Solve Problems Comic Strips - Page 2

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222 Results for Solve Problems

View 11 - 20 results for solve problems comic strips. Discover the best "Solve Problems" comics from Dilbert.com.

Solves Too Few Problems

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Solves Too Few Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #proposal, #problems, #quitter

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boss: your proposed solution is dumb because it doesn't solve all of our problems. dilbert: there's no such thing as a solution that solves all our problems. maybe we should solve the ones we can solve? boss: you're coming off as a quitter

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #layer of management, #meeting disaster, #senior management, #warning the layer above, #dont mention problems

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Alice sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Don't mention any problems when you do your presentation to senior management, Alice." The Boss continues, "They might try to solve the problems during the meeting. That would be a disaster." Alice tells Dilbert, "As far as I can tell, every layer of management exists for the sole purpose of warning us about the layer above." Dilbert akss, "Are you saying they have a purpose?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #old job, #network systems, #asminstrator, #reckless abuse, #power, #new ethernet card, #solve problem, #big pile, #office

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dilbert eats potato chips. Dogbert announces, "I'm going back to my old job as a network systems administrator." Dilbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert offers Dogbert some chips as Dogbert says, "I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power." Asok the Intern sits at his computer and looks at Dogbert who is waving an ethernet card at him. Dogbert says, "This new ethernet card could solve your problems. Would you like a sniff before I throw it in a big pile in my office?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #programming skills, #next hire, #python, #java, #php, #solve, #ignorance problems, #gap in knowledge, #string theory, #graviton

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Boss; What programming skills should I be looking for in our next home? Dilbert: Jquery, ruby,HTML5, Python , Java , PHO and of course, C++ BOSS: Maybe you could wrote this down. Dilbert: Sure. That should totally solve your ignorance problem. Are there any other gaps in your knowledge that I can fix by writing things down? Dilbert: How about string theory? I can explain that in a few words. Graviton....supersymmetry....perturbation...M-theory. Boss: I know string theory now.

I Need Solutions Not Unexpected Problems

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I Need Solutions Not Unexpected Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #authority, #convincing, #managers, #managers & supervisors, #launch deadline, #solutions, #unexpected problems, #business

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Boss: Are you going to meet the launch deadline? Dilbert: No. There were unexpected problems. Boss: I need solutions, not unexpected problems! Did that mean anything? Dilbert: Almost. Good try.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #problems, #talking, #solution, #obliviousness, #criticism, #honesty

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Boss: Why didn't you tell me our biggest vendor pulled out of the deal? Dilbert: If I told you my problems, you would suggest solutions. Your solutions generally don't make sense. But you are my boss, so I would be obliged to waste time looking into your suggestions. So if you try to solve my problem, I will have two problems instead of one. Boss: Sometimes my ideas are good! Right? Dilbert: That is a dangerous way to think.

Unforseen Problems

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Unforseen Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #building apps, #completion date, #problems, #unforseen

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Dilbert: It will take four weeks to build the app, unless there are unforeseen problems. how often do we have unforeseen problems? Dilbert: One hundred percent of the time. Then whats the point of estimating a completion date? Dilbert: I was hoping to make you stop talking but t dint work.

Anticipate Problems

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Anticipate Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #anticipate, #finishing, #friday, #punctual, #anticipating, #things, #problems

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Man: Do you anticipate any problems finishing by Friday? Wally: I do not. Man: Is that because you're punctual or because you aren't good at anticipating things? Wally: I don't foresee any unforeseen problems. Man: Okay. Wait...

Where The Problems Are

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Where The Problems Are - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #application, #app, #technology, #improvement, #dumb, #implement, #problems, #insult, #face mask

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co-worker: do you have any suggestions for improving the app? dilbert: yes, but you are far too dumb to implement any of them, so i won't bother. co-worker: at least tell me where the problems are. dilbert pointing at co-worker: the big ones are all in this big bag of skin.

Universe Preparing Problems

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Universe Preparing Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #universe, #preparing, #problems, #anger, #laptop, #hate

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dilbert thinking in from of laptop: uh-oh. i don't seem to have any actual problems today. the universe hates it when i have no problems. it must be preparing a big one. dilbert yelling: what's it gonna be this time, universe?! carol: i'll come back.