Philosophy Os Useless Comic Strips - Page 2
150 Results for Philosophy Os Useless
View 11 - 20 results for philosophy os useless comic strips. Discover the best "Philosophy Os Useless" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share January 16, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert installs a stove while Dogbert watches. Dilbert says, "I'm installing a paper-burning stove to lower our heating bills." Dilbert says, "I'll fuel it with all the useless documents I get at work." At the office, the Boss sees Dilbert carrying a stack of papers and asks, "I've been noticing how much stuff you take home. You must love your work." Dilbert replies, "It gives me a warm feeling."
Share May 16, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of a the Vice President of Marketing's desk. The VP reads a document and says, "I could give you marketing's approval right now . . ." The VP continues, "Or I could flex my vice presidential power and send you to gather more useless data . . . My ego would expand and I'd be a major stallion with my wife tonight." The VP asks Dilbert, "Do you think you can top that?" Dilbert replies, "Ill try, sir. What's your wife's address?"
Share July 29, 1995's comic on:
Wally is in Bob the Dinosaur's office. Bob says, "I'm afraid the equipment you want is not on the approved equipment list." Bob continues, "Let me think . . . if I add this to the approved list, that's more work for ME . . . but if I say no, it's more work for YOU . . . hmm . . . think, think . . ." Wally says, "I'd like to see this alleged list." Bob replies, "Well, it's not so much a physical list as it is a philosophy."
Share August 21, 1995's comic on:
A female employee hands a document to Dilbert and says, "Your report was rejected by accounting." Dilbert asks, "Why?" The woman responds, "Because the emptiness of their shallow lives makes them want to hurt others in order to validate their pathetic existence." Dilbert asks the woman, "Can you help me clear this up?" She responds, "To be honest, I'm kinda buying in to their philosophy."
Share October 27, 1995's comic on:
A co-worker says to Dilbert, "Three other people asked for that same information. You must be on redundant projects." The man hands Dilbert a binder and says, "Here's a big binder which at first glance seems useful, but you'll realize later it's not." The man says, "I've got a few more useless binders. Do you want 'em?" Dilbert says, "Sure. I'm using them to build an addition to my cubicle."
Share February 11, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert stands at the front of the room giving a presentation. A man sitting at the conference table says, "Be candid, Dilbert. We have a corporate philosophy that says we 'don't shoot the messenger.'" Dilbert replies, "Good." Dilbert points to a diagram and says, "Had you consulted with the engineering department, you never would have launched such an ill-conceived product." Dilbert continues, "It is doomed to fail. You will all be humiliated and probably fired." A woman holding a rifle shouts, "Can't I just wing him?!!" A man says, "No, Eileen, that's not our philosophy." Dilbert arrives at home with tar and feathers on his body. He tells Dogbert, "It turns out the corporate philosophy is a very flexible document." Dogbert says, "You're getting tar on the carpet."
Share March 07, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert stands next to a table covered with a tablecloth. A computer monitor sits on the table. Dilbert says, "We had to cut some corners to get the demo ready this soon." Wally's head pops up into the monitor. Dilbert explains, "Wally is under the table. He'll pretend to be the 3-D interface that we could build if we weren't doing useless demos." The Boss says, "He's a little fuzzy. Can you adjust it?" Dilbert hands him an electric shaver and says, "Try the electric shaver."
Share September 07, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert sits on a desk. The Boss asks, "Can you program the routers to block employees from all fun Web sites?" Dogbert replies, "Why stop there? I can program the routers to block ALL useless activities." The Boss asks, "How long will that take?" Dogbert unplugs a cable and says, "Done. I've seen your business plan."
Share June 16, 1997's comic on:
Tina tells Dilbert and Wally, "I scheduled a two-hour T.H.N.P.L. meeting for seven o'clock on Friday night." Tina explains, "T.H.N.P.L stands for 'Tina has no personal life.' I'm scheduling useless meetings to fill the void in my life." Dilbert says, "Tina, this is insane." Tina asks, "Are you suggesting we have a meeting to discuss it? Is Saturday okay?"
Share April 14, 1998's comic on:
Alice tells Dilbert and Wally, "I'm glad he quit. He was such an obnoxious, useless co-worker." Dilbert says, "We had to be nice to him because we needed his cooperatin." Wally yells, "The jerk!" Wally complains, "He should check the expiration date on his cologne!" Ed angrily thinks, "Next time, I will not give two weeks' notice."