Replace Humans Comic Strips - Page 2
141 Results for Replace Humans
View 11 - 20 results for replace humans comic strips. Discover the best "Replace Humans" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 11, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert says to a robot, "Remember, the 'Robot's Code' requires you to use your vast strength to serve, protect, and never harm humans." The robot says, "Ha! I didn't sign any 'Robot's Code.' In fact, with my vast strength I can make YOU serve ME!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I forgot to program in the 'Robot's Code.'" The robot reaches toward Dilbert's head and says, "Maybe I'll crush your head just for fun!"
Share November 07, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Ratbert stands on the hassock. Ratbert asks, "Why are you so glum?" Dilbert replies, "It's lonely when Dogbert is away." Ratbert says as he dances, "Lonely? Ha! Let me entertain you with a little dance number. Then we'll bond and I'll replace Dogbert as your best friend!" Ratbert dances and signs "Kumbaya." Dilbert says, "Now I'm lonely and I have a dancing rat."
Share December 21, 1992's comic on:
The Boss sits at his desk reading a report while Dilbert stands waiting. The Boss says, "Good report, but change the word 'use' to 'utilize' in each case." The Boss continues, "Change 'help' to 'facilitate' and replace 'do' with 'implementation phase.'" The Boss continues, "Hmm . . . It's still a bit too readable." Dilbert replies, "I could reduce the type size and run it through the fax."
Share April 01, 1994's comic on:
Share May 09, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert and Liz sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "I'm so lucky to be dating you, Liz. You're at least an eight." Liz responds, "You're a ten." Dilbert and Liz sit looking at the mountains in silence. Dilbert asks, "Are we using the same scale?" Liz responds, "Ten is the number of seconds it would take to replace you."
Share August 15, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert waving his arms. Dilbert says, "The dehumanization of my job has rendered me invisible to humans. Only you can see me, Dogbert." Dilbert asks, "How can we fix this?" Dogbert replies, "You could wear a bag on your head when you're around me." Dilbert clenches his fists and answers, "That's not the fix I had in mind." Dogbert responds, "It's not a perfect solution. I'd still be able to hear you."
Share December 09, 1995's comic on:
The Boss and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "It's inexplicable, but the low-cost system I sold you seems to be woefully under-powered." Dogbert continues, "You could replace it with another vendor's system, thus showing everybody you make a mistake. Or you can pay my outrageous upgrade fees." The Boss asks, "How big a fool do you think I am?" Dogbert replies, "I won't know until I see if you go for the lease option."
Share April 25, 1996's comic on:
The caption says, "Experiment #1: I am exposing a rat to my company's marketing plan." Dilbert shows a copy of the plan to Ratbert. The caption says, "He seems to have no adverse response to the introduction and background." Ratbert hums as he reads the plan. Dilbert takes notes. The caption says, "This is already far more exposure than humans could tolerate." A large bump appears on Ratbert's head and he says, "Sales projections . . . brain tumor . . . get Tylenol . . ."
Share June 22, 1996's comic on:
Wally says to Dilbert, "The only employee suggestions that get accepted are the ones that are harmless and stupid." They sit down at a conference table and Wally continues, "I submitted some harmless and stupid ideas to test my theory." The Boss sits at his desk and reads a document that says, "Suggestion: Replace all #2 pencils with #4 pencils. The hard lead lasts longer yet costs the same." The Boss thinks, "That could work."
Share May 05, 1997's comic on:
Dogbert sits on the couch. Dilbert says, "I calculated the total time that humans have waited for Web pages to load . . ." Dilbert continues, "It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age." Dilbert says, "Sometimes I think the Web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society." Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh, he's on to me."