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View 11 - 20 results for rude comic strips. Discover the best "Rude" comics from Dilbert.com.

Searching On A Phone

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Searching On A Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #communication, #phone, #protocol, #task, #rude, #technology, #insult, #fake

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tina: i have something funny to show you. just give me a minute to find it on my phone. dilbert thinking: what's the protocol in this situation? should i just sit here and stare at her pawing at her phone? i can't talk because she's focused on her task. and it would be rude to walk away. would it be an insult to look at my own phone and mentally check out from this useless interaction? tina: ah! i found it! dilbert: okay, good. tina: wait, that's not the right one. dilbert: is this why people fake their own deaths?

Important Context

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Important Context - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #communication, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #question, #answer, #context, #rude, #interrupt

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alice: why are you looking at your phone while i'm answering your question? dilbert: because our answer has nothing to do with my question, but i didn't want to be rude and interrupt you. alice: i'm giving important context. dilbert: text me when that part is done.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #rude, #dry cleaning, #while you wait, #sign

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Dilbert stands at a counter under a sign that says, "Dry cleaning while you wait." He hands the woman behind the counter some clothing. The clerk says, "We'll have it done in three days." Dilbert says, "The sign says 'while you wait.'" The woman asks, "Do you think you'll stop waiting after two days?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #laptop, #allow work, #lug around, #worry, #broken, #stolen, #technology

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert says, "My cellular phone and laptop computer allow me to work any time and anyplace . . ." Dogbert asks, "While driving?" Dilbert answers, "Too dangerous." Dogbert asks, "In restaurants?" Dilbert answers, "Too rude." Dogbert asks, "Outdoors?" Dilbert answers, "Nope." Dogbert concludes, "Basically, you lug them around and worry that they'll get stolen or broken." Dilbert fondles his laptop and says, "Stop it. You're scaring them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #cds, #account, #push-ups, #exercise, #glasses, #david packard, #bank, #bank account

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Dilbert says, "They were rude to me at the bank again, Dogbert." Dilbert points to the door and says, "I've had enough . . . Sic 'em, boy!!" Dogbert walks into the bank. Dogbert tells a woman, "Hi. I'm David Packard; billionaire founder of Hewlett-Packard." Dogbert sits at the woman's desk and continues, ". . . And I'd like to put all of my money into one of your non-interest bearing accounts." The woman replies, "You're not David Packard. You're just a dreadful little dog with glasses." The woman says, "Then again . . . I've never seen a picture of David Packard . . . I'd better open the account." Dogbert says, "Very good. Now give me fifty push-ups or I'll take my business elsewhere."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illogical scientist, #software, #prove a negative, #trained scientist, #involve electric shocks, #engineering

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Asok is working at his computer. dan walks up behind him and says, "Hi. I'm Dan, the Illogical Scientist. That software you're writing will never work, and I can prove it." Asok says, "I don't mean to be rude, but it's not logically possible to prove something can't be done." Dan points to himself with his thumb and says, "It's impossible for most people, but I'm a trained scientist." Asok says, "Did the training involve electric shocks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dilbert as waiter, #hots on customer, #insults customer, #specials, #rude, #age

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Dilbert is waiting on a table. He says to the customer, "I'll be your server tonight... Whoa, you're beautiful." Dilbert continues, "Would your grandfather mind if I asked you out?" The customer replies, "He's my husband." Dilbert turns to the older man and says, "Moving right along, would you like to hear about our specials?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mood swings, #deficit, #piece of dirt, #Family, #defect, #defected worker

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The Boss introduces a new co-worker to Dilbert, "Dilbert, this is Irene. I don't yet know what her defect is." Irene yells, "Stop being rude to me, you piece of dirt!!!" Irene hugs Dilbert and says, "We're like family now." The Boss says, "I'm thinking: mood swings."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sycophant school, #agree with superiors, #make statements, #fake smiles, #paid 400x more, #look at faces, #rude, #teaching, #aggressive, #education

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SYCOPHANT SCHOOL "You must learn to agree with your superiors no matter what they say." "For practice, I'll make statements and you agree. Remember to use your fake smiles." "Statement one: I should be paid 400 times more than you because I have to look at your faces."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discontinued chips, #crazy glare, #useless

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"Hey, Dilbert, can you update the yield numbers for our discontinued chips?" "Well, if I have to choose between being rude and doing something useless..." "Consider my crazy glare." "I guess I'll start being useless."