Sociopath Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

22 Results for Sociopath

View 11 - 20 results for sociopath comic strips. Discover the best "Sociopath" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #sociopath, #obliviousness, #tell-all

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: There's a new tell-all book about our company. CEO: How bad is it? Dilbert: It's bad. Anonymous sources within the company say you're a "raging sociopath with the intellect of a clam." CEO: Put out a press release denying those lies! Dilbert: That's going to be tricky to write. CEO: Just say I deny being a sociopath with the mind of a clam. Also say I hope whoever said that about me dies a slow and terrible death. Is that clear? Dilbert: Yes, on many levels.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #taxes, #sociopth, #victimless crime, #insider information, #hedge fund, #split profit, #tax people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: The great thing about being a sociopath is that everything feels like a victimless crime. If you give me some insider information for my hedge fund, I'll split the profit with you. Think of it as a tax on people you don't know. CEO: That's the best kind!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 1999's comic on:


Tags #everyone can come, #blame traffic, #sociopth, #get enough sleep

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says to Dilbert: "I scheduled the meeting for 6:00 A.M. so everyone can make it." Dilbert says to the boss: "I assume you'll show up at eight o'clock and blame the traffic." The boss walks away and says: "The great thing about being a sociopath is that I always get enough sleep."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #speakerphone, #annoy coworkers, #sociopth, #bit loud, #eating lunch, #delicious

View Transcript

Transcript

Ron is sitting at his desk. He thinks to himself, "If I use the speakerphone it will annoy my co-workers." He continues thinking, "Luckily for me, I'm a sociopath." Dilbert approaches from behind and says, "Two things: you're a bit loud... and you're eating my lunch." Ron responds, "It's delicious."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2001's comic on:


Tags #the sociopth, #typing is optional, #eaten before, #some bread

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: The Sociopath. Ron and Alice are sitting across from each other at restaurant table. Ted says, "Tipping is optional so I never do it." Alice looks surprised. She asks, "Um.. have you eaten here before?" A waitress approaches the table and angrily throws bread at Ron, hitting him on the head. She grunts, "Here's some bread." Alice looks on nervously.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I disappoint people, but I'm learning to enjoy it." "The key to happiness is to love who you are, not who others want you to be." "Doesn't that make you a sociopath?" "Yeah. I love that about me."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2010's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #role model, #angry, #sociopath, #annoyed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "You're doing a great job as a role model." Dogbert says, "Half of your employees have already turned into pudgy sociopaths." Dogbert says, "And they're quick to anger."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #talking, #vendor, #pitching, #idea, #praying, #agreeing, #begging, #promises, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "We have the best hidden costs of any vendor." Man says, "Our upgrade and maintenance fees won't kick in until you've already received a bonus for reducing costs." Man thinks, "Please, please, please be a sociopath." Wally says, "Sounds good. I'm not a big fan of our stockholders."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #email, #angry, #annoyed, #memory, #coworker, #violence, #slam face on smartphone, #front of mind

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "You didn't answer my e-mail." Coworker says, "I don't check e-mail often." Alice says, "The whole point of e-mail is that you check it often." Alice says, "Are you an idiot or some sort of digital sociopath?" Coworker says, "Sometimes I don't remember to check it." Alice says, "You seem like a visual learner, so let me show you how to keep e-mail in the front of your mind." Alice says, "Is this your smartphone?" Coworker says, "Yes." BAM! Alice says, "Now it's in the front of your mind. Get it?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #antisocial, #conversation, #uncomfortable, #awkward, #Women, #technology, #discussion

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: It is hard to be a woman in this industry. Dilbert: I'll let you take this one. Wally: Got it. I'm short, bald, and nearsighted. I have no ambition, and I have all the sign of being a sociopath. I am unattractive and too old for the tech industry., I am shaped like a sad turnip and I do not make people laugh. Alice: What are you hens clucking about now? Tina: I can't begin to tell you how much I want to change the subject.