Search Results for "project meeting"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Notice: Too many results returned for your search. Displaying the first 1000 most relevant results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1997's comic on:


Tags #ask for one, #juggle mushrooms, #project review meeting, #trained bats, #five year budget forecast

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk and tells Dilbert, "You didn't give me your five-year budget forecast." Dilbert replies, "You didn't ask for one." The Boss says, "It was discussed at the project review meeting." Dilbert replies, "You didn't invite me to that meeting." The Boss asks, "Did you accomplish ANYTHING this week?" Dilbert answers, "I trained the bats who live in my cubicle to juggle mushrooms."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #project, #needs attention, #meeting, #helper for porject, #engineers, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally and Alice sit at the conference table. Wally says, "This project needs your complete attention." Alice says, "Wally's right. Forget the other projects and focus on that one." Wally, Alice and Dilbert eat lunch. Dilbert says, "Did I miss anything at the meeting?" Wally says, "We got you a little helper for your project."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1999's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #have a meeting, #project, #makes me unhappy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss satnds in Dilbert's cubicle. The boss says, "I'm off to a meeting about your projext. Is there anything I should know?" Dilbert says, "Yes. You should know how dumb it is to have a meeting about my project without inviting me." The boss walks away and thinks, "Every time I learn something it make me unhappy"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2002's comic on:


Tags #3 year anniversary, #first meeting, #project requirements, #probelm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert addresses a meeting, "Today is the three-year anniversary of our first meeting to discuss project requirements." Dilbert continues, "And we're still discussing requirements. Does anyone else see a problem here?" A coworker turns to Dilbert and says, "When you're done, can we talk about requirements?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #engineering decison, #project, #need to act, #fiber capacity, #serial input, #meeting, #communication problems, #table, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I needed to make an engineering decision about your project this morning." The Boss continues, "You'll need to act like you agree with it so I don't look stupid." Dilbert is at a meeting. A coworker turns to Dilbert and says, "Explain to us how fiber capacity can be increased by serial input at breakfast."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2003's comic on:


Tags #eating tongue, #flaming squirrels, #project, #sanity check, #meeting, #sanity for project, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

In a meeting, an employee turns to The Boss and says, "I called this meeting o do a sanity check on my project." The employee yells, "Flaming squirrels are eating my tongue!!!" The employee turns to Alice and asks, "What?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #project, #length, #add people, #months, #useless, #sit down, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "How long will your project take if I add two people?" Dilbert says, "Add one month for training, one month for the extra complexity, and one month to deal with their drama." The Boss says, "But after all of that?" Dilbert says, "They'll be as useful as this meeting."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2008's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #hr person, #evil director, #bad attitude, #project, #corpse of misery, #donated brain, #gum museum, #mental imbalance, #clarity, #irrational, #employee moral festival, #won meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: Your boss says you have a bad attitude. Dilbert: That's because my project is a flailing corpse of misery, and my boss donated his brain to a gum museum. If I had a good attitude in this situation, it would be a sign of a mental imbalance. My bad attitude is proof that I am thinking clearly. Are you going to compliment me on my clarity or demand I be irrational? CatBert: I'm putting you in charge of the employee morale festival. Dilbert: I have a sudden urge to grab you by the tail and beat myself to death. Catbert: That's how I know I won the meeting.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2005's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #project acorn cancelled, #attend meeting, #good questions, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"Can you come to a meeting at three?" "Why?" "I want to tell everyone that Project Acorn is canceled." "You just told me. So I don't need to go, right?" "You might have other questions." "But I don't." "Maybe someone at the meeting will ask a question that you didn't think of." "Should I attend every meeting in the world just in case someone asks a good question?" "Save that one for the meeting."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2003's comic on:


Tags #charging hours to project, #one meeting, #one hour, #extensive preparation, #evaluated, #57 hours, #sat quiet, #charging

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, why have you been charging all of your hours to my project?" "I invited you to one meeting. It lasted one hour." "Do you think I would go to a meeting without extensive preparation?" "Okay.. that's another hour." "How many more do you need explained?" "Fifty-eight." "After the meeting, I sat quietly and evaluated what everyone said. That took fity-seven hours." "Ha! You're still an hour short. Explain THAT!" "Do you mind if I sit quietly and think about that question for a while?"