Salesman Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

59 Results for Salesman

View 11 - 20 results for salesman comic strips. Discover the best "Salesman" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #salesman, #car, #scam, #money, #mowing, #lawns, #timmy, #recommend, #med, #school

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert asks a customer, "Will this be your first car, Timmy?" Timmy replies, "Yes, sir . . . I saved my money from mowing lawns." Dogbert says, "Let's see how much you have and then I'll pick a car for you." As he counts Timmy's money, Dogbert asks, "Do you like mowing lawns, Timmy?" Timmy replies, "It's okay." Dogbert says, "Good, because I don't recommend med school for you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #car, #salesman, #woman, #old, #steal, #purse, #drive, #foot, #boss, #convince, #first born, #son, #relatives

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to a customer, "I asked the boss to sell it at your price." Dogbert continues, "He told me to drive over your foot and steal your purse." Dogbert continues, "Buy maybe I can convince him to take your first-born son instead." The woman says, "He IS my first-born son!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #salesman, #lawn, #apart, #spend, #scam

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert points to a car and says to a customer, "How about this one?" The man says, "I don't want to spend much. I'm only going to take it apart and leave it on the lawn." The man says, "I gotta be me."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #driving school, #student, #driver, #stereo, #signal, #car, #phone, #defrost, #window, #fishing, #driving, #simulator, #test, #drive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and a boy sit in a car with a "Student Driver" sign on the roof. Dogbert says, "With your right hand, insert a CD into the stereo . . . Good." Dogbert continues, "Now signal left! Answer the car phone! Defrost the rear window! Honk is you love fishing!" The student panics and tosses the phone into the air. Dogbert says, "Fortunately, we're only in the driving simulator." The car is sitting in a dealership showroom. A salesman approaches the car and asks, "Do you boys want to take it for a test drive?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #laptop, #computers, #outdated, #fingernail, #models, #glue, #permanently, #fingers

View Transcript

Transcript

A clerk in a computer store says to Dilbert, "Laptop computers are outdated. You want our new fingernail models." The laptops on the shelf are on sale for 50 cents. The salesclerk explains, "You glue them permanently to each nail. They sense where each finger is at all times. You don't need a keyboard." The salesman continues, "Of course, some people prefer that their computer not know where their fingers are at all times." The computer says to the clerk, "Dave, about last night . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #device, #satellites, #broadcasters, #illegal, #sell, #electronic, #fishing, #lure, #hijack, #hat, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to a store clerk, "I'm looking for a device that will allow me to take over the satellites of all the major broadcasters." The salesclerk winks as he says, "It would be illegal to sell something like that. But maybe you'd be interested in an electronic fishing lure instead." The salesman continues winking as he says, "Fish can't resist the 'Hijack 3000' lure. And it comes with its own stupid-looking hat!" Dogbert says, "Clever."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #lottery tickets, #sale, #value, #yesterdays lottery, #half priced lottery, #cheat, #scam, #Dogbert, #salesman, #scammer, #office dog, #customer

View Transcript

Transcript

"What makes these a 'value'?" "Value priced lottery tickets" "They're half the normal price, and yet the chance of winning is only one in ten million less." "Hey! This is for yesterday's lottery!" "And your point is...?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #device conforms, #international standards, #communications, #not fault, #less experineced, #boss phone number, #vendor, #salesman

View Transcript

Transcript

"Our device conforms to all international standards for communications." "In other words, it doesn't do anything useful and it's not your fault." "Is there somebody less experienced I could talk to?" "Do you have my boss's number?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 1995's comic on:


Tags #most user freindly, #computer, #pre insatlled, #software, #one button, #leaves factory, #over my head, #tech support number, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is in a computer retail store. The salesman points to a computer and explains, ". . . but by far, this computer is our most user-friendly." The salesman continues, "The pre-installed software has only one button. And we press it before it leaves the factory." Dilbert asks, "What does it do?" The salesman waves his hands and says, "Whoa! I'm in over my head. Let me give you their tech support number."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #underpants, #bought, #house, #capitalism, #dinosaur, #case, #case studies, #idiot, #computers

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dilbert special! Bob the Dinosaur will rip the underpants off guys we hate!" Bob pulls the underwear off a man. The caption says, "Case #1." A man smoking a pipe and wearing a turtleneck says, ". . . Bought my first house for 75 cents. Sold it a year later for 400,000 dollars . . ." The man screams as Bob pulls his underwear off. Bob says, "Now he drives a 'Beemer.'" The caption says, "Case #2." A man says, "It's a great movie. You'll be surprised when you find out the parakeet is the murderer." The man screams as Bob pulls off his boxer shorts. Bob says, "I love surprises!" The caption says, "Case #3." A car salesman says, "Wait here and I'll try to convince my boss to sell the car at your price." The man screams when Bob pulls off his underwear. Bob says, "He's on your side!" The caption says, "Finally . . ." Dilbert says, "Only an idiot would thing computers are confusing."