Revenue For Profit Comic Strips - Page 2
61 Results for Revenue For Profit
View 11 - 20 results for revenue for profit comic strips. Discover the best "Revenue For Profit" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 15, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "If you plan to have a booth at the trade show, you need the 'Dogbert Trade-Show Consulting Company' to design it." Dogbert continues, "I recommend the deluxe booth. It's guaranteed to generate the most revenue." Alice asks, "How would the deluxe booth generate more revenue for my company?" Dogbert says, "Oh, suddenly this is about YOUR company?"
Share April 22, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert tells Alice, "This so-called 'Family Friendly' policy is like a tax on childless people." Dilbert continues, "You get child-care; I get lower profit-sharing. YOU get time off for family; I get to pick up your slack . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm a victim, but in some strange way I'm enjoying it." Alice makes a fist and rolls up her sleeve. She says, "Then you'll love this."
Share May 16, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of a line graph titled, "$". Dilbert says, "I had to make some optimistic assumptions to meet the revenue target." The Boss is sitting behind Dilbert, looking at the graph. Dilbert continues, "In week three, we're visited by an alien named D'utox Inag who offers to share his advanced technology." The Boss asks, "Then do we use his technology to design our new product?" Dilbert replies, "No, we kill him and sell the autopsy video."
Share November 23, 1997's comic on:
The Boss stands at Alice's desk. The Boss says, "When you show this to our VP. Put in some revenue figures." Alice says, "There's no revenue. All we're doing is upgrading our network." The Boss says, "I might have told him the project has revenues." Alice grits her teeth. The Boss says, "Lets not confuse him by changing the story now." Alice covers her eyes. Alice screams, "Yi-yi-yi." Alice says, "O-o-o-okay. How much revenue do you want? A million dollars?" The Boss says, "I might have told him it was more." Alice screams, "Just tell me what lie to use!!!" The Boss says, "Can't you calculate it on the spreadsheet?" Alice's fists clench, Alice's eyes bulge. Alice thinks, "Must control....fist..of...death..."
Share November 26, 1999's comic on:
The Turnaround CEO The devilish looking CEO asks Dilbert, "Tell me, mole, who can I fire without affecting revenue?" Dilbert replies, "In theory, you could outsource everything and run the company with one smart employee." Dilbert continues, "And at the risk of sounding rude, only one of us knew that."
Share December 24, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert is on his home sofa in his bathrobe with his feet on the table. Dogbert is next to him. From the T.V. we hear: "DogbertMD.com had a successful IPO today, netting billions for Dogbert." From the T.V.: "The company has no profit now and expects no profit later." From the T.V.: "The company issued a press release that says, "Neener neener. Profits are for losers." Dilbert says:"Succinct"
Share March 16, 2001's comic on:
DILBERT: DOT-COM CEO: Dilbert sits at the head of a table and children sit in seats around the table. One of the children has a baby bottle at his place. Dilbert says, "We have no profit now and we never will. You're all laid off." The child with the baby bottle asks, "Does anyone know what laid off means?" A young man says, "It must be a compliment." The young man says to Dilbert, "You're pretty laid off yourself, dude." The child offers his baby bottle to Dilbert and says, "Want a hit of this?"
Share March 28, 2001's comic on:
Dogbert says to a dragon, "Bob, I'm starting a power utility company." Dogbert says to the dragon, "You'll be my Director of Marketing. Your job is to increase revenue." A frightened-looking boy is lying in bed with the covers pulled up to his nose. A lighted lamp is at his bedside. The dragon's tail is sticking out from under the bed and the dragon says, "Normally I'm an herbivore, Billy, but when the lights go off..."
Share March 31, 2001's comic on:
CATBERT: EVIL H.R. DIRECTOR: A man sitting across the desk from Catbert says, "... And I have five years experience as a dot-com president." The man listens as Catbert says, "You're in luck. We need someone who can burn through twenty million dollars without making a profit." Catbert grins widely as the man says, "Really? The last nine interviewers said the same thing but they were joking."
Share November 12, 2001's comic on:
The Boss says to an employee, "Our CEO's goal is to improve our revenue per employee. So I'm going to fire you and bring you back as a contractor." The employee responds, "Last week his goal was to reduce the number of contractors. So you cancelled my contract and hired me as an employee." The Boss replies, "Well, it looks like someone doesn't like having his cheese moved." The employee looks at The Boss skeptically.