Recycling Goals Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

72 Results for Recycling Goals

View 11 - 20 results for recycling goals comic strips. Discover the best "Recycling Goals" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 1993's comic on:


Tags #time machine, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #recycling, #trash

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert kneels in front of a machine. He tells Dogbert, "My time machine is complete." Dogbert says, "I guess you'll be off to explore exotic and fascinating civilizations." Dilbert asks, "Why would anybody want to do that?" Dogbert replies, "Beats me." Dilbert says, "My plan is to send all of our trash to ourselves twenty years from now. We'll have much better recycling methods by then." Dilbert puts a bag of trash into the time machine and says, "I wonder what elegant methods we'll have for recycling in the future." Dilbert continues, "I bet we'll have a way that's quick and efficient and . . ." Dogbert asks, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh." They hear a "ping." Dilbert and Dogbert stand among several bags of trash. Dilbert says, "We would send it back in time and wait for it to decompose." Dogbert says, "I hate us."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #stretch goals, #signaling surrender, #no to doughnut

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Starting today, our goals will be replaced by stretch goals." Asok asks, "Stretch goals?" Alice says, "Stretch goals are like stretch pants. It's a way of signaling surrender." Asok puts up both arms in surrender. Alice says, "Speaking of which, I wouldn't say no to a doughnut."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new thoughts, #head heavier, #compensate, #meeting, #no goals, #be on stamp, #future golas, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Wally says, "I think my head is getting heavier from all the new thoughts." Wally continues, "I plan to compensate by propping it up with my arm during meetings." Dilbert says, "Some people think you have no goals." Wally responds, "Long term, I hope to be on a stamp."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2004's comic on:


Tags #take risks, #employees afraid, #train them, #stitch goals, #punishing for failure, #raise morale, #stopped complaints

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: "According to this report, our employees are afraid to take risks." The Boss: "We can train them to take risks by giving them stretch goals and punishing them for failing!" Catbert: "We did that to raise morale." The Boss: "It stopped all the complaining, didn't it?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #goals for th eyear, #replace my soul, #become immortal, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, what are your goals for the coming year? Wally: My goal is to replace my soul with coffee and become immortal. The boss: I mean something about work. Wally: Oh, I thought you said MY goals."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2007's comic on:


Tags #stretch goals, #goals for year, #set higher

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I wrote out my goals for the coming year. I set them higher than I can achieve because our boss said it's good to have stretch goals. Alice: Well, more for us."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #interviews, #career goals, #80 hours a week, #below - market, #compensation

View Transcript

Transcript

Job interview Interviewee: But enough about me. How can I help you achieve your career goals? Boss: You could work 80 hours a week for below-market compensation. Interviewee: I did not see that coming. Boss: Good. I need employees who can't see it coming. You're hired.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #wages, #compensation, #achieving goals, #debating, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your compensation will be based on achieving these goals. Dilbert: Awesome. It's like written permission to ignore everything else you ask me to do. Boss: It's not like that at all. Dilbert: Get back to me when you finish debating yourself.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2013's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #sense of urgency, #energy, #pretend to work, #fake urgency, #vague goals, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to have a sense of urgency. Wally: I use most of my energy pretending to work, but I can add a layer of fake urgency if you really need it. Boss: What? Wally: I gotta go! I have vague goals to achieve!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2008's comic on:


Tags #loser, #achieves nothing, #reality, #winner, #realistic goals, #genous, #have a pulse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Some people see me as a loser who achieves nothing." Wally says, "In reality I am a winner who knows how to set realistic goals." Dilbert says, "So you're sort of a genius." Wally says, "And yet my only goal was to have a pulse."