Spelled Jokes Comic Strips - Page 2

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48 Results for Spelled Jokes

View 11 - 20 results for spelled jokes comic strips. Discover the best "Spelled Jokes" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 1994's comic on:


Tags #large dart, #preservation, #spotted chipmunk, #tranquilize male, #write newsletter, #dead chipmunk, #jokes

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Dilbert: I joined the spotted chipmunk preservation society. We're going to tranquilize the last known male and unite it with a female. Wally: There he is! POW! THUNK! Wally: When you think about it, thats an awfully large dart to use on a chipmunk. woman: Its Dilberts turn to write the newsletter. Dogbert: Trust me, Humor is the way to go, It eases tension. Dilbert: Yeah, but the whole issue of dead chipmunk jokes?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #internet, #al gore, #information superhighway, #share ideas, #blonde jokes, #flirt college women, #chat area, #technology

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Wally: Can we cut this short? Id like to get back to the information superhighway. The Boss: Sure. Im glad we connected you all to the internet so you can share ideas with colleagues. Wally: yeah, thats right, I want to go share ideas with my colleagues. Dilbert: Do people really share ideas with colleagues? Wally: If I get an idea, Im not sharing. Wally: I think I'll channel over to the internet chat area and flirt with college women. Dilbert: Im still reading through five megs of blonde jokes. Dilbert: I wonder if Al Gore has any idea.... Al Gore: Hey Tipper, heres another good one! hee hee!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2002's comic on:


Tags #30 thousand employees, #emails jokes per week, #file bankruptcy, #lost prodcutivity, #ten million, #holding employee responsible

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Catbert says to Tina, "Tina, our records show that you forward an average of nineteen e-mail jokes per week." Catbert continues, "Each joke goes to 30,000 employees, costing us ten million per year in lost productivity." Catbert concludes, "We plan to blame you when we file for bankruptcy next week." Tina is visibly worried.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2004's comic on:


Tags #email, #face on cows butt, #morale, #objects, #off color jokes, #photoshopped

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The boss: "Alice, you've ben accused of forwarding off-color jokes by e-mail." The Boss: "Do you object to the increase in morale or the nickel it cost the company so far?" "I object to my face being photoshopped to a cow's butt." Alice: "You object to art?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2010's comic on:


Tags #collect money, #ted, #birthday, #insult, #pinch face, #lemon, #ferret, #disgusting, #racist jokes, #embezzle, #date, #awkward, #dollar

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Tina says, "I'm collecting money for Ted's birthday." Alice says, "Pass. I can't stand that idiot." Alice says, "His face looks like a ferret eating a lemon." Alice says, "He makes my skin crawl." Alice says, "He tells racist jokes, and I think he's embezzling." Tina says, "I've been dating him for a month." Alice says, "I'd be lying if I said that wasn't worth a dollar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2000's comic on:


Tags #an olympic gold medal, #apply own job, #emailed jokes, #fired, #posthumous medal, #reclassification of job, #requires phd, #synchronized swimming 1992, #top ten signs

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Ted asks, "Am I fired?" The Boss, sitting at his desk, answers, "Of course not, Ted. I enjoy e-mailed jokes as much as anyone." Ted smiles as The Boss says, "I'm still laughing about your 'Top Ten Signs That Your Boss Is a Hairless Rodent'." The Boss says, "I asked you here to discuss the reclassification of your job." The Boss says, "Starting today, the job requires a Ph.D. Feel free to apply for your own job." Ted says, "Whew! Luckily, I have a Ph.D." The Boss says, "You do? Well, the job also requires an Olympic Gold Medal." Holding up the medal around his neck, Ted says, "Synchronized Swimming, 1992." The Boss says, "And a posthumous Congressional Medal of Honor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2013's comic on:


Tags #dating, #frustration, #relations between the sexes, #modern world, #purpose of men, #money, #bad jokes, #faltulence, #useless men, #pondering on importance, #relationships

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Woman: I'm not sure what function men serve in the modern world. My job pays well, so I have all the money I need. If something in my house breaks, I either fix it or pay someone to fix it. If I want a baby, I'll call a fertility doctor. In today's world, men are little more than carriers of bad jokes and flatulence. My gardener mows my lawn. Dilbert: I get it!!! Dogbert: That is disturbing. Dilbert: Not compared to the alternatives.

Narcissist

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Narcissist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #confused, #ego, #jokes, #sarcasm

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Tina: You're a narcissist. Dilbert: You would need an inflated sense of your own importance to believe you can read my mind to compare my opinion of myself to your opinion of my worth. Tina: Huh? Dilbert: Sometimes my jokes are just for me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 1989's comic on:


Tags #joke telling, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #beer, #cactus, #timing, #jokes

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The caption says, "Dilbert demonstrates the art of joke telling." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on chairs across from each other. Dilbert says, ". . . So the first guy orders a beer and a cactus . . ." The caption says, "A good joke teller will seek to establish a pattern." Dilbert continues, ". . . Then the second guy . . . Heh, heh . . . Orders a beer and a cactus . . ." The caption says, "Tomorrow's lesson: timing." Dilbert continues, ". . . So then the seventy-third guy comes in . . ." Dogbert is asleep.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #chainsaw, #weasel, #prune, #computer, #skipper

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Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer and Dogbert sits next to him. Dilbert says, "My computer has determined the funniest words in the world . . ." Dilbert continues, "They include: chainsaw, weasel, prune and any reference to 'Gilligan's Island.' Now I can make my own jokes!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, ". . . So then the skipper gets attacked by this prune-eating weasel with a chainsaw . . ." Dogbert laughs.