Selling Products Comic Strips - Page 2

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201 Results for Selling Products

View 11 - 20 results for selling products comic strips. Discover the best "Selling Products" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apple, #consumer prodcuts, #lust after products, #magic, #magic dust, #nose, #smell, #technology

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Dogbert: This is the magic dust that Apple puts on all of its consumer products to make you lust after them. I wouldn't sniff it if I were you. Terrific. Now I feel compelled to get a nose like yours for no rational reason.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #tina, #sales, #department, #boss, #new, #hurt, #customers, #new guy, #despise, #account, #i hate you

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A woman approaches Dilbert and says, "So . . . Dilbert, welcome to the sales department. I'm Tina, your new boss." Dilbert holds out his hand and says, "Hi." Tina says, "As the new guy, you get the customers who despise our products and want to hurt us personally." A man climbs onto Dilbert's back and beats him on the head while yelling, "I hate you! I hate you!" Tina says, "You'll be selling to the small business market. He's your best account."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #training, #company, #overpriced, #inferior, #products, #quotas, #illegally

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Dilbert sits at a table with training materials in front of him. The speaker says, "Welcome to sales training." The man continues, "As you know, our company makes over-priced, inferior products. We try to compensate by setting high sales quotas." The instructor continues, "We don't ASK you to act illegally, but it's pretty much the only way to reach quota. Okay, that's it for training. Any questions?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #engaged, #diamond, #wrings, #selling, #tv, #shopping, #channel, #list, #price, #hundred, #dollars

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Linda says to Dilbert, Wally and Ted, "Look everyone, I'm engaged!" Dilbert says, "Hey, it's one of those 'near diamond' rings they were selling on the tv shopping channel for $29.95." Linda looks angry. Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Of course it has a list price of over a hundred dollars . . ." As Linda walks away Wally says to Dilbert, "Ooh, good save."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #collective, #nerd, #demand, #discounts, #wireless, #e-mail, #products, #daughter, #phone, #Number

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Dogbert sits across from a man's desk and says, "I am Dogbert, leader of Venod - a huge collective of nerds. We demand twenty percent discounts on all of your products." Dogbert continues, "If you refuse, I will send a wireless e-mail message that instructs one million nerds to stop buying your products." The executive asks, "You're kidding, right?" Dogbert says, "There - I just sent them your daughter's phone number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #blame, #consultant, #willy, #individual, #employee, #innovative, #products, #pioneer, #markets, #processor, #stinks

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Dogbert is hired as a blame consultant. Dogbert: The company's problems are your fault, Willy. You blame the senior executives, but it is you- the individual employee-who must build innovative new products and pioneer new markets. Willy: But I'm just a word processor I was hired to type. Dogbert: I've seen your typing. That stinks too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #delight customers, #fire everybody, #price of products, #slogan, #stop meetings, #we waste your money

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The Boss: "We must constantly ask ourselves what we can do to delight our customers." Alice: "We could stop having these meetings, fire everybody in the room and lower the prices of our products." The Boss: "I was thinking more alone the lines of a slogan." Wally: "How about, 'we waste your money'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big tech show, #curly haired guys, #salmon, #spawning opportunites, #vast sea, #indistinct products, #trade show, #facial hair

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Dilbert: I'm going to the big technology show. Dogbert: what do you do there? Dilbert: I will wade though vast sea of mostly curly haired guys with facials hair and glasses and I will look at thousands of indistinct products, Dilbert: Its like salmon returning to it birthplace. Dogbert: But without the spawning opportunities,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new strategy, #tech support, #that customers, #user manual, #defective products

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The Boss: Our new strategy is to make defective products and charge for technical support. Heh- heh ...our user manual is totally incomprehensible. we didn't plan it that way - we were lucky, Dilbert: Im so proud to be here. The Boss: It all came together when I realized I hate our customers.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #planning to focus, #products killing people, #steal office supplies, #studies are flawed, #urban areas, #advertising

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"Dogbert: Ethics Advisor" "We know our products are killing people, but we're claiming the studies are flawed." "We're planning to focus our advertising on the youth markets in poor urban areas." "So, given all that, is it okay for me to steal office supplies?" "I'd have to say yes."