Spray Paint The Oadkill Comic Strips - Page 2

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View 11 - 20 results for spray paint the oadkill comic strips. Discover the best "Spray Paint The Oadkill" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cosmetics, #relations between the sexes, #awful smell, #new fragrance, #pepper spray, #half gym sock, #dual purpose, #odiferous moat, #weaker applicants, #tweak

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Dilbert: What's that awful smell? Wally: My new fragrance. It's half pepper spray and half gym sock. It has a dual purpose. The pepper spray is so I can build up an immunity to it. Dilbert: That'll probably come in handy someday. Wally: Right? The second purpose is to crate an odiferous moat around me to discourage the weaker romantic applicants. Carol: Unh!!! Wally: I might need to tweak the formula.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2014's comic on:


Tags #business people, #engineers, #skunks, #spray perfumr, #marketing, #engineer, #resist killing, #terrific job, #business, #engineering

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INTRODUCTIONS Coworker: My name is Alan, and my job in Marketing is to spray perfume on skunks. Dilbert: I'm Dilbert. My job as an engineer is to resist killing Alan. Coworker: You're doing a terrific job. Dilbert: Stop spraying me with perfume! Introductions

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Share December 14, 1989's comic on:


Tags #animal behavior, #skunk, #ice cream, #strawberry, #animals, #animal nature, #bowl, #arm chair

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Dilbert: Yikes!!! A skunk in the house. Skunk: Hi. Oh, don't worry; we skunks only spray when we're scared... I certainly wouldn't use my threatening power to force you to do my bidding. Dilbert: Then why is your tail twitching?! Skunk: I'm scared you might not offer me a big bowl of strawberry ice cream.

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Share March 26, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #painter, #painting, #art, #landscape, #outside, #interrupting

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Painter: Excuse me... Sir? I'm trying to paint this view. Would you mind not walking right in front of me? Dilbert: Oops. Sorry. Painter: It's already too late.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #goldfish, #hair on cat, #hairless cat, #dilbert spray

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"Thanks for inviting me over, Dogbert. We little hairless cats are usually shunned." "FSSSS" "I would have bet anything that that wouldn't work." "Hair!!" "Now the goldfish."

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Share April 24, 1995's comic on:


Tags #big job, #downsizing, #hired dogbert construction, #lease to state, #new carpet, #prison cells, #empty cubicles

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "We've got a lot of empty cubicles because of downsizing." The Boss points to Dogbert, who is wearing a hard hat and holding some plans, and says, "I hired the Dogbert Construction Company to convert part of the office into prison cells which we'll lease to the state." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Sounds like a big job." Dogbert responds, "Nah. A little paint, new carpet and we're there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #invention, #deodorant, #sarcasm, #bones, #sweat

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Dilbert shows Dogbert a device that looks like a handle. He says, "This is my newest invention: the deodorant spray booster pack!" Dilbert explains, "You connect it to any can of deodorant to boost the rate of output." Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert replies, "Why?! . . . Do you know how much time is wasted waiting for the spray to hit your armpit?" Dilbert activates the device and it blows him through the wall. Dilbert lies on his back in the backyard. He says, "As my best friend, I'm sure you can contain any sarcastic references to deodorant until my bones mend." Dogbert replies, "No sweat."

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Share January 12, 1997's comic on:


Tags #buying car, #touch negotiator, #suggested retail price, #invisible spary, #scurvy, #tax audits, #airbag, #gravel, #lease terms, #engraved, #hood ornamnet

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The caption says, "Buying a car." Dilbert sits across from a car salesman's desk. The salesman says, "You're one tough negotiator." Dilbert replies, "Thanks." The salesman says, "It only took you four hours to get me all the way down to the manufacturer's suggested retail price." The salesman cries, "There's no profit left!! My family will go hungry!!" The man bawls. The salesman stops crying and says, "Sorry. I assume you want the rust inhibitor coating for only $500." Dilbert replies, "Um . . .Yeah. Rust is bad." The man jumps up and shouts, "Yes!! Ka-ching ka-ching!" The salesman says, "Sorry. We also have an invisible spray that protects against scurvy and tax audits." Dilbert replies, "Well . . . Okay." The salesman says, "Initial here if you want your airbag to be full of fresh aspen air instead of gravel." Dilbert reads the contract and says, "Only $600." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, "And the lease terms are engraved on this free hood ornament!" Dogbert replies, "Be glad they didn't install it."

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Share June 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dogbert consults, #teflon, #body, #shake well, #before using

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Caption "Dogbert Consults" Dogbert hands the boss a spray can. dogbert says, "Spray this Teflon on your body to better ignore the input of your subordinates." The boss sprays. The boss now has a pan for a head. Dogbert says, "Next time, shake well before useing." The boss says, "Who cares what you say?!"

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Share January 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #red white shirt, #spilled, #Women, #party, #drink in face, #salt, #lighter fluid, #set on fire, #burned, #not happy, #not popular

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Dilbert is at a cocktail party. A woman says, "You spilled red wine on your shirt." The woman says, "You should dilute it with white wine." A woman throws a glass of wine in Dilberts face and says, "You'll thank me for this later." The woman says, "I think that helped." Another woman approaches. Woman 2 says, "You need salt to absorb it." Woman 2 throws a drink in Dilbert's face and says, "Try my margarita." Women 1 says, "Salt didn't work. Let's try pepper spray." Woman 2 says, "Perhaps lighter fluid..." Woman one sprays pepper spray and says, "No harm in trying." Woman 2 says, "I have one more idea." Dilbert walks into his living room with his shirt burned. dilbert says, "Just once, I'd like to got to a party and not be set on fire." Dogbert says, "There is a stain on your rug."