Sharp Objects Comic Strips - Page 2

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24 Results for Sharp Objects

View 11 - 20 results for sharp objects comic strips. Discover the best "Sharp Objects" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #diet, #expect, #hysterical, #laughing, #sharp focus, #expectations, #outburst, #health

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The Boss: I should warn you that I'm on a diet and might not have the sharp focus that you've come to expect from me. Asok: "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" "I thought of something funny totally on my own."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2002's comic on:


Tags #new house, #next week, #heavy objects, #help, #cares about career, #professional companies exist, #move things, #wonderful system, #mobile home, #trailer

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Dilbert is sitting in his cubicle. The Boss approaches and says, "I'm moving to a new house next week." The Boss continues, "I have lots of heavy objects that need to be moved." The Boss continues, "I wonder who will help me." The Boss continues, "Maybe it will be someone who cares about his career." Dilbert turns and asks, "Did you know that professional moving companies exist?" Dilbert continues, "It's true. You give them money and they move your heavy things." Dilbert continues, "It's a wonderful system. You should look into it." The Boss says to Carol, "And maybe you can bring your trailer." Carol exclaims, "It's a mobile home!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1994's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #reincarnation fund, #rich already, #customer, #needs help, #van

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Dogbert: Invest you money in my reincarnation fund and you'll be rich in a future life. Man: But I a rich in this life, for I have love in my heart and music in my soul. So, can you help me push my van home? Dogbert: It looks like you'll also have sharp pain in your muscles.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #hire temp, #apply for job, #ratbert, #all of the respect, #unconditional love, #office and secretary

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert stands on the desk. Dilbert says, "We're planning to hire a temp at work. You should apply for the job, Ratbert." Ratbert replies, "Wow! Me? A temp?!" Ratbert continues, "As a temp I would finally get all of the respect and unconditional love that I deserve!!" Dilbert thinks, "Danger: sharp learning curve ahead." Ratbert says, "I assume I'll get an office and a secretary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 1995's comic on:


Tags #accounting dept, #expense report, #soul, #soul check, #tak a seat

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Dilbert approaches a window labeled "Soul Check" where a clerk who looks like a demon is standing. He says to the clerk behind the window, "If it's okay, I'll hold onto my soul while I visit the accounting department." Dilbert is in the accounting department, talking to another demonlike clerk seated at a desk. Dilbert says, "I came to answer your questions about my expense report." The clerk replies, "Take a seat." Dilbert notices there are no seats, but only sharp, pointed stalagmites and stalactites in the cavelike room. He thinks to himself, "I don't like the way this is starting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 1989's comic on:


Tags #letter, #phone call, #prison, #postage

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The telephone rings. Dilbert picks up the phone and says, "Hello." The voice on the other end says, "This is the governor . . ." The governor says, "Do you remember that snotty letter you wrote about prison overcrowding? We thought YOU might want to look after one of our guys for thiry or forty years." The doorbell rings. A large man in a prison uniform says, "Hi. I'm Bob. My friends would call me 'Strangler' if they were alive." Bob carries a suitcase into the house and asks, "So, where do you keep the blunt objects? Sure is crowded in here." Dilbert clenches his fist and says, "Ooh! I am so tempted to fire off another letter over this!!" Dogbert says, "Yeah! 'Postage due' this time!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #magnetism, #domesticated, #creatures

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The caption says, "To the ancients it was known as the 'Time of Degauss.'" Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. The caption says, "Every thousand years, the animal magnetism of domesticated creatures reverses." Dogbert's ears fly up. The caption says, "The result can be catastrophic . . ." Silverware flies out of a drawer and the toaster flies off the shelf. The caption says, ". . . Or dogastrophic." Dogbert runs away from the flying metal objects that are attracted by his magnetism. Dogbert runs through Dilbert's legs. The caption says, "Soon the field stabilizes, and the threat is forgotten." The silverware pins Dilbert to the wall. Dogbert says, "That reminds me - what's for supper tonight?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #new ceo, #turnaround expert, #pleasure to meet, #business process, #value based, #management method

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Alice, the boss, Wally, Asok and a new guy with big sharp teeth and horns on his head are in a meeting. The new guy looks like the devil. The boss directs evryone's attention to him and says, "This our new CEO. He has a reputation as a turnaround expert." Asok says, "It is a pleasure to meet you. Do you favor TQM or more of a business process approach?" The new guy replies, "I'm partial to the value-based management method." Asok says, "I'm not familiar with that one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2004's comic on:


Tags #approval, #new safety manual, #wear protective gloves, #safety goggles, #blood, #grabbed

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Wally: I need your approval on the new safety manual. The Boss: "Gaaa!!! Sharp edges!! Gaaa!!! It grabbed my hand!!!" Wally: "Chapter One: Wear protective gloves and safety goggles at all times." The Boss: "Aaaiieee!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #workplace injuries, #10 thousand percent, #new safety manuals, #website, #blood pressure rising, #technology

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Wally: "Workplace injuries are up ten thousand percent since I distributed the new safety manuals." "The binders have sharp edges and, apparently, a curse. I asked Asok to help put it on our website." Asok: "Hands... So numb. Eyes... Strained. Blood pressure rising..."