Reorganized Pattern Comic Strips - Page 2

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24 Results for Reorganized Pattern

View 11 - 20 results for reorganized pattern comic strips. Discover the best "Reorganized Pattern" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 1989's comic on:


Tags #lying, #sarcasm, #polite, #momentum

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Dilbert asks Dogbert who is sitting on the bed, "Do you like my new clip-on necktie?" Dogbert replies, "It's very nice. Good colors, nice pattern. Why, with a tie like that, DON'T be surprised if you get an offer to pose for GQ MAGAZINE!" Dilbert says, "I think you crossed that fine line between polite lying and outright sarcasm." Dogbert replies, "The momentum carried me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 1989's comic on:


Tags #joke telling, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #beer, #cactus, #timing, #jokes

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The caption says, "Dilbert demonstrates the art of joke telling." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on chairs across from each other. Dilbert says, ". . . So the first guy orders a beer and a cactus . . ." The caption says, "A good joke teller will seek to establish a pattern." Dilbert continues, ". . . Then the second guy . . . Heh, heh . . . Orders a beer and a cactus . . ." The caption says, "Tomorrow's lesson: timing." Dilbert continues, ". . . So then the seventy-third guy comes in . . ." Dogbert is asleep.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 1994's comic on:


Tags #blind ambition, #chips & dips, #food services, #new name, #procurement, #the unled, #new department

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The Boss: We'll need a name for the newly reorganized department. The name should reflect how Ive seamlessly integrated engineering with food services and procurement. Dilbert: How about "chips and dips"? Wally: "Blind Ambition" Man: " The unled"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #still single, #shower, #recoup money, #wedding gifts, #baby showers, #bitter, #election hut, #registered

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"Wally, you're invited to a 'Still Single' shower in my honor." "I'm trying to recoup all the money I've blown on wedding gifts and baby showers." "Someone's feeling a little bitter today." "I have a pattern registered at 'Electron Hut'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 1996's comic on:


Tags #ivy league degree, #vice president, #rerganized, #training ratbert, #teching, #grooming for position, #powerful position

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Dilbert sits at his desk and Dogbert sits on the desk behind him. Dilbert says, "I wish I had an Ivy League degree so I could be promoted to vice president." Dogbert responds, "You don't need one." Dilbert says, "It's impossible to be a vice president without one." Dogbert says, "I'll bet $100 I can turn a rat into a vice president." Dogbert and Ratbert stand in front of a mirror. Dogbert says, "That was good, but try saying it as though your soul just abandoned your body." Ratbert says, "We've reorganized to focus on our core competency."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 1997's comic on:


Tags #cloud of doom, #zaps everyone, #once a minute, #past behavior, #indication of future, #won't happen again

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Dilbert sits on a bench with a woman wearing charred clothing. Dilbert says, "I have a cloud of doom that zaps everyone near me once a minute." The cloud hovers over Dilbert. Dilbert continues, "I'm looking for a woman who deson't think that past behavior is an indication of the future." A bolt of lightning from the cloud strikes the woman. Dilbert continues, ". . . A woman with absolutely no sense of pattern recognition." The woman says, "Ouch. I'm glad that won't happen again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 1997's comic on:


Tags #dogbert research co>, #focus group, #carefully screened, #loser choices, #opposite, #what recommended, #skipped jury duty, #liver transplant

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Dogbert Research Co. Dogbert says, "You've all been carefully screened for this focus group." Dogbert continues, "Each of you has a pattern of making "Loser Choices." I'll tell my clients to do the opposite of whatever you recommend." One man says, "Fun! I'm glad I skipped jury duty to be here." THe woman next to him says, "I rescheduled my liver transplant!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 1997's comic on:


Tags #compliments, #compliments list, #everything you say, #lower opinion, #analyze identity

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Dogbert and Dilbert go for a walk. Dogbert says, "When you're with a woman, everything you say will lower her opinion of you." Dilbert says, "But, I can give her compliments, right?" Dogbert's ears standon end. He says, "No! That's the worst thing." Dogbert says, "Women keep a log of all compliments. They analyze the pattern to identify negative trends." Dilbert says, "Should I use my real name?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2007's comic on:


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"You have a pattern of raising no objections to plans and later acting as if you opposed them from the start." "I hope to thwart you by asking you to sign off on this plan in writing." "Ooh, if only you had asked me before my hands got stuck in these coffee mugs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2002's comic on:


Tags #best practices, #classified budget, #consultanats, #layoffs, #merger, #new ceo, #office relocation, #reorganized, #savings, #startegy, #whole industry, #budget freeze

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Dilbert points to a diagram that reads, "Year 1." He says, "The project got off to a slow start." Dilbert continues, "First we had the reorganization." Dilbert continues, "Then the merger. And the layoffs." Dilbert continues, "Budget freeze. Office relocation." Dilbert continues, "New Ceo, New consultants, New strategy." Business associates listen as Dilbert continues, "Eventually the whole industry changed and the opportunity evaporated." Dilbert continues, "So we classified our unused budget as "savings" and gave everyone a shirt. A female business associate turns to The Boss and says, "You said you'd show us your 'best practices.'" The Boss replies, "What are you implying?"