but can you do it with disdain for all of humanity?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dweeb, #humanity, #tube, #sock, #inventors, #ambiguity, #good

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert says, "Be honest, Dogbert. Do you think I'm a gifted inventor . . ." Dilbert asks, ". . . Or just a pathetic dweeb who contributes nothing to humanity?" Dogbert says, "Well . . . Uh . . . I think . . ." Dogbert says, "In my mind, you are the 'tube sock of inventors.'" Dilbert says, "Really? Gosh . . . Thank you . . . Wait, that's good, right? Of course, it must be good." Dogbert says, "Ambiguity succeeds where honesty dares not venture."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #dinosaur, #fish, #with, #legs, #life, #form, #work, #hard, #part, #mate, #Kids, #mutants, #arm, #dangerfield

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Dogbert walks in the park. A fish with legs comes walking down the path. The fish says, "Howdy!" Dogbert says, "I've never seen a fish with legs." The fish explains, "I'm evolving into a higher life form." Dogbert says, "That sounds like a lot of work." The fish says, "Yeah . . . The hard part is finding a mate who isn't turned off by legs." The fish continues, "With any luck, the kids will be mutants too." The fish continues, "I'm hoping they'll have arms but not look too much like Rodney Dangerfield." The fish stands at the edge of a pond. He tells a female fish, "These legs are a natural advantage!" The female says, "Oh, that's original."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 1999's comic on:


Tags #reduce budget, #project is vital, #eliminate, #funny part

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The Boss says to Alice, who is seated in her cubicle, "Every department was asked how it could reduce its budget by ten percent." The Boss says, "Your project is vital to the future of the company, so I cleverly offered to eliminate it, knowing they couldn't accept." The Boss says, "Now this is the funny part..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dogcart consults, #e commerce sight, #well documented, #flying pigs, #coolest part

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Dogbert consults the Boss. Dogbert says, "My team can build an e-commerce site for you." Dogbert continues, "It will be so well-documented that your I.S. group can easily maintain it." The Boss gathers his employees as he explains, "But the coolest part is that the documentation will be delivered by flying pigs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2000's comic on:


Tags #part time work, #finish urgent projects, #pay cut, #come in on day off

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Noriko asks the Boss, "Would it be okay if I worked part-time?" The Boss answers, "That depends." The Boss continues, "Would you be willing to come in on your days off to finish urgent projects?" Noriko replies, "Yes." Dilbert asks Noriko during lunch, "So, basically you negotiated a fifty percent pay cut?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #efficient, #glass walled room, #name of case, #too unattractive, #tribunal of admin. assistants, #verdict, #humanity

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Carol says, "The tribunal of Admin Assistants will hear the case of..." Carol continues, "The man who is too unattractive to use the glass-walled conference room versus humanity." Dilbert exclaims, "You put the verdict in the name of the case!" Carol replies, "We're efficient."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #stupidity, #at eork, #anti stupid gun, #annihilates stupid part, #rest intect, #read directions

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Dilbert: There seems to be more stupidity than usual at work. Garbageman: Borrow my antisyupidius gun. It annihilates the stupid part of a person and leaves the rest intact. Dilbert: Cool Dilbert: I should have read the directions more carefully,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #the hindenburg, #famous cigar shaped ballon, #thank alice, #theme, #choosing, #planning, #event, #enjoy film, #hidenburg, #the humanity, #detonate

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The boss standsa at a podium dressed in a costume that includes a large blimp attached to his head. The boss says, "Welcome..." The boss says, "To our annual employee meeting." Dilbert, Alice and Wally dressed in casual clothes listen. The boss says, "Our theme this year is "The hindenburg." The boss says, "...which I'm told was a famous cigar shaped balloon." The boss says, "Let's all thank Alice for choosing the theme and planning the event. Wally and Dilbert clap. The boss says, "Now please enjoy this film clip of the Hindenberg" The boss watches shocked. From the TV, "AAAgh! The humanity!" Wally says, "He's coming for you. Detonate his costume." Alice who holds a radio control says, "One, two..."