Read The Minds Comic Strips - Page 2
223 Results for Read The Minds
View 11 - 20 results for read the minds comic strips. Discover the best "Read The Minds" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 30, 1994's comic on:
DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the phone, "I think I know what your problem is . . ." Dogbert continues, "Take all the parts and arrange them in neat piles. Now stand on your chair so you can see above your cubicle wall." A man stands on his chair holding the phone and looking over the cubicle walls. On the other end of the phone Dogbert continues, "Now shout 'Does anybody know how to read a manual?'"
Share December 03, 1994's comic on:
DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the phone, "So . . . There are three menu choices and the first two didn't work . . ." Dogbert's continues, "Some people would have recklessly tried the third choice before calling for help. But I can tell you're different." Dogbert continues, "Let's be honest with ourselves, Dave. Do you think anybody is going to read a memo from you?"
Share July 17, 1995's comic on:
Liz and Dilbert are seated beneath a tree reading books. She asks him, "What did you bring to read?" Dilbert responds, "It's a book of tips for my new computer golf game." Liz comments, "So . . . you're reading a book . . . about a computer simulation . . . of an activity that's ALMOST a sport . . ." Liz continues, "That's about as close as you can get to being a non-organic life form." Dilbert says, "This chapter is about driving the little cart."
Share February 22, 1996's comic on:
The caption says, "Somewhere in Elbonia." Dilbert says to two Elbonians, "I've been assigned to check the software you're writing for us under contract." One Elbonian says, "The documentation is written in our own Elbonian language." The other asks, "Is that a problem?" Dilbert says, "That's better than I'd hoped. I was afraid nobody here knew how to write." An Elbonian responds, "Writing is easy. Someday we hope to read, too."
Share August 09, 1992's comic on:
Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #hire, #consultant, #cognitive, #dissonance, #employee, #morale, #absurd, #situation, #work, #minds, #comfortable, #illusion, #strange, #dead end, #job, #love, #mediocre, #freely
Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Why should I hire you as my consultant?" Dogbert replies, "I'll use my special process of cognitive dissonance to improve employee morale." The Boss asks, "How does it work?" Dogbert explains, "When people are in an absurd situation, their minds rationalize it by inventing a comfortable illusion." The Boss says, "Okay, go do it." Dogbert asks an employee, "Isn't it strange that you have this dead end job when you're twice as smart as your boss?" Dogbert continues, "The hours are long, the pay is mediocre, nobody respects your contributions, and yet you freely choose to work here." The man looks upset. The man says, "It's absurd! No, wait . . . There must be a reason . . . I must work here because I LOVE the work." The man sits at his desk humming and thinking, "I love this job." Dogbert says, "Next!"
Share August 06, 1997's comic on:
The Boss sits at a table, his hands folded together and says, "We're going to try something called 'open book management.'" The Boss looks to Dilbert and Wally and syas, "We'll teach you to read the finacial statements of this company. It's all very motivating." Wally looks at a report and says, "... and our CEO got paid more than the entire capital budget." Alice says, "Is this what motivation feels like?"
Share October 18, 1997's comic on:
A television anchorman sits next to Dogbert and looks into the tv camera. He says, "My guest today on "Money Chatter" is the head of the "Dogbert Mutual Fund." The anchorman reads from a paper and says, "It's reported that your fund is the highest performer of the decade. Tell us how you made that happen." Dogbert says, "Okay." Dogbert says, Apparently, this guy will read anything you hand him." The anchor's eyes bulge out.
Share November 08, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching tv. Dilbert says, "You should read books instead of watching television all the time, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert replies, "Books are more educational because they don't have any sound or pictures." Dilbert continues, "And books are challenging because it takes hours to read something that television could convey with one image." Dilbert continues, "And books make you think because they have more complex plots." Dilbert continues, "In fact, you can read entire books without even figuring out what the story was about." Dilbert continues, "Now compare that with all the junk you're watching." Dogbert says, "I just watched the story of how DNA was discovered, then learned to bake a cake from scratch, and now I'm learning the causes of global warming." Dogbert asks, "What are you reading?" Dilbert replies, "It's called 'The Poodle Who Killed.'"
Share September 05, 1998's comic on:
Alice, Dilbert and Ted sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Alice, thank you for your twelve-page response to my e-mail last week." Alice smiles. Ted says, "But I was only sending it to you as an "FYI". Those decisions are already made." Alice's eyes widen. Alice grimaces, hands clench into fists of death. Ted says, "If I read your reaction right, you're wondering why I didn't say FYI on my e-mail."
Share January 20, 1999's comic on:
Wally, still with his ponytail, walks up to Dilbert and Alice who eat lunch. Wally has a woman (bimbo) on his arm. Wally says, "I sold me internet business and married Roxie." Wally says, "Don't worry about my money. Roxie insisted that we sign prenuptial agreements." Wally says, "Now for our honeymoon." Roxie says, "Whoa! That's not in our agreement." Alice says, "He didn't read it."