Reducing Headcount Comic Strips - Page 2

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View 11 - 20 results for reducing headcount comic strips. Discover the best "Reducing Headcount" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #Environment, #ordered, #ink, #removed, #copiers, #printers, #pens, #research, #squids, #elmer's, #glue, #cows

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The Boss tells Dilbert and a woman, "To protect our environment, I've ordered that ink be removed from all copiers, printers and pens." The Boss continues, "Research shows that many squids can be spared by reducing our ink usage." Dilbert replies, "I don't think we get our ink from squids, sir." The Boss says, "Oh, right . . . Next you'll say we don't get our 'Elmer's' from cows."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ted, #the boss, #typo, #budget, #spreadsheet, #pay, #work, #happiest, #day, #life

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An employee says to the Boss, "I found a typo in the budget spreadsheet . . . It's too late to fix it." The man continues, "We transferred one job to another group but accidentally kept the money and headcount." The Boss tells another man, ". . . So, we still pay you but you aren't allowed to do work." The man thinks, "This is the happiest day of my life."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #emphasize positive, #french staellite, #trending downward, #upbeat, #war with france, #project staus

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dilberts letter: "Project status: We accidentally destroyed the French satellite and are now at war with France." Elbonian: "Maybe you should be a little more upbeat in your report. Emphasize the positive." letter: "...on a positive note, our headcount expenses are trending downward."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #donuts, #contains memo, #fired, #termination notice, #humane, #ate the memo, #Wally, #3 donuts

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss hands around a box of donuts and says, "One of these donuts contains a memo which fires the recipient." The Boss continues, "This seemed like the most humane way to reduce headcount." As they walk out of the conference room, Dilbert says, "How was your donut?" Wally replies, "The first two were great. The third was papery."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #united charity, #kick off, #headless man, #inspirational speaker, #dignity, #quations, #head count report

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Wally hands a piece of paper to Dilbert and says, "Be at the 'United Charity' kickoff tomorrow." While Dilbert reads the paper Wally says, "I hired a headless man to be our inspirational speaker." Wally, Sally and the Boss are seated and a headless man stands in front of them with a microphone, making a speech. The headless man says, ". . . and that's how 'United Charity' game me back my dignity. Any questions?" The Boss raises his hand and asks, "How do you show up on a headcount report?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #corporate vice presdient, #win bet, #action plan, #spend money, #vice president, #annoying rodent

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Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Remember everything I taught you, Ratbert. If you can pass yourself off as a corporate vice president, I'll win my bet." Ratbert stands on a desk and says to Wally as he walks by, "Yo, Headcount! If you have any issues, put together an action plan. Our people are the best. Don't spend money." Wally asks Alice, "Do you think he's really a vice president?" Alice answers, "Maybe. But I'm not ready to rule out 'annoying rodent' yet." In the background Ratbert says, "Quality."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #review board, #fist of death, #alice, #wally no work, #nostradamus, #alice punches wally

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The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The executive review board meeting is canceled. I hope you didn't work too hard preparing for it." Alice clenches her teeth and thinks, "Must . . . control fist . . . of . . . death . . ." Wally says, "Unlike Alice, I saw it coming and did no work whatsoever." Alice punches Wally and his head collapses into his shirt. She asks, "Did you see THAT coming, Nostradamus?" Dilbert asks, "What does this do to headcount?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sacrificial lamb, #head count vacancy, #budget cut, #shake hands, #get attached

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The boss introduces a new man to Dilbert. The boss says, "Dilbert, meet our new sacrifial lamb." The boss says, "I filled our headcount vacancy so we have someone to dump after the next budget cut." The lamb says, "Should we shake hands?" The boss says, "I don't want to get attached."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality assurance group, #bad for company, #head count problem

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The boss says to Asok, "Asok, I'm moving you to my "quality assurance" group." Asok gasps. The boss says, "I realize this is bad for you... and bad for the company... but it solves my headcount problem." Asok eats lunch with Dilbert and Wally. Asok says, "Will that be my conreibution to the world: "He solved a headcount problem'?" Wally says, "That tops me."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Here's your coffee. Maybe the wizard can give you some ambition. "Aaah..." "Aren't you afraid that the wicked witch will send her winged cat after us?" "Say what?" "I need headcount for my project. Bring them to me!"