Shave Beard Comic Strips - Page 2

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34 Results for Shave Beard

View 11 - 20 results for shave beard comic strips. Discover the best "Shave Beard" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2002's comic on:


Tags #grow beard, #while unemployed, #message, #who you are, #shopping cart, #filthy rags

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Dogbert is sitting on Dilbert's bed. Dilbert asks, "Do you think I should grow a beard while I'm unemployed?" Dogbert replies, "That's a great idea. A beard sends a message about who you are." Dilbert responds, "Um.. Okay." Dogbert says, "I assume you already have a shopping cart and filthy rags."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2002's comic on:


Tags #flirting, #non smoker, #oil him up, #ordering repair guy, #shave back, #tall, #repair guy, #copier

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Carol says into the telephone, "And I'd like the copier repair guy to be a tall non- smoker with well-defined abs." Carol continues, "Oh. You're not a dating service, eh? Well if I give you money and you send some guy then it's just semantics." Carol continues, "And could you shave his back and oil him up before you send him?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2003's comic on:


Tags #coffee rehadb, #rip beard, #death, #state name, #coffee addicting withdrawl, #sleeping, #mean, #nasty, #cutting, #violent, #falls asleep, #medical

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Headline: Coffee Rehab. A man stands at a podium and says, "State your name and how long you've been without coffee." The audience is asleep except for one angry patient who says, "I am going to rip off your little beard and beat you to death with it." The man at the podium thinks to himself, "Don't panic... wait... wait...." The angry patient continues, "And then I'll... um... zzzzzzz, zzzzz, zzz."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #alice, #downsized, #now ork, #no shave legs, #arrested, #ice cream, #sasquatch, #tv news report

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Alice: "The good thing about being downsized is that I don't need to shave my legs." "It grows fast, but who's going to notice?" TV REPORTER: "Police surrounded a convenience store where Sasquatch attempted to buy 'Haagen Dazs.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #bad news coming, #time stopped, #grows beard, #eternity later, #boss forgets

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Dilbert: Time has stopped until my boss gives me the bad news that he hinted was coming. Maybe I'll use the time to invent a new language and grow a beard. An Eternity later Dilbert: EE_YO NEBABA WANPONU GREP> The boss: I forgot why I wanted to talk to you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2004's comic on:


Tags #grew beard, #waiting for boss, #noexercise, #bearded guys no discipline, #even numbered pages, #suspenders, #cigars, #restaurant

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Dilbert: "I grew a beard while waiting for my boss to get off the phone." "Then I realized I don't need to exercise because no one expects bearded guys to have any discipline." "I'll have everything on the even-numbered pages, a cigar and ...Do you sell suspenders?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2009's comic on:


Tags #punishment, #beard, #mislead, #book, #worker, #background check, #innocent, #screaming

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The Boss says, "Ted, I just got the results of your security clearance background check." The Boss says, "Homeland security ordered me to beat you to death with our emergency preparedness binder." Ted says, "But?.I haven't done anything wrong!" The Boss says, "I might have said some things about your new beard."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #brilliant, #moron, #appearance, #superficial, #beard, #silent, #Funny, #business

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The Boss says, "I invited silent Gary to help us decide on a technology direction." The Boss says, "We think he's a genius because he has a beard and he never speaks." The Boss says, "Gary, do you think we should use open source software for our support platform?" The Boss says, "Here it comes. He's rubbing his beard and giving me creepy eye contact." THe Boss says, "I detect a slight hint of disgust. It means Gary hates the idea! The Boss says, "Yes, it's all so obvious now. This is the worst idea in the history of mankind." The Boss says, "THe meeting is over. Silent Gary has spoken." Dilbert says, "You're actually a moron, aren't you?" Gary says, "Don't ruin this for me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2013's comic on:


Tags #economic policy, #nobel winning, #economist, #fiscal policy, #beard, #daily water waster

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Dogbert: I brought a Nobel-winning economist to tell you why everything you say about fiscal policy is wrong. Economist: For starters, if you knew anything about economics you would have a beard. Dogbert: The first few minutes are mostly trash talk. Economist: Ha! You bathe daily, water-waster!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2013's comic on:


Tags #charitable organizations, #competition (psychology), #raise money, #shave head, #bald man

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Boss: If we raise $40,000 for charity, I will shave my head! Wally: And if we raise no money at all, I will shave my head. Boss: That's messed up. Wally: Is it?