Shake Well Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

969 Results for Shake Well

View 11 - 20 results for shake well comic strips. Discover the best "Shake Well" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sacrificial lamb, #head count vacancy, #budget cut, #shake hands, #get attached

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss introduces a new man to Dilbert. The boss says, "Dilbert, meet our new sacrifial lamb." The boss says, "I filled our headcount vacancy so we have someone to dump after the next budget cut." The lamb says, "Should we shake hands?" The boss says, "I don't want to get attached."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #completes portion, #project, #well engineered, #squadron, #idiots, #ruin, #marketing, #napping, #use ears, #coasters, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert types at his computer and thinks, "This completes my portion of the project." Dilbert thinks, "This project is so well-engineered it would take a squadron of idiots to ruin it." Caption: "Meanwhile in Marketing" A stupid looking man dressed very sloppily says, "And when I'm napping, it is NOT okay to use my ears as coasters."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart consults, #e commerce sight, #well documented, #flying pigs, #coolest part

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults the Boss. Dogbert says, "My team can build an e-commerce site for you." Dogbert continues, "It will be so well-documented that your I.S. group can easily maintain it." The Boss gathers his employees as he explains, "But the coolest part is that the documentation will be delivered by flying pigs."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feel harassed, #multi celled life form, #resume, #shake hands, #yelp

View Transcript

Transcript

During an interview, the Boss says to the cell "Your resume says you're a multi-celled life form." The Boss continues, "That's exactly what we're looking for!" The Boss begins shaking the cell. "I'm trying to shake hands. If you feel harassed in any way just let out a yelp."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus, #did well, #hiring freeze, #shrink empire, #hand shaking situation, #hand, #questioning clean

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is sitting at his desk. The Boss approaches from behind with a check in hand. He says, "The company did well so you get a bonus despite the fact you did no work all year." After handing Wally the check, The Boss continues, "I'd fire you but I can't replace you because there's a hiring freeze and I don't want to shrink my empire." The Boss fidgets nervously and says, "This might be a hand-shaking situation but I don't know where your hand has been." Wally continues to stare at his check and brushes The Boss with, "Off you go."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #michael t. suit, #core competencies, #platforms, #did we shake?

View Transcript

Transcript

A headless, handless man says to Dilbert, "Hi. My name is Michael T. Suit. All my friends call me M.T." M.T. continues, "I enhance core competencies by leveraging platforms." Dilbert is gone. M.T. continues, "Did we shake yet? Sometimes I can't tell."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bankruptcy, #bring executives, #money, #shake at roof, #sold stock, #money falling

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to Tina, "This is a list of our executives who sold stock before announcing bankruptcy." Alice continues, "My plan is to bring each executive to the roof, hold him by the ankles, and shake." Tina stands on the sidewalk with an open bag. Money and personals fall from the roof. Tina says, "Ooh! A cat comb!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #performance review, #two jobs, #well, #attaboy, #no budget for raise, #cheapen

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Performance Review. The Boss says to Dilbert, "You did two jobs for a year and you did them well." The Boss continues, "I have no budget for raises, so all I can offer is an attaboy." The Boss continues, "The problem is: I don't want to cheapen the whole attaboy system."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ring thingy, #grew up and moved away, #worked well, #children grew, #while working

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting at his desk. The phone rings. The Boss thinks, "Ringy thingy." The Boss picks up the phone. The voice at the other end says, "While you were working, your children grew up and moved away." After the phone call, The Boss sits and thinks, "I've never had a plan that worked so well."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #enormous brain, #world changing, #no pay, #no cubilce, #cling to ceiling, #interviews well

View Transcript

Transcript

"If you hire me, I will use my enormous brain to develop world-changing products." "I require no pay and no cubicle. I will eat used paper, and cling to the ceiling." The Boss: "In my defense, he interviews very well." "Zzzz."