Predetermined Answer Comic Strips - Page 2
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162 Results for Predetermined Answer
View 11 - 20 results for predetermined answer comic strips. Discover the best "Predetermined Answer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 23,
1995
Tags #filberts expense voucher, #idiots in accounting, #smart, #sadistic, #trolls, #humanoid characteristics, #right answer
Transcript
Dilbert is seated in front of a demonlike clerk. The clerk yells, "What are you trying to pull?? Do you think we're idiots in accounting?!!" Dilbert responds, "No, I swear, I think you're smart but sadistic trolls with many humanoid characteristics." Dilbert's hands and feet are bound and he is hanging upside down above a pit. He thinks to himself, "Apparently there was no right answer."
Sunday May 10,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #spaghetti, #cooked, #answer, #question, #chef, #wall, #stick, #strand, #hat, #wearing
Transcript
Dilbert stands at the stove wearing an apron and looking into a pot. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How can I tell when spaghetti is cooked?" Dogbert replies, "I'll have to wear the hat to answer that question." Dogbert walks back into the room wearing a chef's hat. Dogbert answers, "The spaghetti is done when you can throw it at the wall and make it stick." Dilbert thinks, "Seems odd . . . But he was wearing the hat." Dogbert hears, "Whap! Splash!" Dogbert says, "Preferably, one strand at a time."
Sunday December 13,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #people, #questions, #conversation, #story, #answer, #rhetorical, #intentionally, #cloud, #bunny, #why
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert walk in the park. Dilbert asks, "Have you noticed that people rarely answer questions in conversation?" Dogbert says, "That reminds me of a story. One day I . . ." Dilbert says, "See? There! You didn't answer my question!" Dilbert asks angrily, "Do you think my questions are meant to be merely rhetorical?" Dogbert says, "You sure get worked up over the strangest things." Dilbert asks, "Are you doing this intentionally?!! Why won't you answer my questions??!!" Dogbert points at the sky and says, "Hey! There's a cloud that looks like a bunny!" Dilbert falls over and twitches as he says, "Why? Why? Why?" Dogbert thinks, "It doesn't get any better than this."
Thursday January 16,
1997
Tags #answer this quiz, #bill gates, #towel boy, #humans are primates, #three monkeys, #stupid trick question
Transcript
Dilbert stands in a room filled with electronic equipment. A voice coming from a monitor says, "You have been chosen as Bill Gates' towel boy. But first you must answer this quiz." The voice continues, "You're in a room with three monkeys. One has a banana, one has a stick, one has nothing. Which primate is the smartest?" Dilbert says, "Um . . ." Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dogbert says, "I guess the successful towel boys know that humans are primates too." DIlbert says angrily, "Stupid trick question."
Thursday April 01,
1999
Tags #answer phone, #trick question, #meeting, #better get this, #phone rings, #ignores boss call, #business
Transcript
The boss comes up behind Wally who sits at his desk. The boss says, "Wally, I've been calling you for two hours! Why don't you answer your phone?" Wally says, "Is that a trick question?" The boss says, "Wally, unless your in a meeting.." The phone rings. Wally says, "Hold on. I'd better get this."
Monday May 21,
2001
Tags #vendor, #drinks, #answer questions, #works, #already wroking, #date, #private, #business, #confused, #misunderstanding
Transcript
Alice sits next to Dilbert and Wally at a conference table. She says, "I'm meeting a vendor for drinks tonight. He says it's the only time he has to answer my questions." Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "If that works, please let us know." Alice replies, "What do you mean 'works'? And who is 'us'?" Wally exclaims, "It's already working!"
Saturday April 27,
2002
Tags #management decision, #too distarcted, #make informed decison, #random, #no answer
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "...And that's why I need a management decision." The Boss says, "Hi, Bill!" Dilbert says, "But you are too distracted to make an informed decision, so this will be random." The Boss says, "Bob!" Dilbert says, "And here it comes." The Boss replies, "Would 'No' be an answer to anything you said?"
Friday August 22,
2003
Tags #disappointing people, #meeting start late, #answer is misleading, #deadline ignored, #work is shoddy, #empthy, #blocking view of wall
Transcript
Dilbert: "Lately, every person I deal with seems to disappoint me." Dilbert: "Every meeting starts late, every answer is misleading, every deadline is ignored, and all work is shoddily done." DIlbert: "I guess what I'm saying is that today I need some empathy." Dogbert: "You are totally blocking my view of the wall."
Monday September 13,
2004
Tags #daughter sneezed, #work from home, #answer boss phone, #phone messages aren't real, #bitung humor
Transcript
Carol: "My daughter sneezed so the school is sending her home." "I'll work from home for the rest of the day." The Boss: "How will you answer my phone?" Carol: "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but none of your phone messages are real."
Friday April 15,
2005
Tags #five star restaurant, #lunch, #food so good, #once in a lifetime, #not invited, #stay back, #answer phones
Transcript
The Boss: "Carol, I decided to take the entire staff out to a five-star restaurant for lunch." "The food is so good that it's almost intoxicating. When paired with the right wine, the experience is a once-in-a-life-time sensation." "While we're gone, you'll need to answer everyone's phone."