Search Results for "smart employees"
Share February 11, 2011's comic on:
Catbert says, "Facebook has created a giant robot arm to steal talented employees from other companies." Catbert says, "It's here!!!" Catbert says, "No, it looks like we got the giant condescending Facebook robot arm instead."
Share February 18, 2011's comic on:
Office relocation Alice says, "Your floor plan puts me between a loud talker and a chronic flatulator." Tina says, "I could move you to a cubicle between a guy who clears his throat all day and a woman who laughs too much." Alice says, "Is this because I once said you aren't smart enough to be an engineer?" Tina says, "Look what I engineered?" Office Relocation
Share October 10, 2011's comic on:
Share January 05, 2012's comic on:
Share January 15, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Out budget for contact employees was eliminated. We'll have to pay you out of the training budget. So instead of doing the job yourself... you'll have to train Dilbert to do the job we're paying you to do. Dilbert: Why don't you just move some of the training budget to the contractor budget? Boss: If we reduce the training budget this year, we'll get less next year. Dilbert: So... you prefer paying two people to do the job of one? Boss: Right. Consultant: How do you stay in business? Boss: Our customers are even dumber than us.
Share January 25, 1990's comic on:
A doctor says to Dilbert, "It seems we had a mix-up with your test results." Dilbert asks, "Then I'm not dying?" The doctor replies, "We doctors are amazingly smart, but occasionally we make a little error." Dilbert says, "Well . . . I understand." The physician looks at a chart and says, "By the way, your pap smear was normal."
Share February 20, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed. Dilbert says, "I've got a blind date with the lady who works at the library reference desk." Dogbert asks, "What if she's ugly?" Dilbert replies, "Looks aren't important. She sounded very smart over the phone, and I'm attracted to intelligent women." Dogbert says, "Oh . . . right." Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Should I talk, or will you be reading my thoughts directly?"
Share February 22, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert and a woman with a huge head sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Gosh, Brainella, I've never dated a woman as smart as you before . . ." Dilbert says, "Let's just start right in talking about all kinds of smart stuff. C'mon, give me your best shot. I'm not intimidated." Brainella replies, "Not here. If your brain explodes, it'll ruin my outfit."
Share March 03, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk reading a memo. Dilbert reads, "Urgent memo to all employees:" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. Looks important." Dilbert continues reading, "If we are to remain competitive, you must proactively improve quality on all actionable items!" Dilbert says, "Wow! That was inspiring. My heart is pounding. I'm all tingly . . . I'd better take the rest of the day off . . ."