Punish Engineers Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

241 Results for Punish Engineers

View 11 - 20 results for punish engineers comic strips. Discover the best "Punish Engineers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #budget, #last year objectives, #huge loss, #bottomline, #punish siuccess, #startegy, #management

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We've been asked to cut our budget by 30%. Dilbert: That doesn't make sense. We met all of our objectives last year. Boss: A different part of our company had a huge loss. Dilbert: Shouldn't you cut their budget, not ours? Boss: Their budget isn't big enough to make a difference to the bottom line. Dilbert: So our strategy is to punish success, and reward failure? Boss: Just do your job and leave the strategy to management. Dilbert: Hypothetically, if I do my job poorly, would that be good or bad for me?

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #socks, #computer, #greek, #tragedy, #shoes, #engineers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types, "To his horror, Dilbert discovers that all of his white socks have holes. 'My goodness!' he cries, 'I shall be forced to wear black socks to work.'" Dogbert continues typing, "'If only my pants reached the tops of my shoes, then the other engineers might not notice,' Dilbert despaired." Dilbert asks, "What are you writing?" Dogbert turns around and answers, "It's a 'geek' tragedy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #subsidary, #communism, #capitalism, #economics, #appreciation, #real world, #engineers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm sending you to Elbonia to open our new subsidiary." Dilbert asks, "Elbonia?" Dilbert continues, "But they only renounced communism last week!! They don't understand capitalism or economics. They have no appreciation of the real world." As he packs his suitcase Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . He thinks they'll make fine engineers."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #punish, #man, #robbed, #house, #justice, #suffer, #stories

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Dogbert, we must become vigilantes and punish the man who robbed our house!!" Dilbert continues, "It's not justice we seek, it's REVENGE!!!" Dilbert says, "We must make him suffer." Dogbert replies, "Tell him one of your stories about work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #humor, #Dilbert, #the boss, #tension, #engineers, #lightbulb, #appraisal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I'm going to use humor to ease the tension during your annual job performance appraisal." The Boss asks, "How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?" Dilbert says, "I don't know." The Boss says, "Well, that's consistent with your appraisal." Dilbert says, "Wait . . . I'll say three."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #phone, #pager, #palm computer, #personal, #organizer, #wireless, #modem, #envy, #engineers, #thesaurus

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the dresser wearing a belt with several pieces of electronic equipment attached to it. Dilbert says, "Let's see . . . I've got my cellular phone, my pager, palm computer, personal organizer, wireless modem . . ." Dilbert looks in the mirror and continues, "Yeah, I'd say I'm pretty much the envy of engineers everywhere . . . Looking good . . . Looking good . . ." Dogbert says, "Words escape me . . ." Dilbert takes something out of his belt and says, "Here, I'll fire up the old thesaurus."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #personal, #technology, #engineers, #superior, #techno bill, #fax

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and another engineer bow to Dilbert as he walks past. Dilbert thinks, "My vast array of personal technology makes me dominant over the less-equipped engineers." Dilbert thinks, "I am superior to them all . . . With the possible exception of . . ." Dilbert says as he encounters another engineer, "Techno-Bill!!" Techno-Bill has even more electronic gadgets strapped to his body than Dilbert. Bill says, "Looks like somebody just had a fax."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #s.e.w.l.t.u.i.f.e, #lay dog, #society, #engineers, #initials, #everything, #acronyms, #unwashed, #masses, #technology, #b.f.d., #big furry deal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I'm joining the S.E.W.L.T.U.I.F.E." Dilbert explains, "To the lay dog, it's known as the 'Society of Engineers Who Like to Use Initials for Everything.'" Dilbert continues, "We use acronyms to set us apart from the unwashed masses who don't understand technology." Dogbert replies, "B.F.D." The caption translates Dogbert's comment as "Big Furry Deal."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #pose, #calendar, #Men, #engineering, #dispel, #myth, #engineers, #unaware, #pumped, #mouse, #shirt

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters holding a camera and asks, "Would you like to pose for my new calendar, 'The Men of Engineering?'" Dogbert explains, "I hope to dispel the myth that engineers are out of shape and unaware of what others are thinking." Dilbert feels his bicep muscle and says, "I'm still kind of 'pumped' from using the mouse." Dogbert says, "Take off your shirt."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #computer, #obsolete, #engineers, #down, #technology, #curve

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Wally and Ted, "I'm so mad . . . I just bought a new computer and it's already obsolete." Wally replies, "Don't feel bad. The other engineers won't look down on you just because you're behind the technology curve." Ted says, "Yeah, we will." Wally replies, "Not right in front of him."