Resort Fee Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

28 Results for Resort Fee

View 11 - 20 results for resort fee comic strips. Discover the best "Resort Fee" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annual fee, #joke, #once a month, #dumb, #annual fee once a month

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss asks a salesman, "How often would you charge us this 'annual fee?'" The salesman replies, "Is that a joke?" Alice responds, "Sadly, no." The salesman says to The Boss, "Once a month." The Boss replies, "Sounds fair."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #risk, #pr plan, #karma, #extra fee, #infinite fabric, #britney spear, #hairstly, #back hair

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert does PR." "There's some risk that the PR plan will cause you bad kharma." "Ooh." "For an extra fee, I can do some PR work aimed at the infinite fabric of the universe to innoculate you." "And I think I can get Britney Spears to wear your hairstyle." "Can you get her to grow her hair on her back, too?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #double fees, #management consulting, #outsourcing job, #india, #double fee

View Transcript

Transcript

I found a way to double my management consulting fees. "I recommend outsourcing your job to India." "I'll double your fee if you never say that again." WAG!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #despair, #prices, #social media expert, #fee, #pay scale, #popcorn, #meeting, #hope left body, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I assume we pay you based on how much you increase our social media hits. Consultant: No. My fee is whatever I think you're dumb enough to pay for ambiguous outcomes. Dilbert: Either hope just left my body or the popcorn is getting chatty. Social media expert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #legal fees, #lawsuit, #fee is 100%, #analog, #lawyer, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "How much do I owe you in legal fees for helping me win my lawsuit?" Dogbert says, "My fee is 100% of the jury award plus I get to call you names that sound worse than they are." Dilbert says, "That doesn't seem fair." Dogbert says, "You're an analog."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #seminar, #teach, #make millions, #scam, #seminar name, #crush hopes, #dreams, #bitter and broken, #nominal fee, #invest, #100 to one million

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I'm going to a seminar that will teach me how to make a million dollars!" Alice says, "It's a scam." Asok says, "How could you know that?" Asok says, "I haven't even told you the name of the seminar!" Asok says, "You can't be sure it is a scam if you know none of the details." Asok says, "You just want to crush my hopes so I become like you." Asok says, "But it won't work because I have dreams! I won't be a bitter and broken cynic like you two!" Asok says, "I'll have the last laugh after I pay my nominal fee and learn how to 'Turn a Hundred Dollars Into a Million.'" Dogbert says, "invest $100 at 5% interest and wait 190 years. Thanks for coming."

Dogbert The Auditor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Auditor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #consultant, #company, #fee, #fraud, #crime, #report, #question

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: for a reasonable fee, i will audit your company and find any fraud or crime if it exists. dilbert: what's to stop you from taking bribes from the fraudsters and reporting that everything is fine? dogbert: my business model depends on you not asking that kind of question.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prosperity, #saving & investment, #portfolio, #standard industry, #investing, #billion dollars, #index funds, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'll manage your portfolio for a standard industry fee of 1% per year. Wally: I'm investing a billion dollars. Your fee would be $10 million per year. Dogbert: Those index funds aren't going to pick themselves.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #consulting, #job, #questioning, #employees, #underpaid, #problems, #fault, #lard, #head

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and the Boss walk out of the Boss's office. Dogbert says, "My fee for business consulting is $200 an hour." The Boss says, "Fair enough." Dogbert says, "I'll spend the day questioning your employees to identify problem areas." Later that day, Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert reads a document and says, "It's unanimous. They're underpaid and all the problems are your fault, 'Lard Head.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #business, #Card, #romance, #interpreter, #dates, #translate, #male, #female, #language, #date, #women and men

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Here's my new business card. I'm a romance interpreter." Dogbert explains, "For a small fee I'll accompany you on dates and translate between male and female language." Dilbert, Dogbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates, "She's telling a pointless story about work. By annoying you in this way she hopes to form a closer bond."