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26 Results for Pope Showed Up

View 11 - 20 results for pope showed up comic strips. Discover the best "Pope Showed Up" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #television, #budget, #education, #money, #percentage, #difference, #music, #safety, #law, #studies, #piano-related deaths, #lawmakers, #health risks, #watching, #scary, #shows

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Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. A newscaster says, "The budget for education was cut ten million dollars." Dogbert thinks, "Is that a big percentage? Does it make any difference?" The reporter says, "Congress considered a music safety law after studies showed a ten percent increase in piano-related deaths." Dogbert wonders, "How does that compare to other health risks? Should I be concerned?" The newscaster continues, "Lawmakers debated a bill to lower capital gains tax rates . . ." Dogbert thinks, "What do most economists think? Would it stimulate the economy much? Should I care?" The newscaster continues, "A new poll show that many voters have strong opinions on these issues despite the fact that we provide no useful contextual data." Dogbert walks away with his ears standing up. He thinks, "I've got to stop watching scary shows right before bedtime."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 1998's comic on:


Tags #hate your plan, #real plan, #opposite, #nice worm, #offers worms

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Dilbert stands in front of a room full of angry people. The people shout, "We hate your plan!!!" Dilbert stands next to the overhead projector an points to the wall onto which "Real Plan" has been projected. Dilbert says, "Good, because the REAL plan is the opposite of what I just showed you." The people remain with their mouths wide open. Dilbert holds a worm. Dilbert says, "Who wants a nice worm?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #early business trip, #won by default, #secretary uses office

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Wally is holding a cup and he says to the boss, who is walking holding a briefcase: "Look who's back early from his business trip. How did it go?" The boss answers: "Excellent! I won every meeting by default. The other side never showed up." Wally says to the boss: "Did you know your secretary uses your office when you're gone?" The boss answers: "For what?" Alice is in the boss's office getting a massage.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2004's comic on:


Tags #show one house, #lying real estate agent, #loser

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The real estate agent dogcart: if you don't buy the house I showed you someone else will. and every time it appreciates another million dollars you will cry out, "why was I so stupid?! why?! Why?!" And I'll be all, "Loser! LO-O-O - sir!" are you really not allowed to show me more than one house?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2007's comic on:


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"Carol, you showed up for work almost every day this week. Here are some 'morale dollars'." "It's not real money, but you can redeem it for gifts and services that you don't want or need." "I also entered you into a raffle that you didn't win." HONK!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #flipped out, #acts normal, #totally flipped, #punch her sane

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Tina: Dilbert totally flipped out when I showed him the cost estimates. Alice: "Really? Or is this one of those cases where someone acts normally and you inexplicably tell the world that they totally flipped out?" Tina: "Whoa! Don't flip out." Alice: "I wonder if I can punch her sane."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #heart attack, #bad boss, #swedish study, #fall over, #feet up, #dead, #surprise, #business

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Wally says, "A Swedish study in 2009 showed that people with bad bosses had 40% more heart attacks." Coworker says, "Aaak!!!" Wally says, "I should want you that I'll probably tell this story a few times."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2008's comic on:


Tags #80thousand, #forboding, #funny story, #paper, #print long document, #printer paper

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The Boss says, "Ted, I have a funny story for you!" Ted says,"Why am I filled with a sense of foreboding?" The Boss says, "So I was trying to print a long document, hee-hee!" The Boss says, "But when I went to the printer, the document wasn't there!" The Boss says, "For the next three days I kept trying and trying, but the document never showed up at the printer!" The Boss says, "It turns out I was checking the wrong printer. The right printer used $80,000 worth of paper that week." Ted says, "And how does this affect me?" The Boss says, "You and paper just became an either-or situation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2008's comic on:


Tags #after work, #bar, #date, #drink, #false sense, #group activity, #other people, #safety, #scam, #show up, #suspicious, #trick, #trust

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Dilbert says, "Some of us are going for a drink after work. Would you like to join us?" A woman says, "Nice try, but I know how this scam works." The woman says, "You're trying to lull me into a false sense of activity with a group activity." The woman says, "But we both know the other people will mysteriously never show up." The woman says, "Then it's just you and me on what looks like a date." Dilbert says, "How many people do I have to invite before you believe some of them will show up?" The woman says, "Well, given the disparity in our levels of attractiveness, I'd say thirty-five." Dilbert says, "Can do." The woman says, "Not one other person showed?" Dilbert says, "I only invited women who are more suspicious than you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2004's comic on:


Tags #enterprise software, #premium package, #friendly user, #economy option, #cheap one, #never had girlfreind, #adult website, #romantic invitations, #100 percent

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Our enterprise software comes in two flavors. The premium package boats a friendly user interface. The economy option does the same stuff but the interface is designed to ruin your life. we'll take the cheap one. I can tell by the ay you hold the mouse that you've never had a girlfriend. I'll send romantic invitations to al the pope on the email address list. Dont worry - i"lll us etc text that I would on a great adult website. when I said that you need to give a hundred percent I shut have been more specific.