Rule By Fear Comic Strips - Page 2
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123 Results for Rule By Fear
View 11 - 20 results for rule by fear comic strips. Discover the best "Rule By Fear" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 11,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #motorist, #distress, #ahead, #fear, #engineer, #woman, #Men, #frauds, #gas, #explosion, #men and women
Transcript
Dilbert drives his car and thinks, "Motorist in distress up ahead." A woman in a car asks, "Can you help me, young man?" Dilbert replies, "Have no fear, I'm an engineer." Dilbert looks under the hood of her car and says, "Hmm . . . Yes, I see . . . Try it now." The woman tries to start the car and says, "Nothing." Dilbert says, "Okay, try it now." The woman gets out of the car and looks over his shoulder. The woman says, "Hey, you're not doing anything but fiddling and poking at things!" The woman continues, "In fact, there's nothing in here that you could conceivably fix with your bare hands. My God, you men are frauds!!" The woman continues, "It's lucky I'm out of gas; you might have caused an explosion!!"
Wednesday May 15,
1996
Tags #inert, #leadership, #morale boosting, #next phase, #pending merger, #praised with fear, #rigor mortis, #unmotivated
Transcript
Dilbert stands with his arms extended and says to the Boss, "I'm paralyzed with fear because of the pending merger." Dilbert continues, "Thanks to your leadership I've gone from being unmotivated to being inert." Dilbert says, "I think I'm advancing to the next phase. Hello, rigor mortis!! Take me, I'm ready!!" The Boss walks away thinking, "It might be time for a morale-boosting potluck lunch."
Sunday June 12,
1994
Tags #aa meeting, #ratbert, #fear of computers, #technophobe, #wrong meeting, #alcoholics anonymous, #interupt, #elaborate excuses, #avoid computers, #web of deception
Transcript
Ratbert: My name is Ratbert. I fear the information superhighway. Like most of you, my problem started because I never learned to type. I thought only secretaries needed to type. Then the computers came. At first I dismissed them as mere toys for men with no social skills. Soon they were everywhere. I would invent elaborate excuses to avoid computers. I was caught in my own web of deception. MAN: This is "alcoholics anonymous" Ratbert: I didn't interrupt you. Man: Can we talk about me now?
Sunday January 28,
1996
Tags #fear of action, #festering cynicism, #lame company, #loyalty, #micromanged, #need help, #only one on earth, #physical abnormalities, #six years experince, #downsizing
Transcript
Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dogbert sits on the armrest of the chair. Dilbert says, "I need your help, Dogbert." Dilbert carries Dogbert to the desk as he explains, "My company is downsizing. They told us to write our own job requirements then reapply for our jobs." Dogbert asks, "Why do you want to keep working for such a lame company?" Dilbert quips, "Loyalty!" Dilbert and Dogbert laugh. Dogbert says, "Good one." Dogbert says, "Okay. You must write your job requirements so you are the only one on earth who fits." Dilbert replies, "Right." Dogbert dictates, "The candidate must have six years experience sitting in a big box being micromanaged by a nitwit." Dilbert adds, "The candidate must have a festering cynicism and an acquired fear of action." Dogbert says, "Good." Dilbert says, "That narrows it to ten thousand employees." Dogbert says, "We'll have to focus on your physical abnormalities."
Sunday July 21,
1996
Tags #love, #strongest force, #stupidity, #cousin ignorance, #morning breath, #selfhiness, #lust, #fear, #money, #luck, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert stands by the door putting his coat on. He asks, "Dogbert, do you think love is the strongest force in the universe?" Dogbert replies as they walk down the front steps, "No, I'd have to go with stupidity." They walk outdoors. Dogbert continues, "Followed closely by it's cousin ignorance." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a fence. Dogbert continues, "Morning breath is number three. Thanks for reminding me." Dogbert continues, "Then you've got selfishness, lust, fear, money and luck." Dilbert asks, "But love is in the top ten, right?" Dogbert replies, "It's fourteenth, right after foolish optimism." Dilbert says, "Someone needs his little round back scratched." Dogbert says, "Do not." Dilbert scratches Dogbert's back and asks, "Where's love now?" Dogbert says, "It'd down and to the left . . . LEFT!! LEFT!! LEFT!! Oowahh . . ."
Wednesday March 03,
1999
Tags #people fear public speaking, #fear death, #kill a guy, #scheduled to speak, #sleep, #threats, #dogcart threatens dilbert, #hints at death, #health
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the breakfast table. Dilbert has his lap top in front of him. Dogbert says, "They say people fear public speaking more than they fear death." Dogbert says, "So technically, if you kill a guy who's scheduled to speak, you're doing him a favor." Dogbert says, "When are you going to sleep." Dilbert says, "Never."
Friday May 19,
2000
Tags #perfromance review, #no initiative, #fault, #creating atmosphere, #fear and distrust
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert during his performance review, "You didn't show any initiative this year." Dilbert replies, pointing at the Boss, "That's your fault for creating an atmosphere of fear and distrust. You, you, you." The Boss thinks to himself, "Note to self: Increase fear."
Thursday November 07,
2002
Tags #yemp, #fear of commitment, #one foot out door, #swiped
Transcript
The temp is standing with one leg up in the air. He says to Dilbert, "I'm a temp with a fear of commitment. I keep one foot out the door." Dilbert hands the temp a piece of paper and says, "Whatever. Just take care of this for me. It'll take ten minutes." The temp zips away faster than his clothes can move.
Monday December 09,
2002
Tags #magnetic cancelation wheel, #create free energy, #rule the world, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert is fixing a contraption on the table. He says to Dogbert, "My magnetic- cancellation wheel will create unlimited free energy." Dogbert 's ears fly up and he exclaims, "Buwahaha!!! I will use this technology to rule the world!!!" Dilbert replies, "Um.. It's not yours." Dogbert asks, "What time are you going to bed?"
Tuesday May 18,
2004
Tags #carol, #secreatry, #secret society, #executive secreataries, #rule the world, #own secreatries, #Women, #meeting, #take over the world, #evil overlords, #business
Transcript
Carol: welcome to the secret society of executive secretaries. Today we will wrest power from our evil overlords! Tomorrow we'll rule the world! Then connie pointed out that we'd need our own secretaries and the whole thing fell apart.