Regular Vendor Comic Strips - Page 2
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140 Results for Regular Vendor
View 11 - 20 results for regular vendor comic strips. Discover the best "Regular Vendor" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 13,
1994
Tags #committed to buy, #cost justify, #ethical, #execuitve, #translate, #vendor, #weasel, #words
Transcript
Weasel: tell me about your project and I'll translate it into weasel words for the business case. Dilbert: well, and executive had lunch with a vendor and committed to buy some stuff that doesn't work. Our job is to cost - justify the decision. Wesel: I quit Dilbert: Don't get all ethical on us.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday August 03,
1995
Tags #hired as temp, #ratbert, #cardboard box, #main hallway, #regular employees, #status, #security gurad, #crud behind refrigerator, #company car
Transcript
Dilbert says to Ratbert, "Congratulations on getting hired as a temp, Ratbert." Ratbert answers, "Where do I start?!" Dilbert tells him, "Your office is this cardboard box in the main hallway. The regular employees will not make eye contact or ask your name." Dilbert continues, "Your status is roughly between the security guard and the crud behind the refrigerator." Ratbert replies, "Do I get a company car?"
Thursday September 21,
1995
Tags #tech support, #bob, #newest manuver, #turban wedgie, #regular wedgie
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the armrest of a couch. Dilbert, with a phone in his hand, says, "I've been on hold for tech support since Tuesday. Get Bob and meet me in the car." Dilbert is driving with Dogbert in the passenger seat. Bob the Dinosaur says from the back seat, "I can't wait to try my newest maneuver, the 'Turban Wedgie.'" Bob is holding the tech support person in the air. The tech support person has a turban on his head. Bob says to Dilbert, "It starts like a regular wedgie then I wrap it around his head." Dilbert says, "Question . . ."
Tuesday December 05,
1995
Tags #lousy vendor, #sales rep, #gorgeous, #field engineer, #without shirt, #indian chief, #maintenance package
Transcript
Alice stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I can't believe you're recommending this lousy vendor just because the sales rep is gorgeous." Wally hands Alice a photograph and says, "Here's a picture of Thor, their field engineer." Alice stares at the picture and asks, "Does he really work without a shirt?" Wally answers, "Only if you but the 'Indian Chief' maintenance package."
Wednesday December 06,
1995
Tags #attractive sales person, #vendor, #dogbert technology, #hardware solution, #half cost, #save money, #upgrade later, #expensive, #price sheet
Transcript
Dogbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "Your employees have recommended a vendor who has an attractive salesperson." Dogbert continues, "But the 'Dogbert Technology Company' can provide you with a hardware solution for HALF the cost!" The Boss says excitedly, "I'll save money!" The Boss asks, "What if I need to upgrade later? Is it expensive?" Dogbert replies, "I must have left that price sheet in my other fur."
Friday December 08,
1995
Tags #critical system, #all the power, #essential upgardes, #simple fool, #next emplyee, #vendor issues, #compatibility
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk and says to Wally, "It's funny - before your company bought that critical system from me, YOU had all the power . . ." Dogbert yells, "But now, only I can provide essential upgrades!! I call the shots, you simple fool!!" Dogbert says, "Send in the next employee." Outside the cubicle Dilbert and another employee are standing in line holding numbers. The man says, "At least we don't have any multi-vendor compatibility issues."
Saturday January 27,
1996
Tags #primary vendor, #make a choice, #impractical solution
Transcript
Dilbert says to the Boss, ". . . But our primary vendor can't deliver, so . . ." The Boss ignores Dilbert and thinks, "I wonder what's on tv tonight." Dilbert continues, ". . . Should we risk a lawsuit or build a product that nobody on earth wants?" The Boss thinks, "Did he ask me to make a choice?" Dilbert thinks, "Will it be a request for information or an impractical solution?" The Boss says, "Let's do both!"
Wednesday February 14,
1996
Tags #such cubicle enviroment, #regular emplyees, #enjoy, #sharing cubicle, #co ops, #new co op, #lasted a day, #fit in
Transcript
The Boss walks down the hall with a new employee. The Boss says, "As a co-op employee, you can't expect the same lush cubicle environment that the regular employees enjoy." The Boss brings the man to a cubicle filled with people lying on top of each other. The Boss says, "You'll be sharing this cubicle with our other co-ops." Dilbert says to Alice, "I heard that the new co-op only lasted one day." Alice quips, "He didn't fit in."
Wednesday June 05,
1996
Tags #pond scum, #nice to know, #lower staus, #brochures, #vendor, #hurts
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally walk down the hall together. Dilbert says, "Although we are nothing but pond scum in this company . . ." Dilbert continues as they walk into a conference room, "It's nice to know we can still find someone of lower status to torment." Dilbert and Wally sit at a table with a vendor. Dilbert says, "You call these brochures? How can I even consider buying products from a 'ven-duh' such as you?" Wally reaches for the salesperson's ear and says, "Tell me if this hurts."
Thursday June 06,
1996
Tags #tormenting the bvendor, #bidding economic future, #buying decsion, #performance measures, #vendor challenge, #nice t hsirts
Transcript
Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table with a vendor. Wally says, "You must do our bidding, Vendor. We control your economic future." Dilbert says, "Of course, our buying decision will be based solely on quantifiable performance measurements." Dilbert stands at the end of the table holding a hoop. The salesperson is on his hands and knees on the table. Dilbert says, "Your competitor completed the 'Vendor Challenge Course' in 37 seconds." Wally adds, "And he gave us VERY nice t-shirts."