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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #burglars & robbers, #deception, #discrimination, #defective ones, #ski mask, #reading people

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Dilbert: Do you know who keeps raking my good cables and replacing them with defective ones? Alice: Certainly not me. But I did see an Elbonian wearing a hoodie near your bench. Dilbert: I'm not good at reading people. Alice: I'm counting on that.

Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan

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Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #robots, #invention, #health, #big business, #corporation, #nanobot

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CEO: We're replacing the employee health plan with nanorobot technology. We'll insert tiny medical robots into their lower digestive tracts to keep them healthy forever. Boss: So, our plan is to shove robots up... CEO: Only until the robots can replace them.

Brittle Phone Design

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Brittle Phone Design - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #big business, #fragile, #iphone, #technology

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Boss: We made our new phone extra-brittle and gave it a sleek, but slippery case. Consumers will be forced to choose between an ugly protective cover or replacing the phone three times a year. Dilbert: Who would buy such a thing? Boss: We also made it addictive.

Replacing Robot Head

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Replacing Robot Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2017's comic on:


Tags #machines, #rights, #robot, #technology, #survival, #suffering, #apathy

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Dilbert: I've been asked to replace your head. Robot: Um... what's the survival rate for this operation? Dilbert: No one cares. Robot: I'll need a second opinion. Wally: I don't care either.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #morals, #blame

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Dilbert: Don't finish the software patch. We're replacing the entire system. Man: Why didn't you tell me sooner? Dilbert: I just found out. Man: While you were standing here. Dilbert: Um, no, I was standing somewhere else. Man: When? Dilbert: Twenty minutes ago. Man: Aha!!! You wasted twenty minutes of my time because you're a terrible person! Dilbert; I'm sorry. Now I feel awful. Man: You're just lucky I forgot to work on that patch.