Rate Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

40 Results for Rate

View 11 - 20 results for rate comic strips. Discover the best "Rate" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #financial model, #original spreadsheet, #developing strategy, #pay base, #tax rate

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss gives Wally and Dilbert a piece of paper. The Boss says, "I did some financial modeling on my own." Wally says, "But you didn't know any of the assumptions that went into the original spread sheet." The Boss says, "That didn't stop me from developing a strategy." Dilbert says, "Our pay is based on the tax rate now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #equity analyst, #rate stock, #banking investment, #wall, #between businesses, #weasels

View Transcript

Transcript

Equity Analyst Weasel: I'll rate your stock a "Must buy now" If you give us your investment banking business. The Boss: aren't you supposed yo have a chinese wall between those two businesses? weasel: Am I Too early? Weasel 1: Use the door idiot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outsourcing, #project, #huge hourly rate, #specified

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "I've reduced our development costs by outsourcing the project." Dilbert responds, "Does the proposal have a huge hourly rate for any work not specified in the contract?" The Boss replies, "Why do you ask?" Wally thinks, "Stay out of it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee rehab program, #blame location, #world headquaters, #recidivism rate

View Transcript

Transcript

The speaker greets Wally, "Wally, congratulations on finishing the coffee rehab program." A cab is waiting for Wally. The speaker says, "Our recidivism rate isn't too hot. Our critics blame our location." Wally's cab is parked in front of Starbucks World Headquarters. A voice from inside the building asks, "Who's swimming in our vat?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #repeat customer, #rate of recidivism, #focus on marketing, #learn from experience, #free knuckle tattoo, #nicknames for women, #free book, #criminals, #dumb

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "We only have a 10% repeat customer rate whereas prisons have a 70% rate of recidivism." "We need to focus our marketing on criminals because they don't learn from experience." "Order now and get a free knuckle tattoo plus our free book 1,001 nicknames for women."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #prosperity, #intuition, #market research, #success rate, #binary choices, #tiny manager, #made of copper, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: From now on, I'm going to rely on my intuition instead of market research. Dilbert: If guessing can bring your success rate up to 50% for binary choices, I'm all for it. Hey, look! I found a tiny manager made of copper in my pocket!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia, #inflation rate, #billion percent, #potato, #philmsk, #bardley

View Transcript

Transcript

The news says, "The inflation rate in Elbonia climbed to a billion percent." An Elbonian says, "Quickly hand me the potato and I'll tell my cousin in Phlimsk to let go of the other end of my money." Another Elbonian says, "Make it snappy." The first Elbonian says, "Bradley! I have the potato!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job, #lose my job, #rate service superiro, #service, #successful man, #survey, #loose job, #loose wife, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac: You will get a survey asking you how satisfied you were with my service today. If you don't rate my service superior in all categories, I will lose my jobs and my wife will leave me for a more successful man. Dilbert: Is she cute? Mordac: Why do you ask?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #definition of success, #slowing of failure, #rate of doing nothing, #improve, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "The company is happy to annouce that compaired to previous years, we improved our rate of revenue decline." The Boss says, "We've been doing great since we redefined success as a slowing of failure." The Boss says, "Moving on. Who has a status report?" Wally says, "I improved my rate of doing nothing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #empire consultant, #crown, #king, #attendance, #present, #luck, #bit rate, #lab coat, #raise hand

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the empire builder consultant Dogbert says, "Success is just attendance plus luck." Dogbert says, "You always want to be in the general vicinity when something good happens." Dilbert says, "Wow. I just doubled the bit rate." Boss says, "Present!"