Search Results for "selfish"
Share February 06, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert points to a slide, "My project is in a flaming death spiral, thanks to you lazy, selfish weasels." Dilbert continues, "But I'm feeling terrific because I'm taking mood-altering prescription drugs!" Dilbert continues, "I can see by your expressions that my doctor is much better than yours!" He points fingers from both hands and exclaims, "Hoo-wah!"
Share March 01, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert, Wally, and Alice approach The Boss. Dilbert says, "We demand that you fire our toxic co-worker." Wally turns to Dilbert and asks, "You aren't talking about me, are you?" Dilbert turns and says, "No, you're lazy and ineffectual with an overlay of selfish." Wally asks, "And I hate the toxic guy?"
Share March 30, 2004's comic on:
Doctor Dogbert Show "Your problem is that you're a lazy, selfish, immoral moron." "Shouldn't you listen to my story before passing judgement?" "I'm adding 'time waster' to the list." "You're like a miracle worker."
Share November 06, 2004's comic on:
Catbert: The number one complaint from employees is 'unclear objectives.' The Boss: My number one complaint is that it takes too much effort for me to be clear. Catbert: Lets call it a tie. The bossL what are they so selfish?
Share December 13, 2005's comic on:
"I'm starting Dogbert's Selfish Cell Phone Company." "It has no phone number. You can call people and bother them when they're busy, but they can't do the same to you." "Hi Mom. Oh, nothing. I'm just walking someplace." "STOP BOTHERING ME!"
Share May 27, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "I didn't work on your request this week because my computer is broken and my company is too cheap to replace it." Dilbert says, "I tried to borrow one, but the people I work with are a bunch of selfish tools." A man says, "Maybe I shouldn't take you on sales calls." Dilbert says, "So I built a tiny fort out of coffee stirrers."
Share October 13, 2008's comic on:
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "My salary is 400 times more than yours." Dogbert says, "My goal is to jack that up to 410, maybe 420." A woman says, "I hate you for this." Dogbert says, "So you admit you're selfish?"
Share December 08, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting in his cubicle. A coworker approaches and says, "My vacation was great!" The coworker continues, "The sunsets were beautiful. The food was amazing." Dilbert turns and says, "Descriptions of your vacation serve no purpose." Dilbert continues, "I can neither see the sunsets nor taste the food." Dilbert continues, "It appears to be a selfish attempt to trigger happy memories for yourself at my expense.' The coworker responds, "Okay, buster! When my seven rolls of film get developed.." She exclaims, "You're out of the loop!!!" The coworker leaves and Dilbert whistles and thinks to himself, "That worked out better than I hoped."
Share April 27, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert stands at the supermarket register. The clerk asks, "Paper or plastic bag?" The checker continues, "Paper that can be recycled . . . Or an evil, selfish, short-sighted, planet-destroying, stupid plastic bag?!!" Dilbert answers, "Plastic." The checker says, "Good. That's all we have."
Share March 30, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to Washington to be an economic advisor." Dogbert continues, "I'll recommend a tax rebate for all dogs. It's the only fair way to stimulate the economy." Dilbert says, "Sounds like a selfish ploy to line your pockets at the expense of others." Dogbert replies, "Potato, po-TAH-to . . ."